Something Is Wrong. I’m Not Smart Enough To Know Exactly What Is Wrong. I’ll Let You Figure It Out.

My newspaper tells me that in 2013 our 9% Approval Rating Congress (elected by us) passed 73 Laws.

During 2013 Bureaucrats (elected by no one) issued 3,659 Regulations.

There is the thorny issue. The 73 is probably too high but the 3,659 is definitely too high. You’re smart. You figure it out.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: For starters, we ought to require the Bureaucrats adopt the Congress’ Three Day Work Week? Really, how much damage can they do in Three days? Oops! I just saw the flaw in this bit of logic.

(115)

Message to Congress. Don’t Be A Yes Man! Next Time Your Party Leader Says No ... You Say No!

Before I get into the Foolishness of this one, consider these facts about the Post Office’s plan to save money by eliminating some House To House Delivery...

• Something has to be done since the Postal Service reported a $1.9 billion loss for the first three months this year despite continued cost-cutting, a 2.3 percent rise in operating revenue and increased employee productivity.
• Something has to be done since the package business has risen but the Postal Service continues to struggle with inflationary cost increases and an ongoing decline in first-class mailing as people move to the Internet for letter writing and bill paying.
• Postal officials have asked repeatedly for comprehensive legislation from Congress to give them more control over personnel and benefit costs and more flexibility in pricing and products.
• Various legislative proposals have been advanced but Congress has not been able to agree on a bill with any broad changes.
• A 2006 law requires the Postal Service to prefund its retiree health benefits. Meeting that requirement accounts for the bulk of the Postal Service's red ink.
• Converting to communal or curbside delivery would save $2 billion annually.
• The plan to put banks of cluster boxes with separate compartments for each address has not been proposed for urban areas since there's no place on city streets to put the cluster boxes.
• People with disabilities who have difficulty leaving their homes could get waivers.
• People who still want delivery to their door could pay extra for it.
• Only 1% of all addresses nationwide would undergo a delivery change.
• Communal boxes offer a safe, locked location for packages, doing away with the need for carriers to leave packages on porches and subject to theft and bad weather.

Everyone ought to agree that something has to be done. Even Congress agrees something has to be done. The problem with Congress is what ought to be done.

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THE PROPOSED PLAN:

“WASHINGTON (AP) — Millions of Americans would no longer get mail delivered to their door but would have to go to communal or curbside boxes instead under a proposal advancing through Congress.

The Republican-controlled House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, on an 18-13 party-line vote, approved a bill Wednesday to direct the U.S. Postal Service to convert 15 million addresses over the next decade to the less costly, but also less convenient delivery method.”

Here is what caught my eye in the above two paragraphs, “on an 18-13 party-line vote”.

The Smartfella’s question is, Why can’t the political parties agree on anything in Washington D.C.?

It is an Etched in Stone Undeniable Fact that Congress cannot agree on anything and here is how it works...

• An idea is proposed.
• The idea is brought up for discussion in Congress.
• The first thing any member of Congress asks is, “Which party made this proposal?”
• If the answer comes back that the Democrat Party made the proposal, a Democrat says, “That’s brilliant! I agree wholeheartedly” and a Republican says, “That is unworkable! You can bet that this proposal is DOA (Dead on Arrival)”.
• If the answer comes back that the Republican Party made the proposal, a Republican says, “That’s brilliant! I agree wholeheartedly” and a Democrat says, “That is unworkable! You can bet that this proposal is DOA (Dead on Arrival)”.

As usual I have a fix...

• Do not tell any member of Congress who made any proposal.
• Do not let them discuss any proposal.
• Do not let them go to Happy Hour because this would give them occasion to find out who proposed the proposal.
• Hold a vote within 20 minutes of the surfacing of any proposal.

This would force the various members of Congress to make up their own minds without the Party’s Leadership telling them how to think.

I drove to Washington yesterday and asked the first 12 members of Congress I came across what did they think about the Curbside Delivery Save a Ton of Money Proposal. Without exception each one of them immediately took out his Smartphone and Googled the word “think”.

My drive home was very depressing.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(721)

There Is Still Hope

Here is what greeted me in my newspaper this morning on the World & Nation page...

• Nigeria’s Boko Haram kills 29 in village attack
• Security Council urged to consider Syria aid access
• Bomb wounds three in Kenyan city of Mombasa
• Puerto Rico cops arrested on corruption charges
• Thirty-two killed in attacks on Shi’ite pilgrims
• Two companies recall walnuts and hummus
• U.S. states probe eBay cyber attack
• Thai army takes power in coup
• Michael Jace (whoever that is) (I put in the parentheses before this parentheses) charged with wife’s murder
• Jennifer Lawrence blames friend for her throwing up

Why do I think There Is Still Hope? That’s because, after reading all the above, I turned to the Comics Page and Blondie & Dagwood are still there.

Yea, I know, I am very good at Grasping at Straws.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(157)

Revolutionary Idea For A New Form Of Government For The Good Ole USofA

Let’s elect Representatives and Senators and send them to Washington D.C. and have them vote on issues on our behalf.

What’s that you say? You say that we already have such a form of government? You really think so? Guess you have not been paying attention.

What we have now is a House of Representatives and a Senate where two individuals decide what the other 433 Representative and Senators will vote on. If these two guys see that they do not have enough votes to carry their side, they do not allow any vote to even take place.

The Smartfella’s Question Of The Day...

Why Do We Have The Other 433 Representatives and Senators?

If we did not bother electing, paying, housing and flying the 433 back and forth, we would save a lot of money.

Anytime change is contemplated in Washington there are always Special Interest Groups that bring pressure to bear to protect their narrow self interest. This idea of mine will certainly devastate one very influential industry and we can expect their spirited opposition... The Happy Hour Industry.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(200)

Times They Are A Changing

Chalk these random thoughts up under the category of Progress... Or is it?

• Boy George is out of the news. Was there ever such a thing as a Boy George?
• We now have cell phones which allow us to be in constant communication with everyone about everything. There is, of course, that major drawback where some of us do not understand that a cell phone can actually be talked into from home. As a result of this misconception, many of us run to our cars and start driving around before we answer our phones. This wasteful practice is costing the Good Ole USofA a lot of precious petroleum resources.
• We no longer have to lick the back of postage stamps with our tongues. Disgusting to begin with and most certainly carried postal germs.
• There are no longer Bell Bottom Pants in my closet.
• For those of us who enjoy Body Mayhem, it is nice that tattooing has become accepted in all parts of our Out of Control Society. Now, if we could only convince the tattooees that turtleneck long sleeve shirts and long pants are the order of the day all year round, our eyes would not hurt near as much as they do.
• I’ve reached the age where I no longer am physically able to go out 3 times a week and run 3 miles because I mistakenly thought it was a lot of fun.
• I no longer have to stick a key in a lock to open my car. At the time I never gave it a second thought about whether or not my car liked being poked like that.

Expanding on the above bullet...

• Had we all understood at the time that cars were people too we would never have gotten rid of our Horse Drawn Buggies which would have allowed the Buggy Whip Makers of the world to continue to enjoy the lifestyle to which they had become accustomed.
• We have now come to the realization that some of the other mere things we once thought of as mere things are actually people too like Spotted Owls, Trees, Household Pets and, of course, Snail Darters.

By golly, I just realized that I am wallowing in the Animal Dark Ages. Please allow me to correct my ignorant statement about “Household Pets” (& other animal stupidity of mine)...

• We no longer “Own a Pet” but we are now "Human Caregivers".
• Your furry friends are no longer “Pets” but are "Companion Animals".
• Others say your Pets/Companion Animals are not either of these two nomenclatures. They are Family Members.
• Those deer eating your garden are now "Free Living Animals" not “Wild”.
• Pets in France will no longer be considered as pieces of furniture, after parliament voted to grant them new rights. A spokesman said, “Parliament had recognized an obvious fact: animals are beings endowed with feelings”.

The Bottom Line... Come to think of it, if a space ship were hovering above the Earth & saw a Human Caregiver walking his Companion Animal and stooping down and picking up the pooped poop, which one would the space visitor think is the Superior Being?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(515)

The Evils Of Smoking

If you have been alive since the 1960s you know all about the dire consequences of smoking cigarettes. If you were alive in the 1960s, you are pretty old which means you may not remember the aforementioned dire consequences, so here is a refresher...

• Cancer of the lungs.
• Cancer of any part of the body that may have been associated with your lungs.
• Emphysema
• Bad breath.
• Awfully bad breath.
• Yellow teeth.
• Stinky clothes.

In doing my research for this blog posting I came across an article that made smoking sound worst than I thought it was...

• There's no addiction like cigarette addiction. (I’m not sure I believe this but that’s what was written by this fellow who some say is a smarter fellow than the Smartfella.)
• Cigarettes can destroy a body's circulation.
• Depression is synonymous with smoking.
• In the short term cigarettes please the senses, but in the long-term they destroy one's life and health completely.
• Many people have died prematurely, suffering horrible slow deaths because of smoking.
• There are harmful effects of tobacco smoke on atherosclerosis, one of the driving forces of cardiovascular disease. All these awful consequences regarding atherosclerosis are greater in women than in men.
• Cigarette smokers are most often selfish, inconsiderate, rude, likely to be in debt, struggling in their marriages, slobs, insulting, disgusted with life and negative in their opinions about lots of things.
• 95% of all cigarette smokers are inconsiderate people, throwing their cigarette butts on the ground, gossiping about others while they smoke with other smokers and live immoral lives of apathy and indifference.

Second Hand Smoke: We are told breathing in smoke that others have breathed out is worst than if you had breathed in the breathed out smoke before the breath in smoker himself had breathed it in. (I have never been able to get my mind around why second hand smoke is worst that first hand smoke.)

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With all of the above having been said and accepted as fact, how do we explain the growing movement in this country that says?...

Marijuana Smoking Is A Wonderful Thing

Sucking Marijuana Smoke Into Your Lungs & Letting It Swish Around In There, Is Many Times A Medical Necessity

It Ought To Be Legalized & Anyone Who Is Against Marijuana Smoking Being Legalized Is A Terrorist

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Do you feel I got carried away with the use of the word “terrorist”. Maybe so, but it’s just that in the Good Ole USofA we are throwing the word “terrorist” around an awful lot these days. I guess I felt it was OK for me to throw it around it after I saw that first grade boy who recently kissed that first grade girl on the hand while in school referred to as a “terrorist”.

The six-year-old was suspended and the powers that be had the charge of Sexual Harassment placed on his record.

I do apologize. Who am I to spread silly just because I see silly being spread?

Does he look like a Terrorist to you?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(537)

Lagniappe: This guy has 20 minutes to live...

No Matter What Your Beliefs Are, You Certainly Are Worried About This... Or Are You?

On February 20, 2014 a petition bearing more than 110,000 signatures was delivered to The Washington Post demanding a ban on any article questioning Global Warming.

What’s that you just said? Did you really say this is OK with you because you are a firm believer in Global Warming? If you just said this, you are at the bottom of the Proverbial Slippery Slope looking up at its well greased entrance.

Let us expand this analogy and look up at other logical ideas on the edge of taking the plunge...

• We do hereby petition that all citizens of the United States vote only for Democratic Candidates.
• We do hereby petition that all citizens of the United States vote only for Republican Candidates.
• We do hereby petition that all citizens of the United States read and be entertained by the humor, logic and cleverness of Foolishness...Or Is It and stop whatever they are doing to read every posting as soon as they become aware that a new posting has been released.

I agree with only one of the above bullets because, as anyone can see, it is Settled Logic.

There you go again saying there I go again getting all riled up about nothing? You contend that no major newspaper will ever adopt such an anti-free thought policy... Or would any major newspaper not?

It seems the Los Angeles Times has already done just that and is waiting patiently for other major newspapers to see the light...

http://forecastthefacts.org/press/releases/2014/2/20/110k-call-washington-post-end-climate-change-denia/

This posting was written by me as I look down from the edge of the Slippery Slope into the abyss at the bottom. It looks like absolute chaos down there…

Be Afraid ... Be Very Afraid

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(307)

ism Is The Problem

I never went to Dartmouth College. I have always thought that was because I was not smart enough but I am beginning to wonder. I probably am smart enough. I am certainly smarter than the current crop of Dartmouth Students.

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I put that 24 Dashes Centered Bolded Line above to indicate that I just decided to take this blog posting in a totally different direction. I am not going to discuss how smart Dartmouth College students are...Or are not. I am going to give credit where credit is due and acknowledge the fact that these Whiz Kids have hit upon what is wrong with the world in which we live.

Do you see it? Of course you do... Or do you?

It’s “ism” words. That’s what’s wrong with us. If we just rid the world of words that end in “ism”, we would make all the peoples of the world like each other, get rid of war, fill in all potholes, clear up all pimples, make everyone slim and trim, close the gap in all gapped teeth persons, etc.

As smart as these students are it appears that they left out an “ism” word that they could have put on their list. They left out “Stupidism”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(217)

Many Times I Have Been Called A Nice Guy...Or Have I Been?

Since you have stuck with me all these years, I am about to be nice to you...finally.

A recent Wall Street Journal Article (We Actually Get Nicer With Age) tells me that I am on the verge of becoming nice.

I've got the age part done and any day now the nice in me will come out.

Feel free to pass this on to all those people who have been waiting for you to be nice to them. It will give them hope.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(101)

This Can’t Be True ... Or Can It?

Is it really true that in the Good Ole USofA a 7 year old was suspended from school for 2 days for chewing his breakfast pastry into the form of a gun? Are we nuts?

As I thought about this story more deeply, I changed my mind....

• He was 7 years old. A 7 year old is not a 6 year old. If he were a 6 year old his actions could be overlooked but a not 7 year old! That’s unconscionable!
• A 7 year old is only 11 years away from being an 18 year old and an 18 year old can carry a gun in the Armed Forces and is already old enough to carry a gun in Chicago.

Going one step further, if I were the school principal and, if this little hoodlum had chewed part of his breakfast pastry into the form of 5 or 6 bullets, I might not have been able to restrain myself. There is no telling what I would have done to this little Capone Wannabe!

As I was pecking this bit of Foolishness out, I started to think that I was getting carried away. I called Willy Wonka and he assured me that I was right on and told me to go to press.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(228)

Read it and weep... http://foxnewsinsider.com/2013/03/02/7-year-old-suspended-for-biting-his-pastry-into-a-gun/

The IRS Ought To Spend A Little Time Reading History

The English Peasant’s Revolt of 1381 started when tax collectors attempted to squeeze a Poll Tax from villagers in Essex. It didn’t go well and the tax collectors were run out of the village.
When troops arrived to enforce order, a peasant mob ran them off as well and beheaded six clerks who had come along to do the math.
Now don’t go saying to yourself, “Self, the Smartfella is advocating violence because he wants people beheaded!”
I am not doing any such thing. I just think, if the IRS would read a little history, they might get a little nervous and a wee bit more pleasant. In my book nervous and pleasant would be a step in the right direction for the IRS.
I just had a call from my assigned IRS Harasser. I read him this blog posting and he said to me, “I am very familiar with the word 'nervous' because I see it all the time but what does the word ‘pleasant’ mean?”
I told him to Google It!
Would I kid u?
Smartfella