Tuesday, August 27, 2013

We Could Save A Lot Of Time

We could save a lot of time if only each one of my dear readers would come over to my house each morning and read the newspaper over my shoulder as I read my newspaper.

OK, I know that is not possible so you will have to continue reading about what I read by reading Foolishness...Or Is It’s. Not a bad way to spend a small part of your day... Or is it?

My newspaper recently told me another reason why I am glad I am old and retired. That reason is I am not out in the working world of today experiencing what they are experiencing and being required to act as if I understand the “Changes for the Better” that are constantly raising their ugly collective heads.

Here is the headline of the article that caused me to start pecking out this bit of Foolishness...

Beer on Fridays. Pets In The Office. Weekly Yoga.

I will direct this Foolishness to Pets In The Office...

In the Old Days: I would be confronted with tears and/or requests to write a rebuttal when I wrote up an employee in the Areas for Improvement Section of their Performance Appraisal as follows, “Breaks pencil points in pencil sharpener because puts too much inward pressure on pencils.”

In the Now Days: I would be confronted with tears, demands to write a rebuttal and/or their lawyer’s business card when I wrote up an employee in the Areas for Improvement Section of their Performance Appraisal, as follows...

  • “Need to counsel with your Cute Little Doggie about its Interdoggie Relationships with other doggies because it is apparently not very well liked by many of its Doggiepeers”.

or

  • “Your Cute Little Doggie ought to stop pooping on the office floor whenever the Monthly Sales Figures show a decline”.

or

  • “I have noticed that, every time you are on the verge of coming up with a really big idea, you go outside to take your Cute Little Doggie for a walk and, when you return, your fellow workers have reported to me that you sit down and say to yourself, “Where was I? Oh darn, I lost it! Now I have to start all over again!”

Let’s not leave Organized Protests out this discussion...

  • I would find myself having to deal with Associate (FKA: Employee) Work Stoppages (FKA: Strikes) because of the unavailability of an adequate supply of Lysol Wipes, Small Plastic Shovels, Latex Gloves, Plastic Bags and/or Paper Towels.

If you are one of My Dear Readers who is still working, please don’t despair. You will be old and retired before you know it.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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