NotHipVille, USA is where I live. I like it here.
Here is a headline for a news article in a recent edition of my newspaper...
300 people escape early morning fire in London hotel
I just did it to you again. I lied about the headline I saw. I actually pecked out the headline the way it ought to have been written.
Here is the true headline...
Rihanna escapes early morning fire in London hotel
I found this article educational. My first question to myself was, “Self, what is a Rihanna?” The article informed me that she is some kind of singer. I found a picture of her… 
I feel hipper just looking at her picture.
The article informed me that 300 saved people are not as important as one saved Rihanna.
Rihanna tweeted her 21,000,000 followers from outside the hotel.
What’s wrong with us? Please allow me to comment on, “21,000,000 followers”...
- Are there really 21,000,000 hip people spending their days waiting for a Rihanna to tweet her innermost thoughts and feelings?
- Is there not anyone out there reading a chemistry book or trying to find a cure for some dire debilitating disease or just sitting around thinking deep thoughts about something deep?
Here is what our Rihanna tweeted to her 21,000,000 twits…
“Roamin da streets since 6am! Fyah in da telly”
Please allow me to comment on her tweet or, as she would say, “da tweet”...
- While I concede “roamin” is a whole lot shorter than “roaming”, is it really better than “roaming”?
- While I concede “da” is a whole lot shorter than “the” is it really better than “the”?
- What’s with “fyah”? It is not any shorter than “fire”. Why not just say “fire”?
- If I had not read the headline of the article I may never have figured out that “telly” was hotel (or hotelly). Being a thinking person I would probably have suspected that Rihanna was tweeting the world about her telephone or her television issues.
When all is texted and tweeted (we used to say “when all is said and done”), the world we all live in is very confusing and often very depressing. I think I am now going to read a few chapters in my chemistry book and, since a dire debilitating disease is probably about to jump all over my aged bones, I am going to settle back and think a few deep thoughts about something more important than what a Rihanna is doing.
Would I kid u?
8 comments:
In the immortal words of Bob, of Bob and Ray Radio Fame, Rihanna will never be "The Winner of Seven National Diction Awards."
she's texting in Ebonics, lol
NotHipVille sounds sort of fictional. My Mail Lady says that NotHipVille requires extra postage.
A singer, don't think I've hear any of her songs. Maybe she backed up Sinatra, Bennett or Nat King Cole. A singer, really?
I really liked this one! Was going to tweet you but don't know how. Maybe I can conjure it up ("cun-jewer" in tweet language) with my old chemistry set!
You could have been the head-writer for Andy Rooney.
That's assuming Andy Rooney had writers, which I sort of doubt he did.
A friend was at my house and saw your blog. She would like to be added to your list of blogees. She enjoyed your blog about Rihanna and would like to read more.
Loved the Rihanna posting - best one yet!
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