Chick-fil-A & The Rose Bowl

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Before you even begin to read this one I am admitting to you that I am exaggerating ... A Little Bit.

The other day I was in a Chick-fil-A trying to enjoy my chicken soup but I was having hard time with the enjoying part. You don’t yet know where I am going with this Foolishness…Or Is It but you have all been in my situation. Let’s be honest, some of you have also ruined someone else’s lunch with your Cell Phone Voice.

I could not concentrate on my soup because of that guy at the table behind me who was talking on his cell phone as if he were the only person in that Chick-fil-A. There was no doubt that everyone in that dining area, the kitchen and the two drive-through lanes could hear this loud mouth telling his brother about his trials and tribulations with getting his car registration processed through the DMV.

Where does the Rose Bowl come into this picture? It is so obvious that you are going to kick yourself for not seeing it without my telling you.

If the Rose Bowl officials would open one of those press box windows and let this guy stick his head outside (with his cell phone at his ear), he could easily keep everyone informed about what is happening down on the field. They could rip out all those wires and speakers and let my Chick-fil-A fellow diner take over.

For the Half Time Entertainment he could tell everyone about his difficulties with the DMV.

Would I kid u?

I Don’t Know What That Is But I Know I Am Afraid Of It, Whatever It Is

My newspaper tells me that in Louisiana at McNeese State University an entire building was closed down until further notice because of possible asbestos contamination.

The Smartfella fully supports such an extreme action because we can’t have those asbestos thingies crawling around inside our young students.

The late Paul Harvey just came into my Computer Room and said there may have been an over-reaction in this case. He says I should tell you, The Rest of the Story...

On the third floor of Kaufman Hall a single door was cut in half by contractors and, “There was a release of some material. It is possible that asbestos was inside the door”.

The Smartfella has several areas of concern that lean toward over reaction...

• This is a building that is at least three stories high.
• They cut open one single door.
• They found “some material” was inside that one single door.
• If there is concern about what comes out when they cut open one single door, don’t cut open any more doors.

Of course there was “some material” inside. There is some material inside of every door. Are they really afraid that the something inside the door might have been something?

Would I kid u?

How Dare You Try To Prevent Disaster!

Sit up straight and pay attention to this one. It could be hard to follow but there is wisdom in here somewhere...Humorous Wisdom.
Words recently spoken in our 9% Approval Rated Congress...
“All members of Congress have conferred with me about this statement I am about to make. Yes that is right. All members are in full agreement about the imminent danger we are facing regarding the operation of our Post Offices across this great nation. We are demanding action!
Our Post Office has been floundering around and losing money for so long that is unconscionable that no action has been proposed by our Postmaster General to rectify this awful situation.
Without a specific and detailed plan to save the Post Office, the very fabric of life in the Good Ole USofA will be forever changed for the worst.”

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Heeding the serious prompting from our 9% Approval Rated Congress, our Postmaster General issued a specific and detailed plan to save the Post Office that same day.

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Words spoken the very next day in our 9% Approval Rated Congress in response to the Postmaster General’s specific and detailed plan to save the Post Office...
“All members of Congress have conferred with me about this statement I am about to make. Yes that is right. All members are in a state of shock that the Postmaster General has proposed a plan of action to save the Post Office.
What the heck is going on here? Does the Postmaster General really think our directive to take action to save the Post Office actually mean that we expected him to take action to save the Post Office?
This is extraordinary! What the heck is air for if it is not for members of Congress to poke holes into without having to worry about anyone taking us seriously?
If people in this country start paying attention to what we say, we stand ready to close all sessions of Congress and not let the folks back home know anything about what goes on in these hallowed chambers.
If we are going to be paid attention to, it will put a lot of pressure on us and actually take all the fun out of being a member of congress.”

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All right, I made up the two congressional speeches above...Or did I?

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If you have not had enough of reading about our Post Office and Congress, you can click on the link below and read the article that inspired me to write this Foolishness...Or Is It?.
http://news.yahoo.com/postal-loses-3-2b-2nd-161550610.html

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Before I let you go, a couple more comments from The Smartfella:
In this single article you will find two statements that, to my way of thinking (there I go thinking again), are in complete contradiction...
“The Senate last month passed a bill that would give the agency an $11 billion cash infusion...”

and

“The Postal Service, an independent agency of government, does not receive tax money for its operations...”
They must think we are stupid.
Oops, it just dawned on me that these two contradictory statements make perfect sense. It is not Tax Money. It is China’s Money.
Would I kid u?

After All We Have Done For Afghanistan, They Turn Around And Do This To Us! This Is awful!

I see where our president and the president of Afghanistan have signed the Strategic Afghan Pact. I am not one to be too critical but on this occasion I have a deep seated need to express myself.
There is language in the Pact that I feel the Afghans have no right to demand of the Good Ole USofA!...

Assurance that more will be done to combat corruption.

This is unconscionable! After all we have done for this country are they really taking the position that they will not take our money until and unless we get rid of corruption in the United States? This is one tall order!
We had every intention of going to an awful lot of trouble to borrow the money to give to them. If we have to get rid of corruption before they will take our money, I feel certain that there are some hotheads in our Congress who are going to strike back and go looking for other countries to borrow money for or they will just go straight to Happy Hour and ForgetAboutIt!
Would I kid u?

Some Are Going To Accuse Me Of Making This One Up

If you are the owner of a Guinness Book of World Records, please do not tell me. I would hate to think that a reader of my Foolishness...Or Is It blog could be silly enough to buy one of these foolish books.
I have really done it this time. I have insulted a whole bunch of people. Please allow me to put some weight behind my disparaging remarks...

Unwanted Cranial Ammunition Acquisition

There you have it. This is my opening salvo. Did I hear you just say you don’t know what the heck I am talking about?
I admit I did not handle that very well. Here is more information to support my position...

• Unwanted Cranial Ammunition Acquisition is a Record Category in the Guinness Book of World Records.
• This category is set up for the person (could there possibly be more than one?) who has a bullet embedded in his head that was not put there by the person with the bullet embedded in his head.

The news article that got me started on this was published in my local newspaper on April 27, 2012. The article sadly tells us about the record holder dying at the age of 103 on April 23^rd. His specific record was that he had been living with a bullet in his head longer than any other living bulleted person.
What exactly was his record? He was accidentally shot by his older brother in 1917. His record accumulation stopped on April 23^rd at 94 years and 6 months.
The saddest part of all this is the bulleted record holder did not learn he had been crowned the world record holder in the Unwanted Cranial Ammunition Acquisition category until 2006. That means he had only 6 years of being pleased as punch that he was such a special person.
What do you want to bet that this is not the only Foolish Category in the Guinness Book of World Records? That’s why I see this book as silly.
There is one category that I would be so interested in seeing that I might be willing to buy a book myself...

Wanted Cranial Ammunition Acquisition

Those who were willing to shoot themselves in their heads just so they would have a shot at being in the Guinness Book of World Records must be an interesting bunch of people to read about.
Many of you probably think I made up the category of Wanted Cranial Ammunition Acquisition. I think it is safe to say that some of those many are absolutely certain that I made up this category...Or are they?
Would I kid u?