If Roger Miller Were Alive, He Would Turn Over In His Grave

Considering what has been happening in England lately, do you think ole Roger could stand up in front of us today and sing…

England swings like a pendulum do

Bobbies on bicycles two by two

Westminster Abbey

The Tower of Big Ben

The rosy red cheeks of the little children

I saw in the paper while everything was coming apart over there there was consideration of giving the police new “powers” to combat the lawlessness.

If this new “power” sounds a little silly to you that means your head is screwed on correctly.

The “power” under consideration was the authority to tell masked looters, rioters, arsonists, muggers or vandals that they had to take off their masks.

This started my foolishness juices flowing. Does this mean that it is only against the law in England to loot, riot, set things on fire, mug or vandalize if you are wearing a mask?

Carrying the Foolishness…Or Is It? further, once that the mask had been removed, would English Bad Persons then have been allowed to continue with the evil deeds that they had chosen that day’s activity?

Would I kid u?

NOTE: Don’t blame me… BlogSpot (Google) is responsible for those ads at the bottom of my Foolishness.

Talking Heads & Pundits … Dumb & Dumber

I copied the excerpts below from a news article about the Chinook Crash a short while back. It got me very agitated.

I always get agitated at Talking Heads and Pundits when they try to sound like experts while having no expertise except their mouths and/or their word processors.

The “Allen” in the quote below is an U.S. Army General...

“Allen defended the decision to send in the Chinook loaded with special operations forces to pursue insurgents escaping from the weekend firefight with Army Rangers in a dangerous region of Wardak province of eastern Afghanistan.”

• Are they upset because they were going after the bad guys? That's what our fighting forces do. That's why they are called "fighting forces".
• Are they upset because our fighting forces were sent into "a dangerous region"? They are trained to go into dangerous regions.

“Questions remain about why the troops were called in to aid other U.S. combatants engaged in a firefight”…

• Huh?
• Can they really be questioning why they were sent in to aid their fellow combatants?

  Al Capp of Li’l Abner Fame used to say he was,

“An Expert on Nothing with an Opinion on Everything.”

 

Al Capp was a humorist. These Talking Heads are not supposed to be funny. They are also better than Al Capp ever was at being Experts on Nothing with Opinions on Everything.

Would I kid u?

More Foolishness…

Al Capp also was the creator of the mascot symbol for the high school I went to in New Orleans … The Fighting Blue Jay

I bet you can hardly contain your emotions after gazing upon this little bird.  

NOTE: Don’t blame me… BlogSpot (Google) is responsible for those ads at the bottom of my Foolishness.

It’s Presidential Election Time Again…Have You Noticed?

Yes it is time to be bombarded about the Presidential Election…again. That’s the bad news. The worst news is it has already been going on for a long time and it is going to be going on all the way until November of NEXT year. There ought to be a law to prevent this because this is Cruel and Unusual Punishment.
We are presently involved picking our next ruler and much of what we do to pick our next ruler does not make sense. We have certain standards and our standards many times have nothing to do with the qualifications that an office seeker ought to have.
Would you vote for a president who was bald? You just said to yourself that you certainly would but would you really do that?
Here is a list of disqualifiers that would certainly be hot discussion topics by the folks back home if such candidates were offered up for consideration to be President of the United States of America.
Coffee Shop Conversation…

• “That guy has a brilliant organized mind, is highly educated and has 22 years of experience in the successful governance of the largest city in America but I could never vote for him because he is too fat.”
• “That guy has an impeccably flawless ability to analyze any situation correctly and determine the proper course of action but he is too short.”
• “I see what you are saying. I fully agree that he is the only one who could possible save us from the impending doom that is upon us but do you see that huge space between his front teeth? When you get right down to it, you can’t trust anyone with a gap that big.”

Again the Smartfella? does not just make silly things up. He is very proud that he has an unblemished record of proposing specific and detailed plans of action to remedy what he makes silly about.
I say put the name of everyone wanting to be president into a hat and have Justin Bieber reach in and pick out our next ruler.
I can hear you saying, “That would be foolish”. My comeback to you is … “Are you telling me that the way we do it now is not foolish?”
On the other hand, why don’t be forget the hat and simply appoint Justin Bieber to the job. He may not be qualified but he is Good Looking, he has Great Hair and, most importantly, he does not have a gap in his front teeth.
The best part is he could go out on the North Portico on weekends and sing to his subjects all across The Fruited Plain.
Would I kid u?
NOTE: Don’t blame me… BlogSpot (Google) is responsible for those ads at the bottom of my Foolishness.

What A Straw Poll Is Is A Mystery But I Do Wish It Were Better At Being Whatever It Is

Go ahead and admit it, you do not know what a Straw Poll is, do you?

Please allow me to help you come to a better understanding of just what a Straw Poll really is. Of course I will be using the Iowa State Fair Straw Poll in Ames, Iowa to instruct you. The Iowa Straw Poll is a confusing political exercise which is a testament to...

• The presidential candidate who has the best organized political organization behind him/her.
• The presidential candidate who has the best organized political organization behind him/her who has the biggest tent.
• The presidential candidate who has the best organized political organization behind him/her who has the biggest tent who serves the best BBQ.
• The presidential candidate who has the best organized political organization behind him/her who has the biggest tent who serves the best BBQ and the most busses to ride the eaters from the BBQ to the place where the voting is being done.

Now do you understand?

Referring back to the Subject of this Foolishness...Or Is It?, “I Do Wish It Were Better At Being Whatever It Is”. Can you imagine how much better off we would all be if the Iowa Straw Poll were an exact, infallible, never-been-wrong predictor of who the next President of the good ole USofA was going to be?

It the Iowa Straw Poll was that good, we could do away with the agony of the rest of the Presidential Campaign and just wait for the Inauguration.

We would all be spared the awful ordeal we are about to endure. Instead we could just take naps in front of the TV while Talking Heads just sat there staring straight ahead with nothing to say. It would be like watching CSPAN for the next 14 months.

There it is. You are now educated about Straw Polls. The only question left unanswered is... What Does Straw Have to Do with All of This?

Would I kid u?

I’m Not Sure What Diversity Really Is But I know This Is Ridiculous

In this Foolishness…Or Is It? I am taking off my Silly Hat and am donning my Reporter Hat. I am going to just report on what I have read and maybe, just maybe, some bit of foolishness will show its silly head.

My source if information is the Wall Street Journal which reported on what a Heather Mac Donald wrote in www.city-journal.org.

I know about the WSJ but I am not familiar with City Journal or Heather Mac Donald (or why she puts a space between the “Mac” and the “Donald”) but that is okay because neither it nor she is familiar with me.

Heather Mac Donald wrote recently about California’s budget crisis and how a spokesman for the University of California said, “Our campuses and the UC Office of the President already have cut to the bone.” Heather Mac Donald goes on to disagree with this “cut to the bone” contention, when it comes to the area of Diversity.

The following is a quote from her July 14, 2011 article…

“Not only have diversity sinecures been protected from budget cuts, their numbers are actually growing. The University of California at San Diego, for example, is creating a new full-time “vice chancellor for equity, diversity, and inclusion.” This position would augment UC San Diego’s already massive diversity apparatus, which includes the Chancellor’s Diversity Office, the associate vice chancellor for faculty equity, the assistant vice chancellor for diversity, the faculty equity advisors, the graduate diversity coordinators, the staff diversity liaison, the undergraduate student diversity liaison, the graduate student diversity liaison, the chief diversity officer, the director of development for diversity initiatives, the Office of Academic Diversity and Equal Opportunity, the Committee on Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation Issues, the Committee on the Status of Women, the Campus Council on Climate, Culture and Inclusion, the Diversity Council, and the directors of the Cross-Cultural Center, the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Resource Center, and the Women’s Center.”

Whatever happened to Reading, Writing and Arithmetic?

This is the area of any Foolishness…Or Is It? where I say something foolishness or silly or tongue in cheek or smart alecky or wise guyish but this time I am at a loss for words. Could the above quote actually be true. Could their diversity apparatus listing really be that long? I must have made it up…Or did I?

If you want to see if I made the quote up, you can go read the entire article at…

http://www.city-journal.org/2011/cjc0714hm.html 

or you could just trust me.

Have I ever kidded u?

Note: For the record, I did not read the entire article. It has 1,762 words and is 17 paragraphs long. I just found the Diversity Explosion Listing, stopped reading and started in on my Blog Posting.

An America Living Inside Cubicles Would Be A Better America

W.C Fields was known for his crazy humor. He was also well known for his dislike of children. He many times said that he thought children should be raised inside a barrel and fed through a hole. I think he may have been on to something really worth thinking about with this comedy bit of his.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not advocating his Barrel Feeding Plan for our children. I am thinking he had a point; if you think of the barrel idea as an analogy for my idea that the good ole USofA might be better off if it were segmented into cubicles. Cubicles would isolate us from each other and that would be good. Please allow me to explain (this is going to be a hard one to explain)…

Because of our world of instant communication, we spread news very fast. Some of this news is not helpful to society.

Let’s say an awful person in New Hampshire does some gruesome thing. Within moments an awful person in Oregon who has the potential to be a gruesome person sees what his fellow awful person in New Hampshire has done and says to himself, “Self, that is a very gruesome thing to have done to someone else. Why did not I think of that?”

After a momentary disappointment in his own inability to come up with new gruesome ideas on his own, he thinks, “I’m going to do that terrible thing too”. This is how the modern world spreads evil.

My wish is that different parts of America were divided into Isolated Cubicles. If we were so divided, we would not spread our evilness all over this country.

Cubicle Living, as great an idea as it is, does have its drawbacks…

• In the Cubicle America the modern phenomena of getting Tattoos all over our bodies would still be contained inside the originating cubicle. That would really be a shame … Or would it?
• If we lived inside Cubicles, many of us would never have been exposed to Lady Gaga. That would be terrible … Or would it?
• In a Cubicle Controlled Country many of us would never have had the pleasure of watching American Idol. That would be horrific … Or would it?

The late Paul Harvey just came into my Computer Room and told me I ought to tell you the Rest of the Story about W.C. Fields and the children and the barrel and the feeding and the hole. The Rest of the Story is that W.C. went on to say, “and, when they become teenagers, plug up the hole”.

Don’t blame me. I did not say this terrible thing about our children/teenagers. I only related what W.C. said.

Would W.C. kid u?

I Have Discovered Where All The Money Is Going & Why It Is Going So Fast

I just got back from Washington DC. I really tried to get this startling information over the Telephone or via the Internet but I ran up against a stone wall that required me to go to DC and demand I be told the truth.

Without the Freedom of Information Act and my asking Bruce Willis to go with me, I never would have been granted access to this heavily guarded secret. (I can tell you this for sure, those Bureaucrats sure were afraid of Bruce.)

Are you ready? I warn you this is going to make you real mad but it will also explain one of the many things you have always been unable to understand about the inner workings of Congress.

We have always been told that members of our Congress are paid a salary. This is not true! They are actually on a Spoken Word Volume Incentive Payment Plan that pays them 5 cents for every word they speak in carrying out their responsibilities.

Under this generous reimbursement plan not only do their financial rewards pile up at a dramatic rate but they are given double credit for certain key words and phrases like: “My friend on the other side of the aisle”, “Comprehensive” and “Folks”.

Now that I have told you what’s going on up there in the halls of Congress, it is encumbered upon each of you to demand a change. Knowing that politics is a process, we can’t expect to make this all go away overnight. I recommend that we at least petition Congress to stop the Double Credit Incentive. Later we can get organized to mount our campaign to get them to give up this entire Spoken Word Volume Incentive Payment Plan.

Then we can put in its place a Regular Ole Salaried Payment Plan to pay them their true worth, $3,200 a year. Even $3,200 may be a stretch but they are worth something are they not? ... Or are they?

As a result of the enlightenment that you have been exposed to in this Foolishness…Or Is It?, you now know several bits of information about your Congressmen and Senators that you did not know before you were exposed…

• Why they fight so hard to get into Congress.
• Why they talk so much.
• Why they say the same things over and over.
• Why they leave office a lot wealthier than when they came into office.

Would I kid u?