The Smartfella? Will Not Be Elected President!

As we wind down this awful Mid-Term Election Cycle it has become apparent that our slide down the Slippery Slope is still accelerating.

There was a time when we thought that the Truth, Justice and the American Way was what we were all about. Now it appears that we are all about Obfuscation, Trickery and We Know What You Did Thirty Years Ago.

Our candidates don't talk about Issues very much. Instead we bombarded with Rumors, Out-Right Lies and Molehill Magnifications.

Those of you who read my Foolishness…Or Is Its? know I often use the absurd to make what I think are logical points. This is exactly why I can’t be President of the good ole USofA. My silliness would certainly be taken out of context and I would be beaten into submission.

Here are just three examples…

• Criminal Education… I have advocated educating our criminals so that they will become more effective at their chosen profession.
• Economic Pump Priming… Contrary to the wishes of our Federal Government which wants us to spend every dollar we get our hands on, I have dared to put in writing my long-held belief that we ought to save our money.
• Child Safety… I openly took the position that riding babies backwards in the rear seats of automobiles is confusing the little tykes.

Can’t you just hear my worthy opponent tear me limb from political limb in our nationally televised debate? I would not have a chance.

It could be worse. At least they never found out that I dipped Margo Quigley’s pig tail in my ink well… Or did they?

Would I kid u?

Do The Police Really Protect Us From Everything?

I recently read in my newspaper where a man had gone to his Police Department complaining that he had been sold some Bad Marijuana.

A Police Department spokesman was quoted as saying there was an investigation of the complaining man in process on a charge of “Possession of a Counterfeit Controlled Substance”.

You think I am making up more “facts” do you not? It is a fact that I have not made up anything you have read above.

Below I will make stuff up … Or will I?

Headlines of the Future…

• Angry Man Returns Box Of Dynamite To Hardware Store Complaining That It Had Not Blown Up City Hall.

• Despondent Would-Be Shooter, “I Thought I was Really Going To Wreak Havoc In The Bowling Alley Last Night But My AK47 Jammed. Can I sue the Russians?”

Just is case you still do not believe me, I will say it again, the First Two Paragraphs of this Foolishness…Or Is It? were not made up. The following is a quote from the news article, “the incident remains under investigation and the man could face a charge of possessing a counterfeit controlled substance”.

Would I kid u?

We Ought To Know What We Are Doing ... Ought We Not?

 

I have written before about our 9% Approval Rating Congress not knowing what they are doing. This posting is a bit of a takeoff on the “not knowing” part of the prior sentence and attempts to zero in on...

What they don’t know even though it is right in front of them.

I just read a news article in my newspaper and I did not get beyond the first line when I knew I was looking at the makings of a Foolishness...Or Is It? commentary.

It is not important what the actual article itself was about. If I got into the article’s content, some of you might take issue with my political leanings and the Smartfella? definitely has political leanings. He just does not write about his leanings in his blog for fear of being attacked by people who think they are smarter than he is smart. Everyone is entitled to his own stupid opinion and that definitely includes me.

The first line of the article says,

A little-noticed provision in the annual defense-spending bill...”

There it is... “little-noticed”! Why is it little-noticed? This brings up several questions...

• Are the bills so big that our congress does not or cannot know what is in them?
• Are the bills so confusing that our congress does not or cannot know what is in them?
• Is our congress not reading these bills?
• Who is writing these bills?

Part of the answer is that the bills are too long and too complicated to be understood, even if they were being read, but that does not make me feel one bit better. Do you feel one bit better?

Would I kid u?

Becoming Special Before Doing Anything Special

In our area of the good ole USofA we start the school year in the middle of August. By the first week of September I was noticing that the bulletin boards outside of our government schools were announcing the teacher who has been selected Teacher of the Year for the particular school. Does this make sense?

I was still confused about these bulletin board announcements when, in late September, I read in my paper that the School District was in the process of selecting the Teachers of the Year to be finalists for Teacher of the Year for the whole School District. The awards banquet is slated for November 4th.

Wow, these people work fast! After less than three months of a nine month school year they already know who the best of the best is.

Most reports show American Children falling behind the children from the rest of the world with regard to education. Imagine how fast and far they would be falling behind if our teachers were not so fast.

Would I kid u?

Not Worrying About Hurricanes

Image via WikipediaI grew up in New Orleans. Hurricanes in my youth were exciting but really no big deal. My father would put masking tape on the plate glass window of his grocery store and we would wait for the winds to blow.

We would sit outside unless and until the winds got really bad and then we would go inside to “ride out” the rest of the storm looking through the masking taped plate glass window.

If the storm was a direct hit and the eye passed right over us, we would go back outside and look up through the eye hole.

If it got too late, my mother would send my brother and me to bed and we would find out the rest of the story in the morning.

One thing we never did even think of doing was leaving town.

Betsy and Katrina changed all that.

------------------------------------------------

We have now gone to the other extreme with hurricanes...

• In the old days we hardly paid any attention until the storm entered the Gulf of Mexico.
• Now our 24 Hour New Cycle starts telling us about puffs of wind that might turn into something puffier while they are still off the coast of Africa.
• We give them names when they elevate themselves to stiff breezes.

Many of these storms lately have stayed in the Atlantic and headed north into the Arctic. There they quietly turn back into puffs of wind.

By the time the hurricanes are in the process of unpuffing in the Arctic, there have been hundreds of thousands of tee-shirts sold in the Good Ole USofA that have printed on them, “I Survived Hurricane Harry In 2010”.

Would I kid u?

Sad Commentary On Politics

Is there any other commentary to be made about Politics other than sad?

Yesterday a wonderful person, a fine human being and a true hero (not a sports “hero”) was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. The first paragraph of the AP article reads as follows: “In a ceremony that mixed pain, pride and determination, President Barack Obama on Wednesday awarded the Medal of Honor to a young Army Green Beret who saved his patrol by holding off a Taliban ambush in a snowy Afghan valley two winters ago.”

Now begins my Sad Commentary...

Image via Wikipedia

What if this wonderful person had survived the war and returned home and was now running for political office. I shudder to think of all the muck that would be in the process of being hurled at this wonderful person by his opponents. Depending on how diligent the Muckrakers were, one of the mucks might even be true.

Would I kid u?

The Smartfella? Proven Right Again!

On August 4, 2006 I wrote a blog posting that made the absolutely irrefutable contention that more than One Eyewitness was one too many. I also included this brilliant piece of Foolishness in my published book Foolishness...Or Is It? which has now been read by a couple of people. I know you are eager to refresh your memory about this posting, so click on this link... http://forii.blogspot.com/2006_08_04_archive.html .

Why do I bring this up now? That’s because on September 28, 2010 my Foolishness was proven not silly ... again.

On the above referenced date a gunman wreaked havoc on the University of Texas campus. Here are the necessary details about the bad guy to prove my point...

• He was dressed in a black suit.
• He had on a ski mask.

As I watched the frenzied news channels report this riveting story in my gym I began to find myself critical of those talking heads who were saying that there might be a Second Shooter. I actually thought that a Second Shooter Theory could very well have been the result of a rumor.

I later found out that officials had more than a rumor to go on and I puffed up my chest as I realized the Smartfella? was right ... again.

The reason officials were looking for a Second Shooter was because Eye Witnesses reported varying descriptions of the Only Shooter!

What can be so complicated about ... A Black Suit and a Ski Mask?

Would I kid u?

Arnold Is Not Very Smart

Image via WikipediaI am attacking the Governor of California because he is definitely not smart. It is obvious. Don’t you see it? Anyone with any smarts at all would not want to be Governor of California and Arnold wanted to be Governor of California. If he still wants to be Governor of California after almost two full terms, he is really beyond all hope.

My newspaper tells me California is out of control...

• On the brink of insolvency.
• It soon may have to pay its bills with IOUs ... again.
• Arnold proposed a budget last January.
• The legislature had until July 1st to revise and pass a final budget.
• As of September 30th and the legislature has still not finalized a budget.

Image via WikipediaTheir defenders will say they have not been sitting on their hands. They have been passing other legislation. I decided to check out their recent legislative record.

Being open minded I called the California Legislature and asked for a conference call so I could better understand what they have been working so hard on that the budget remains unfinished.

The entire legislature consented to gather in bar so they could explain their actions to me on a speakerphone. I was very pleased that they took so much time out of their busy schedules to patiently explain to me what they have been doing. How lucky you are to be a reader of Foolishness...Or Is It?! You now get to read about and appreciate the California Legislature for all its worth...

• They are working on replacing the State Rock: “It is the intent of the Legislature to remove the serpentine as The State Rock and provide a suitable replacement.”
• Lawmakers passed the Happy Cows Bill.
• The Legislature also found the time to create the Lobster Management Enhancement Advisory Committee.
• They also passed Motorcycle Awareness Month.
• They seemed very proud that they passed Cuss Free Week.

Some legislators say it’s unfair to criticize them for spending time on matters like this. Only a few in the leadership or budget committee are involved in developing a spending plan. The rest of them must go about the normal business of lawmaking.

Just in case you have lost sight of what is normal lawmaking, please go to the beginning of this blog and read it again. This, my dear reader, is normal lawmaking.

Would I kid u?
PS: I delayed sending this posting out and now I see in my newspaper that there is more foolishness coming out of California and I have to expand this piece.

I’m going to have to cut this one off or quit reading my newspaper because the foolishness from California just keeps on coming.

“Medical” Marijuana in California is legal but having more than an ounce or less of non-medical marijuana in your possession has been a Misdemeanor.

California wants to make their Marijuana more free flowing so now they have changed this “offense” from a Misdemeanor to an Infraction.

If I had held off on finalizing this posting, I might have to modify my modification to inform you that it is now a Minor infraction or a Mini infraction or, if you do not have an ounce of Marijuana in your possession, you have committed a Felony.