The Fix

I have an absolutely certain way for our federal government to save enormous amounts of money and each of you can help. After you read this Foolishness?, please write your respective Members of Congress and urge my plan’s immediate adoption.

I am sure you will see the wisdom of what I am about to propose to you…
This could be Big…Really Big!

• Anytime there is any kind of financial hiccup in Washington The Fix is always to raise taxes.
• It is the first thing our 9% Approval Rated Congress turns to.
• Once The Fix is turned to, Congress does not do any more turning because they know they are on the correct path along the Road to Recovery.
• After imposing The Fix, they always head off to Happy Hour with the satisfaction of knowing they have done their jobs well.

My idea does not attempt to alter this Works-Every-Time-Fix of theirs. My plan is actually an augmentation to their time tested and proven course of action

• There is a tremendous and on-going expenditure of tax payer funds involved in flying Members of Congress back and forth to Washington.
• What Congress could is to have each of its members sign 10 Pre-Tax Increase Authorizations (PTIA) each January.
• The PTIAs could then be thrown into the Vote Basket by low pay scale clerks throughout the year as is necessary to keep the tax increase mechanism humming along.
• The members would not even have to go in each January to sign that year’s PTIA’s.
• They could email them in from wherever they are (golf course, tanning salon, bar, etc).

This is so well thought out that the only Members of Congress that actually need to be in Washington are the Senate Majority Leader and the Speaker of the House.

Remember the Dunkin Donuts Baker in the commercial from years ago? He was shown entering his Dunkin Donuts and saying, “Time to make the donuts”. The Speaker and the Leader could just phone each other and say, “Time to get out the Vote Basket”.

Once the process is started the vote and the resultant tax increase could be done in less than an hour. Then they could go to Happy Hour. Yes, I know Happy Hour will be kind of lonely and not near as much fun but that is the price that they will have to pay for the honor of being leaders in our great Democratic Republic.

There is a flaw in this seemingly perfect course of action. Over the years you, my dear readers, have proven your savvy and I am sure that most of you have already seen it.

Because of the tremendous reduction in air travel by Members of Congress, the Airline Industry will suffer significant loss of revenue. This will, of course, mean that Congress will have to pass a law granting the Airline Industry substantial subsidies. This will, of course, mean that we will have to have a Tax Increase.

Would I kid u?