Tuesday, February 14, 2017

My Men Readers Will Appreciate This More Than My Women Readers

About 5 years ago I was walking through Home Depot looking for the beer (Yes, it was one of my Confused Days) and I happened upon a potential Impulse Purchase that was about to become My Impulse Purchase and I impulsively purchased it.


This is why my men readers appreciate this Blog Posting more than my women readers. We do such things as this and it then becomes a two-stage happening...

Ø Stage 1...We buy it.

Ø Stage 2...We put it in the garage and every time we see it in the garage we say to our collective selves, “Self, why did I buy this?”


Since last Thursday I have came to full understand that I am an Excellent Impulse Shopper.


My back attacked me with a vengeance last Wednesday afternoon. I had to sleep in my once sweaty tennis clothes that night because I could not take off my socks and I have an aversion to taking a shower with my socks on.


Picking up something off the floor was almost impossible and necessitated slowly getting down on 1 knee still slowly reaching down and picking up what needed to be picked up.


It is also an interesting phenomenon that, when one hurts one’s back like this, one drops far more things than one normally drops his things.


Why do we say, “Needless to say” and then we automatically go on to say what it was needless to say? I’m going to do it here, “Needless to say, I picked up a whole bunch more things with my Nifty Impulse Purchase in the last few days than I picked up with it since I bought it 5 years ago. All this time my nifty Impulse Purchase sat in my garage saying to itself, ‘Why did he buy me?’”.


Since this is near the Bottom Line of this Posting, I will now give you the Bottom Line...

If you see one of these Grabber/Pinchy Thingies in Home Depot, buy it. If you have a bad back, you are going to need it. If you don’t have a bad back, buy it anyway, because someday you are going to have a bad back.


Would I kid u?