Saturday, March 12, 2016

This Just In From My...That’s An Insult To My Intelligence Department

The constant TV Advertising for Prescription Drugs & GEICO is sometimes interrupted for an ad asking us to Buy Gold. Some of these Gold Selling Companies are offering Purchase Incentives to buy their gold.

The Fella understands how effective such Purchase Incentives can be because he can remember in the 1960s being given Drinking Glasses, Coffee Mugs or S&H Green Stamps as a Purchase Incentive to buy 12 Cents a Gallon Gasoline.


In my mind there is one of these Purchase Incentives that just does not make sense. That is the one that tells us, if I buy their Gold, they will send us a Safe to keep our Gold in.


Now, if it were a huge burglar-proof safe, I would think this would a great idea.


The truth is the Safe is not huge. In fact, it is rather small, light weight & can be broken into is no time at all. Actually no self-respecting burglar would bother taking the time to break into it while still in your house. It’s so small they would just pick it up, carry it home, get a butter knife from the kitchen & open it as they watched America’s America’s Most Wanted on TV while drinking a beer.


I can just picture the following happening all over the Fruited Plain. Two burglars break into a home whose owner has been TV Talked into buying gold & got that Itty Bitty Safe as a Sales Incentive. After a quick search they find the Itty Bitty Safe. One burglar says to his co-worker...

“I just love it when we find these As Seen on TV Itty Bitty Gold Safes! It makes our job so much easier because we know what’s inside them &, best of all, they are so easy to carry. We can significantly shorten our visit because we know we got what we came for. Although I do wish they would put a handle on them. That would make it even better! As a matter of fact, I think I will write a letter to the Gold Selling People & recommend that they start installing Easy Carry Burglar Handles.”


It’s like installing a decal on your home back door that reads... “Don’t break the window. The key is under the flower pot to your left”.


Would I kid u?



Lagniappe: For 50 cents extra you can get the expanded version of the decal which adds on, “You will be glad to know we have the have the latest version of the TV Gold Safe with the Easy Carry Burglar Handle. Have a nice night!”