Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Freedom Of Speech Is Disappearing In The Good Ole USofA But That’s OK

Have I lost my mind? Not yet (but I’m working on it).

I can see a future where we will easily adapt to the loss of Freedom of Speech by making one logical change in how we go about running for public office. If we used to be able to put a man on the moon, we can do this! Allow me to explain.

It seems that Candidates for Public Office cannot say anything in the Political Arena which will not be twisted around into something Stupid, Racist, Unpatriotic or Disqualifying for Future Office.


The candidate walks into the room and says, “Good Morning” and that’s all the Media and the Candidate’s Opponent need to go for the jugular...

  • Did you hear what he said? That’s awful! Just because he is having a good day, does he not have any sympathy for those among us who are struggling to survive each and every day?
  • What about the afternoon & evening? If he really were one with the working class, as he says he is, why would he not wish everyone a Good Entire Day not just a Good Morning?
  • What about those of us who are by nature Pessimistic and Paranoid? They actually enjoy feeling depressed. By telling them “Good Morning”, he will, in all likelihood, ruin their day.

As usual, I see a way out of this awful spiral. Any candidate who does not wish to be savaged for whatever he says ought to Not Say Anything At All during his run for office.


Did I just hear you say, “That’s really crazy!” Not so fast. Follow along with me...

  • The candidate that stays silent will not offend anyone.
  • The candidate that stays silent will not have his word twisted into something Stupid, Racist, Unpatriotic or Disqualifying for Future Office because he did not say anything that could be twisted into something Stupid, Racist, Unpatriotic or Disqualifying for Future Office.
  • His Speaking Opponent will be sliced and diced every time he opens his mouth.
  • Eventually the Non-Speaker will be seen as a logical alternative to the Stupid, Racist, Unpatriotic or Not Qualified for Future Office Speaking Candidate.

Can’t you just hear the voters saying to their collective selves, “We don’t know what the Non-Speaking Candidate stands for but at least we know he is not a Stupid, Racist, Unpatriotic or Not Qualified for Future Office fool like the Speaking Candidate who keeps flapping his gums all the while not realizing that the more he says the more he proves that he is Not Qualified to Hold Future Public Office.”


Would I kid u?


Friday, September 23, 2016

Quick! Someone Get The President! He Needs To Make A Speech!

Read this one slowly...

I'm reading "The President's First Year: None Were Prepared, Some Never Learned - Why the Only School for Presidents Is the Presidency" by Douglas Alan Cohn and I wanted to share this quote with you.


This is what Woodrow Wilson said in both his Inaugural Address and later in his First Annual Message to Congress on December 2, 1913:

"The country, I am thankful to say, is at peace with all the world, and many happy manifestations multiply about us of a growing cordiality and sense of community of interest among the nations, foreshadowing an age of settled peace and good will. More and more readily each decade do the nations manifest their willingness to bind themselves by solemn treaty to the processes of peace, the processes of frankness and fair concession. So far the United States has stood at the front of such negotiations. She will, I earnestly hope and confidently believe, give fresh proof of her sincere adherence to the cause of international friendship by ratifying the several treaties of arbitration awaiting renewal by the Senate. In addition to these, it has been the privilege of the Department of State to gain the assent, in principle, of no less than 31 nations, representing four-fifths of the population of the world, to the negotiation of treaties by which it shall be agreed that whenever differences of interest or of policy arise which cannot be resolved by the ordinary processes of diplomacy they shall be publicly analyzed, discussed, and reported upon by a tribunal chosen by the parties before either nation determines its course of action."

Before 8 months had passed of the following year World War I had started and, before it was over, (According to Wikipedia) “the total number of deaths includes about 11 million military personnel and about 7 million civilians. The Triple Entente (also known as the Allies) lost about 6 million military personnel while the Central Powers lost about 4 million. At least 2 million died from diseases and 6 million went missing, presumed dead”.


Sometimes, when the Good Ole USofA is faced with a crisis, we will hear someone say, “The President need to make a speech about this dire situation”. If that happens again, don’t ask Woodrow Wilson to make that speech.


Start reading this book for free:


Would I kid u?


Thursday, September 22, 2016

Very Unsettling!

I saw where the former first string quarterback of the LSU Tigers has received a Death Threat over Social Media for the transgression (in the mind of the mental midget who socially made the social threat) of trying his best but his best was not good enough (in the mind of the mental midget who socially made the social threat).

Too bad Social Media was not around a few decades ago when this midget could have made more meaningful use of his Smartphone Pecking Skills...

Dear Mister Hitler,

I understand you have been killing millions of Jews, Catholics, Gypsies and Handicapped People. You are a terrible person and I am going to come over there and kill you.


Mental Midget from the Future


Now that would have been a Tweet worth Tweeting!

Instead we have this kind of idiocy being transmitted through Social Media...

Dear Mister Quarterback,

I saw you miss the wide open receiver. I’m going to kill you.


Mental Midget Long Time Fan

(Or should that be, Long Time Mental Midget Fan?)


The Late Paul Harvey just came into my computer pecking room and told me to tell my dear readers that the wide open receiver ran the wrong route.


Would I kid u?



Lagniappe: Say a prayer that the LSU Quarterback pays as much attention to this threat as Hitler would have paid to his.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Change Partners

I’ve always liked Frank Sinatra. Too bad he died without knowing how much I enjoyed his singing.


One of his lesser known ballads was Change Partners. In the world of Modern “Musical” Entertainment, that title would certainly indicate something nasty but Frank’s songs were not nasty.


Change Partners tells this story...

·       Frank has fallen in love with a lady that is dancing repeatedly with the same dance partner.

·        Frank is dying to get a chance to dance with his new dancing love who does not know that she loves him too.

·        He just knows that, if she would dance with him one single time, she would fall in love with him and they would dance together forever (live happily ever after).

·        He comes up with the idea of tipping a ballroom attendant to tell the dancing guy that he has a phone call.

·        While the dancing guy is going to answer the phone call in the lobby, Frank will ask his future wife to dance (see #3 bullet above).


We in Modern World sometimes have trouble understanding Pre-Modern World. That means several of my dear readers just said to themselves, “Why did he not just answer his cell phone?”


Actually, I'm in Modern World and, in this case, I didn’t see the Modern World as it really is either. Do you see what’s wrong with my picture of these two marathon dancing partners dancing in Modern World? 


Ah Ha! Two of my dear readers are coming around to my way of thinking, seeing and noticing because two of you just said, “In Modern World both the dancing partners would be dancing and talking on their cell phones at the same time.


I’m so proud of two of you!


Would I kid u?


Monday, September 12, 2016

Here I Go Noticing Again

The other day I used my Noticing Skills while one of the Presidential Candidates was at a podium making a speech. What did I Notice? I’m so glad you asked.

It was not the candidate that caught my attention but the people who were standing behind the candidate (there are almost always people standing behind speaking politicians nowadays). I Noticed that most of them were all taking pictures of the candidate with their cell phones.


Did I just hear you say that taking pictures of candidates is nothing unusual and I am wasting a Fella Noticed Commentary on this one?

Actually I am not wasting my time. Did you not take note of where the behind people were? That’s right they were behind the candidate. That means they were feverously taking picture of the back of the head of the candidate.


There are lots of things wrong with us and this is not earthshaking but it is silly.


This is the kind of thing we need to nip in the bud before it grows into something sillier.

Next thing you know we will be responding to requests for a Photo ID by whipping out our Drivers License with a picture of the back of our heads on it.


OK, I got carried away again...Or did I?


Would I kid u?


Saturday, September 10, 2016

I Have Moved On From Noticing Things To Quibbling About Things. Should I Consider This Progress?

First Quibble...

Gun, bomb attack on American University in Kabul kills 13

 “KABUL (Reuters) - Thirteen people, including students and a professor, were killed in an attack on the American University in Kabul that had students leaping from the windows in panic, the Afghan government said on Thursday.

The attack began on Wednesday evening with a large explosion from what officials said was a car bomb followed by gunfire, as suspected militants stormed into the complex where foreign staff and pupils were working.”

Do you see my Quibble? You don’t? Go back and read it again. I’ll click here and wait... Waiting Music


You still don’t see my quibble words? Unbelievable!


Let me recap the violent keywords in the excerpt above...Gun, Bomb Attack, Kills 13, Large Explosion, Car Bomb, Gunfire and Stormed Into.


I give up on you. After all this time of my trying to improve your powers of observation, I am forced to feed you the Key Quibble Words...”Suspected Militants”. These bad guys are only suspected of being militants?!


I’m sure, you feel ashamed of yourself now.


Second Quibble...

‘Breaking Bad’ Actor RJ Mitte: We Need More Disabled People Working in TV

“LOS ANGELES— “Breaking Bad” star RJ Mitte stated in an interview with the Irish Examiner on Wednesday that there isn’t enough exposure for disabled actors in the film and TV industry. The American actor, who himself is diagnosed with cerebral palsy, believes that disabled figures in the media should receive as much screen time as able-bodied actors.”


I must not understand what this Mitte guy (whoever that is) is getting at. Is he saying that half of all actors have to be disabled? Is that realistic? Is that reflective of the makeup of the population in general? Is he nuts?


What’s next?...

Ø In all Movies and TV Shows actors with Spaces Between Their Front Teeth must have screen time equal to actors without Spaces Between Their front Teeth.

Ø If there cannot be found enough Spaced Teeth Actors, should Non-Spaced Teeth Actors be required to have their teeth spaced before they can renew their actor license?

Ø Should actors who, as children, had their spaces removed with braces be required to have the spaces put back?


Don’t laugh. These are serious questions.


Would I kid u?


Tuesday, September 06, 2016

Useless Inventions

A few nights ago I watched a very informative documentary on TV about Thomas Edison. Wow! Now there was an inventor! He really was into the Invention Business big time!

We don’t see the likes of him around much anymore. I have been looking at Inventions/Innovations we are all familiar with, provided you are of my age, and I am amazed that anyone paid any attention to what these people came up with...


Ø Wires... For the life of me, I can’t understand why anyone would bother draping wire between their electronic equipment. That’s what Bluetooth is for! Why did we not always just use Bluetooth? Instead, we have been tripping over and untangling wires all these many years. Unconscionable!

Ø Paper Highway Maps... I realize that Gas Stations used to give them to us for free but that does not make it any better. Why did we not just use our GPS? I can see that you are dumbfounded trying to come up with a logical reason why we would not just simply use our GPS Systems but, don’t waste your time, there is none! Besides, think of all the trees we killed making those useless maps. It’s a wonder there are any trees left at all.

Ø Phone Booths... These things used to be everywhere. What a waste! Did you ever see anyone take their cell phones into a phone booth to make a call? I never did. And furthermore, the automobile is the perfect Phone Booth. It is comfortable, you getting to where you want to go as you use it and nobody has been peeing in your car!


Oh well, I guess I don’t have to understand everything.


Would I kid u?


Sunday, September 04, 2016

Following North Korea’s Lead

The U.S. Government has just announced that its official posture towards North Korea has changed from Awfully Awful Place to Live to Wonderful Inviting Place to Live.


You don’t think this is important, interesting or believable news? Are you thinking you are going to pass on the rest of this posting? You better think again! Depending on your posture, this may be the most important Foolishness...Or Is It? that you have ever read!


This is especially true if you are one of the many who think that the only danger of falling asleep while sitting up straight is that your head might slump forward and knock your fruit loops out of your hand. If you nod off at the wrong time in the future you may be in imminent danger of losing your life!


Listen to this 30-second news clip to understand why I pecked out this warning...

(If this link will not open: Highlight it, Right-Click it, Copy it, Open a new tab or browser & Paste it into your URL Address Bar. I don’t know why you have to do this either.)


Now you understand why this new desire for the Good Ole USofA to be more like the Democratic People's Republic of Korea is quite possibly the most important news of the day!


Would I kid u?



Lagniappe: Why is it that Communist Countries so often use the words “Republic” and “Democratic” in their names?

·        North Korea... The Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

·        China... The People's Republic of China.

·        Romania... Romanian People’s Republic.

·        Czechoslovakia... The Czechoslovak Socialist Republic.

·        East Germany... The German Democratic Republic.

·        Et Cetera.