Maybe the Subject of this Blog Posting could have been... I Need To Know Everything! ... Except This Stuff!
At present we are covered up with news about the awful Los
Angeles Wildfires. Don’t get me wrong, This Is Big News but It’s Not The only
News Out There.
Think back. What was the only thing on the news before the Wildfires
started? Do you remember? I do. It was the New Orleans Terror Attack. That
story completely dominated the news. It was so strong that the bullet pointed stories
below completely disappeared...
Ø
Putin.
Ø
Xi Jinping.
Ø
All those award shows on TV.
Ø
Football Games...OK Football Games are not
completely out of the news, however, I bet deep down the TV Executives are
wishing they could get rid of these Football Interruptions to the Wildfire News but,
because they are afraid they will be shot in the back as they walk to work in
New York City, they permit the games to continue to be broadcast.
Ø
The Drone Flights that we used to hear about
every day and night.
Ø
Ukraine.
Ø
Israel and Gaza.
These things (except Football) are Old News ... Old and Forgotten News.
************
This morning, this kind of Foolishness hit me harder than
ever. I was grumbling about the Awful Wildfires when I Noticed these tidbits of
useless information. (You do remember, I’m The Noticer, do you not?)
I was doing something I hardly ever do. Normally, if I want
to know what the weather is like, I stick my head out of a window but today I
looked at the weather report on my phone. Here is the Silliness I found...
Ø
It gave me the Temperature Forecast (This is
important because it lets me know if I should put on a coat).
Ø It gave me the Precipitation Forecast (This is important because it lets me know if I should put on a raincoat, take my umbrella or put on my galoshes).
Ø
It told me about the Cloud Forecast (Waste of my
time. What am I going to do
about this?).
Ø
It told me about the Wind Forecast (Waste of my
time. What am I going to
do about this?).
Ø
It told me about the Air Quality Forecast (Waste
of my time. What am I
going to do about this?).
Ø
It told me about the Outdoor Sports Forecast
(Huh?).
Ø
It told me about the Pollen Forecast (Waste of
my time. What am I going
to do about this?).
Ø
It told me about the Hurricane Forecast (A blank
map of the Good Ole USofA).
Ø It told me about the Lighting Forecast (Waste of my time. What am I going to do about this?).
Ø
It told me about the UV Forecast (Waste of my
time. What am I going to
do about this?).
Ø
It told me about what the Sun and Moon were
doing today and where they were going to be at different times during the day
(Waste of my time. What
am I going to do about this?).
Ø
It gave me a Fire Forecast. Without a doubt this
was included because of all the interest in the Wildfires in California...The
Fire Forecast Was That There Was No Need To Be Concerned About Fire Danger Where I
Live Because There Was a Very Low Risk of Fire Danger Where I Live Because the
Closest Wildfire Was 705 Miles Away.
Even at this great distance I was still a bit uneasy
because of all the California Wildfire coverage of late. After all, in
California they have shown me that Wildfire Sparks can leap tall buildings at a
single bound. 705 miles started to feel like it was right next door.
So, I looked up where that 705 Mile-Away
Fire actually was. After doing this I felt better when I found out the 705 Mile-Away Fire actually was in the Bahamas. Somehow, a whole bunch of the
Atlantic Ocean seemed like a harder jump than a tall building.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
Lagniappe: Back to the Lightning Strike Forecast. It was: “Closest strike in the
last 30 minutes was 1965 miles away”. Since I was so relieved about the
Wildfires being 705 miles away, I now had some unused worry space in me to
become concerned a bit more about the 1965 Miles Away Lightning
Strikes. After all, we have to worry about something. The Weather Bureau
demands it of us.
