I Didn’t Write This But I Wish I Had

God Made A Plan. It Was A Good Plan. Then Man Changed God’s Plan. It Has Been A Continuing Downhill Slide Ever Since.

As silly as this Blog Posting may sound, this is exactly what we do!

GOD to ST. FRANCIS:
   Frank, you know all about gardens and nature.  What in the world is going on down there on the planet?   What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago?   I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan.  Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon.  The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds.  I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now but all I see are these green rectangles.

St. FRANCIS:
   It's the tribes that settled there, Lord.  The Suburbanites.  They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD:
   Grass?  But, it's so boring.  It's not colorful.  It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees. It only attracts grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures.  Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS:

   Apparently so, Lord.  They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green.  They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD:
   The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast.  That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS:
   Apparently not, Lord.  As soon as it grows a little they cut it, sometimes twice a week.

GOD:
   They cut it?  Do they rake it up as hay to feed the animals of my creation?

ST. FRANCIS:
   Not exactly, Lord.  Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD:
   They bag it?  Why? Is it a cash crop?  Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS:
   No, Sir, just the opposite.  They pay to have it hauled it away.

GOD:
   Now, let me get this straight.  They fertilize grass so it will grow.  And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS:
   Yes, Sir.

 

GOD:
   These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat.  That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS:
   You aren't going to believe this, Lord.  When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD:
   What nonsense.  At least they kept some of the trees.  That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.  The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer.  In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes.  It's a natural cycle of life.

ST. FRANCIS:
   You better sit down, Lord.  The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle.  As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away too.

GOD:
   No!?  What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS:
   After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch.  They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD:
   And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS:
   They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD:
   Enough!  I don't want to think about this anymore.  St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts.  What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE:
   'Dumb and Dumber', Lord.  It's a story about....

GOD:
   Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

Would God or St. Francis or I Kid u?

Smartfella

Lying Is Bad...Or is it?

This Blog Posting won’t take long...

Ø Perjury and lying to the federal government are both crimes that could land a person in some serious legal trouble.

Ø If convicted of either crime, a person could be sentenced to up to five years in prison.

Ø This means that if a person is found to have lied during a congressional hearing or investigation, or simply lied to an FBI or other federal agent, actual jail time could result.

That having been said, Fella has this to say...

Why Is Lying To Congress A Crime but Lying While Serving In Congress Not A Crime?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

You Need Some Inspiration? Go For It But It Ain’t Easy.

 

Did you just say to yourself, “Self, I think I need a pick me up! I’m going to go to my local Big Box Big Store and buy an Inspirational Book about Inspiring Stuff”.

Actually, I did not say this to myself but I did stumble across my Big Box Big Store’s Hidden Supply of Inspirational Books by accident as I was looking for the Rest Room and this Blog Posting will give you a heads-up if you decide you need to be inspired...

(You might have to click the link twice.)

If you are looking for my Big Box Big Store’s display of Inspirational Sex Books, you will be able to find them along the Store’s Center Aisle. You can’t miss the display. It’s the one with the Flashing Red Lights with the two associates (formally known as employees) giving out Cheese Dip Covered Crackers.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

If You Invent Something That Will Save 100’s of Thousands Of Lives, the World Will Love and Admire You

With Reference to the Title Of This Blog Posting, Fella says to you, “Don’t count on it”.

You say to Fella, “Well, at least, you will be rich”.

Fella says to you, “Don’t count on it”.

If someone today uses the word “Polio” that someone is likely to hear the response, “What is that?”

Polio is an illness caused by a virus that mainly affects nerves in the spinal cord or brain stem. In its most severe form, polio can lead to a person being unable to move certain limbs, also called paralysis. It can also lead to trouble breathing and sometimes death.

Dr. Jonas Salk invented the first vaccine that was effective to treat and prevent Polio...

Ø Polio affected over 15,000 Americans per year at its peak in the 1950s.

Ø Less than a decade after the vaccine was declared safe and effective, the number of polio cases in the United States had dropped to under 1,000. 

Ø Dr. Salk's valuable work did provide him with some comfortable monetary compensation.

Ø He was worth an estimated $3 million at the time of his death in 1995.

Ø However, none of his wealth came from his most famous discovery.

Ø Dr. Salk chose never to patent his polio vaccine because he believed the lifesaving vaccine should be widely distributed to everyone, so he wanted to ensure the vaccine was freely available for anyone to receive.

Ø As a result, Salk made no profit from his most famous scientific discovery.

Ø His net worth likely would have been much higher, had he chosen to patent the polio vaccine.

Ø According to calculations made by Forbes, Dr. Salk sacrificed the opportunity to become around $7 billion richer, had he chosen to patent his work.

Ø By the time he died, at the age of 80, over 30 million children had received the polio vaccine, and the disease had been all but eradicated as a childhood illness in the United States.

Ø The New York Times wrote, "Salk is profoundly disturbed by the torrent of fame that has descended upon him. ... He talks continually about getting out of the limelight and back to his laboratory ... because of his genuine distaste for publicity, which he believes is inappropriate for a scientist."

Ø He enjoys talking to people he likes, and "he likes a lot of people", wrote the Times. "He talks quickly, articulately, and often in complete paragraphs."

Ø "He has very little perceptible interest in the things that interest most people—such as making money."

^Ø   He said, “That belongs in the category of mink coats and Cadillacs—unnecessary".

^Ø   The day after his graduation from medical school in 1939, Salk married Donna Lindsay, a master's candidate at the New York College of Social Work.

^Ø   Donna's father, Elmer Lindsay, "a wealthy Manhattan dentist, viewed Salk as a social inferior, several cuts below Donna's former suitors."

Eventually, her father agreed to the marriage on two conditions: first, Salk must wait until he could be listed as an official M.D. on the wedding invitations, and second, he must improve his "rather pedestrian status" by giving himself a middle name.

************

You would think that the man who developed the vaccine for polio would be celebrated and showered with awards. In reality, Dr. Salk, who did become a celebrity of sorts, was disliked by his peers and was even denied a Nobel Prize...

Ø Even before the polio vaccine was approved, other scientists questioned Dr. Salk's abilities.

Ø The scientist Dr. Albert Sabin, who created an oral polio vaccine, admitted that Dr. Salk's discovery was groundbreaking, before tearing into Dr. Salk's findings and methods.

Ø Many researchers felt Dr. Salk's constant appearances on radio and TV talking about his vaccine was a sign of a glory hound...

Remember above one of my Bullet Points made the Point about his being a “Glory Hound”, “Dr. Salk chose never to patent his polio vaccine because he believed the lifesaving vaccine should be widely distributed to everyone, so he wanted to ensure the vaccine was freely available for anyone to receive.

Ø Scientists began to mockingly call the vaccine the “Salk Vaccine”, attaching his name to it in case it failed.

Ø Dr. Sabin claimed Dr. Salk's version of the vaccine wouldn't confer long-term immunity.

Ø Some gossip mongers would later say the trial was dangerous and the vaccine could potentially kill its subjects.

Ø There were reports of patients developing paralytic polio during the trials caused by improperly prepared shots.

Ø Despite developing the first polio vaccine and becoming a celebrity, Dr. Salk was never honored for his discovery.

Ø He was denied entry into the National Academy of Sciences, of which Dr. Sabin became a member.

Ø Dr. Sabin later called Dr. Salk's vaccine as "kitchen work."

Ø Wanting to further work on biology and society, Dr. Salk established the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in San Diego, but even in his own institution, Dr. Salk was marginalized.

Ø The book Jonas Salk: A Life discussed how he was never again taken seriously as a scientist, even as he researched cures for AIDS and multiple sclerosis.

Ø He eventually saw his lab taken from him, and he was given a largely symbolic role in the organization bearing his name and he was paraded around for fund-raising purposes.

Dr. Salk died in 1995 from heart failure, before his vaccine would once again be celebrated.

************

Yea, this is more than you wanted to read about Jonas Salk but you are smarter for having read it...Or are u?

Ok, I’ll sum it up for you. If you come up with a great invention that is going to benefit all of mankind, save countless lives and you think it will make you rich beyond your wildest dreams...

Unless the Ilk of which you are is of the Jonas Salk Ilk.

Yes, I love using the word “Ilk” and, yes, I went out of my way to use it in this case.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella