I Told You So! ... Or Did I?

How many times have I told you that the teaching of Arithmetic is being neglected in the Good Ole USofA? Did you just say that I have never told you that the teaching of Arithmetic is being neglected in the Good Ole USofA? Maybe I never have told you, but if I had told you, I would have told you and I would have been right to tell you.

 

This news story proves the point I may not have made to you. It comes from the state of West Virginia’s Penal System…

Ø An inmate escaped from jail by walking out of jail just before 6am on a Wednesday.

Ø It was not until the next evening at 7pm on Thursday that prison officials discovered he was gone.

 

There you have it! What’s that you say? Did you just say, “Have what?” You don’t see the Arithmetic Deficiency I am all agitated about. Oops! I guess I left out the reason I am agitated…

After he had left, and before he was discovered to have left, prison officials conducted 3 Formal Inmate Head Counts and 2 Informal Inmate Head Counts.

That, My Dear Readers, is a lack of Arithmetic Ability for sure!

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The Late Paul Harvey just looked over my shoulder and said, “Fella, tell them The Rest of the Story”…

The reporter who wrote this story was obviously enjoying his disdain for the prison official’s inability to count as he went on to report, “walked out of jail, giving himself at least a 36 hour head start”.

 

I have been known to be picky. Would you consider me too picky if I pointed out to the smug reporter that this Walking Inmate had at least a 37 hour head start?

 

No that would be too picky. I’m not going to make mention of it.

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Had the Walker Inmate remained in prison, we would certainly have seen more examples of Arithmetic Deficiency…

Ø The article said that on Friday the Walker was due to be sentenced to 3 to 20 years in prison.

Ø What probably would have ended up happening was he would have been sentenced to 2 years in prison.

Ø Then he would end up being released in 6 months.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Maybe there ought to be a law passed that there cannot be more than 20 inmates in any prison at any one time, unless and until they can find prison guards with more than 20 Fingers and Toes.

Intelligence Committees

I have come around to the point where I think it is an Insult to my Intelligence that our 9% Approval Rated Congress has Committees (1 in the Senate and 1 in the House) called the Intelligence Committee.

 

I think the Folks Back Home (that’s us) ought to demand that Congress be required by Federal Law to prove to us that these committees are, in fact, Intelligent!

 

Until such time as they have proven to us that they are Intelligent, they should be required to change their names to something more akin to the truth…

Ø Wild Guess Committee.

Ø Decision by Use A Dart Board Committee.

Ø As Long As We Use Big Words and Look Indignant They Will Continue To Vote For Us Committee.

 

This whole set up with Congress just does not seem fair. We constantly have to prove things to Congress…

Ø Must reveal to them how much money we make so they can take the maximum amount of our money away from us.

Ø Must testify to them that we do have Health Insurance or they will enact a Tax … or a Penalty … or a Tax/Penalty … or a Penalty/Tax upon us.

Ø We must notify them that we have died so they can stop sending us Social Security Checks, Disability Payments, Food Stamps, Aid To Dependent Children Payments, Housing Choice Voucher Program Payments, Unemployment Compensation Payments, Temporary Assistance for Needy Families Payments (TANF) (Formerly known as Welfare), Educational Assistance Payments, Federal Student Aid Payments, Job Training Financial Assistance Payments, Trade Readjustment Allowances (Income Support While Participating In Full-Time Training), Relocation Allowance Payments (If, after being re-trained, you have to move outside our normal commuting area), etc. etc. etc.

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I’ve asked this question before but this continues to confuse me…

Why is a Federal Crime to Lie to Congress but it is Not a Crime for Congress to Lie to Us?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Clear And Concise

On his first game back from suspension, one of our Kneeling Football “Heroes” recently told us in very clear and concise language (Or was it?) why he held up a Clenched Fist at the end of our National Anthem.

 

This is the kind of intelligent dialog (or is it?) that we need to hear or read about in order to come to a better understanding about what these Kneeling/Clenching Football Heroes (Or are they heroes?) are really thinking (Or are they thinking?).

 

Here is what he had to say…

“It’s just something that I do. I’ve got my morals. I’ve got my values and my things that I think about. I don’t want to cause no attention to nobody else and bring unwanted attention, but on the same token, you know, there’s certain things that people are doing it for. So, for me, it’s just one of those personal things that I do.”

(Don’t worry if you can’t understand what he is saying because he does not know what he is saying either.)

 

(Don’t worry if you can’t understand what I say in the paragraph below because, just for yucks, I used my Buzzword Generator.)

Now I am certain that all of you have a more profound understanding about his functional transitional mobility. Certainly he harbors deep systematized linguistic projections which roots certainly go back into insecurities he experienced in childhood but which have been magnified because of his deep compatible organizational contingencies. Once he become more secure in his responsive logistical concepts all will become clear as crystal…Or will it?

 

When this happens they are going to stand tall and put their hands over their hearts and act like patriotic grown-ups … Or will they? … Or are they?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: I hope you did not jump to any hasty conclusions about the Kneeler/Clencher’s Suspension. This guy certainly has a way with words and he explained his suspension in this Facebook Posting of his, “I would have never been suspended if I had not been caught doing what I did, which was certainly something worthy of suspension. My lawyers are working on having my being caughtness thrown out because it provided proof that I had done something suspendable. Once we are over that legal encomberence we are going after that newspaper that published the proof of my guilt. If I had found evidence of something that the newspaper had done that was wrong I would have not been able to publish it in my newspaper because I don’t have a newspaper because I am not a newspaper. Does that sound fair to you?”

 

The saddest part in that 2,973 Sitting Judges across the Fruited Plain, upon reading the Kneeling/Clencher’s statement above, tweeted to each other, “You know he appears to have a valid point”.

Does Every Military Death Automatically Require A Congressional Investigation?

On October 4^th four of our Special Forces Soldiers were killed in Niger. Fingers are being pointed all over Washington. One prominent Senator is demanding answers as to why our troops were told that they should not expect hostile action on this mission which ended up being hostile.

This could be part of the answer… “…said the patrol that was attacked had completed 29 patrols in the area without contact with hostile fighters over the previous six months or so and there was no indication an attack would occur on October 4.”

 

It should be pointed out to all who are Pointing and Demanding that this is not the first time and will not be the last time when our military will find themselves immersed in an ambush because an ambush, by definition, is something not expected, otherwise it would be called an appointment.

 

Did the full Pre-Mission Instructions say to our soldiers?…

“We do not expect nay we guarantee nay we will not accept an ambush from the enemy on this patrol! We are so sure that this will be a non-combat operation that we are directing all of you to leave your weapons behind and bouquets of flowers will be issued to each of you as you enter your transportation vehicle. You are authorized to use the flowers in any manner you deem necessary or appropriate.”

I’m on a roll here…

I read in my newspaper the following…

“Multiple U.S. officials have described to CNN a scene of confusion on the ground during the unexpected firefight”.

 

What? We have got to get to the bottom of this! We have never experienced confusion in our firefights before!

 

Medical Evacuation Missions in my day, and continuing to the present day, routinely are summoned to pick up sites that were reported to be “secure” which proved to be anything but secure.

 

Put out a bulletin at once to all Medical Evacuation Pilots everywhere…

If you are shot at on any mission where you had been told that you would not be shot at, you are to immediately contact your congressional representative and demand an investigation nay demand congressional hearings be conducted nay contact your lawyer and sue those responsible.”

The problem with the suing part above is the bad guys (those responsible) very seldom make a practice of hanging around or leaving their calling card so the offended pilots and crew can have their lawyers contact their lawyers.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Hysteria Beating Logical Discourse Into Submission

It makes my brain hurt to think about all the Really Important Issues that were not being acted upon across the fruited plain when State and City Governments (and ESPN) were spending so much of their time wrestling with Confederate Statues.

 

Let’s talk about Robert E. Lee and why he was not nice…

Ø Robert E. Lee commanded the Army of Northern Virginia during our Civil War.

Ø Robert E. Lee was an important figure is a movement to withdraw the Confederate States of America from the United States of America.

Ø If Robert E. Lee and the South had won the Civil War, Slavery would have continued in the Confederate States of America for a time.

Ø Slavery was not nice.

Ø Therefore Robert E. Lee was not nice.

Bottom line…Remove all Statues of Robert E. Lee.

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What started all this consternation was the removal of 4 Confederate Statues in New Orleans, LA. The most famous of these monuments was the Statue of Robert E. Lee in Lee Circle. The statue has been there since 1884. That’s a total of 133 years. For the most part it has been ignored for about 125 of those 133 years.

 

Could it be that our Politically Correct Decision Makers are too Single Issue Oriented? Before making final Removal Decisions all aspects of the Offending Statue ought to be taken into consideration. Blue Ribbon Committees ought to be appointed to make up a list of Good and Bad Things that the Offending Statue did to justify its designation as an Offending Statue.

 

If the list ends up with one more good thing than bad thing, the statue should stay. If the list comes up with one more bad thing than good thing, the statue should go.

 

Good Things Done by Robert E. Lee’s Statue…

Ø Robert E. Lee saw a bunch of bullies taunting a person with a space between his front teeth for having a space between his front teeth and he shouted at the bullies, “Stop That!”.

Ø He once helped a little old lady across street

Ø He was heard whistling Yankee Doodle Dandy while playing Croquet.

 

Bad Things Done by Robert E. Lee’s Statue …

Ø He dipped Emma Lou Culpepper’s pig tail in his ink well in the second grade.

Ø He called a returning Vietnam War Veteran a Baby Killer.

 

The actual list would be much longer but I feel this illustrates my point very nicely. You certainly have noted that there is One More Good Thing on these lists than there are Bad Things on these lists, therefore, His Statue Is Not An Offending Statue and It Should Remain where the pigeons can find it.

 

Most of us (I have long since stopped saying “All of us” because that is modern-day impossible) can see how monumentally unfair it would have been to take down his statue only because of what he did to Emma Lou’s Pigtail.

 

No one could possibly argue with this logic… Or could they?

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Since this horse is not dead, I’m going to stay on it a little longer.

ESPN removed an Asian Football Announcer from the broadcast of the William and Mary at University of Virginia college football game because his name was Robert Lee.

 

This thorny issue is addressed very nicely in an article at the following link… https://www.outkickthecoverage.com/msespn-pulls-asian-announcer-named-robert-lee-off-uva-game-avoid-offending-idiots/

 

My favorite part of the article is the words above the picture of this Offending Robert and his Co-Announcer (What you did not see the picture. That’s not my fault. I told you to read the article.)…

“But just to make it clear for everyone out there, the Asian man on the right is not long deceased Confederate General Robert E. Lee. He’s a different person entirely, one that is still alive and did not fight in the Civil War”.

That ought to do it… Or will it?

 

My honest opinion is this Offending Robert ought to have been banned from the broadcast because of his haircut (What you did not see the haircut? That’s not my fault. I told you to read the article.).

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: In order to err on the side of caution and in an attempt to prevent this type of controversy in the future, I think we ought to ban the immigration of all Asians with the last name “Lee”. No one could possibly argue with this logic…Or could they?

 

Lagniappe More: I have too many “Or’s” in this Blog Posting… Or do I?

We Are Being Led By A Mad Man!

I am sorry if you got excited because you thought the Mad Man in the Subject above was President Trump and you do not like President Trump so you were glad I was calling President Trump a Mad Man but the Mad Man I am referring to is not President Trump.

 

The Mad Man I am referring to is General George Washington.

 

This Foolishness…Or Is It is about to turn into a History Lesson without much, if any, Foolishness…

 

General Washington probably was labeled a Mad Man by those who knew what was really happening to the American Revolution at the point in the war where he decided to Cross the Delaware River.

 

At that point in our War for Independence the odds were against winning the war. The odds were so against winning that any sane General Who Knew Anything About Being A Not Insane General would have given up and gone back to the farm (provided he were not hung by the neck until dead for Treason by the British)…

Ø At this point Washington was disgusted with lots of things…
>The Weather
>The Clock
>His Subordinates
>His Army
>His Government
>Himself

Ø He was also mad about lots of things…
>The Pretentious European Officers under his command who were continually trying to stab him in the back.
>Those Cautious Councils of War all around him.
>Being Ridiculed by his Enemies.
>Mostly he was mad about Losing Every Battle he had Fought.

Ø The colonies had created a Continental Army of 20,000 men on January 1, 1776.

Ø Washington had taken that army to New York City and it had gotten caught in the meat grinder called the British Army (the most professional and best trained army on the planet).

Ø It was only because of a crazy desperate plan he concocted and unexplained weather happenings (many have called it a miracle) that his army was saved from complete annihilation.

Ø He was trying to fight a war against the British Army which had written the book on Military Operations during that century.

Ø When caught in the open, without earthworks for protection, his amateur soldiers did not stand a chance.

Ø His army was best at running away from battles.

Ø His army was getting smaller due to deaths in battles and also because day after day, mile after mile, they fell back, and for every hour spent in retreat, soldiers slipped away and went back home.

Ø All of them would be going home soon because, this was late December, and on December 31st their enlistments would expire.

Ø He was about to not have an army at all.

Ø As the remaining days of his soldiers’ enlistment trickled down to zero, Crazy George managed to regroup all the men under his command.

Ø With some 6,000 men under his control, he conceived an insane plan that he thought might revive the spirits of both his Army and the Nation.

Ø General Horatio Gates was second in command of the Patriot Forces and he was not near as crazy as George.

Ø Gates pointed out that Crazy George was proposing to have three widely separated bodies of men, most of whom lacked proper training, experience and discipline, cross a wide river choked with ice, and make a converging attack on a force of veteran professional soldiers.

Ø He judged this whole attack plan to be crazy suicidal.

Ø Gates was determined not to be seen as crazy as George so he reported himself sick and rode off to Philadelphia.

Ø Crazy George felt he had listened to his subordinates before and that they were lacking in the determination necessary to win the war. But what did he know? He was crazy and they were not crazy.

Ø On this occasion Crazy Ole George decided he was going to listen to his Crazy Ole Self.

Ø On Christmas Eve Night Crazy George called together his officers and revealed his nutty plan.

Ø As the officers left the meeting in the early hours of Christmas Day, they found snow falling and large cakes if ice swirling in the current of the river.

Ø There was little to celebrate on that Christmas Day because there was little food but the citizens of Philadelphia had sent out a couple of wagons filled with old clothes to supplement the Army’s ragged uniforms.

Ø At dark on Christmas Day the Army started crossing the river.

Ø As they headed toward the boats, freezing rain soaked them.

Ø What mad man had come up with this idea?

Ø Many were thinking why did Crazy George wait till darkness was upon them to start his boat ride because now they were stumbling around and bumping into each other trying to find and climb into the boats.

Ø Because of the darkness and confusion the entire crazy operation fell behind schedule.

Ø As the night wore on and daylight was approaching, they were all thinking that their chance of surprising the Hessians was fast slipping away.

Ø It was heavy on their minds that Crazy George was about to secure another major defeat because of his Crazy Idea.

Ø Crazy George was aware that many of his men saw him as nothing more than an aloof, fox-hunting Virginia Aristocrat.

Ø He would have felt worse if he knew that they saw him as nothing more than an aloof, fox-hunting Insane Virginia Aristocrat.

Ø After crossing they still had to march 9 miles to attack Trenton.

 

Since this is near the bottom, I’ll give you the Bottom Line…Crazy George’s Insane Plan Worked like a Charm, and on that night, Crazy Insane General George Washington took a big step toward transitioning from Nut towards becoming a Military Genius.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Thomas Paine was not in those boats but his words published only 6 days before the General’s Boat Ride were there, “THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated.”

 

Lagniappe Again: There probably were no NFL Football “Heroes” in those boats with Crazy George.

Who Cares?

We (not me) are obsessed with Facebook. We (not me) think the world is just dying to know…

Ø We had a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich for lunch…Who Cares?

Ø We might go shopping this afternoon. On the other hand we may not go shopping this afternoon. Rest assured, once we make up our mind about going shopping, we will be sure to post the decision to go or not to go shopping on Facebook…Who Cares?

Ø The people in Busockistan are having a hard time getting an adequate supply of Local Honey. We think that our Congress ought to allocate funding to increase their availability of Local Honey. Congress ought to get to work on this unnecessary project as soon as they finish not working on all those worthy projects they are not working on…Who Cares?

 

What kicked off this tirade? It was the Bumper Sticker I just saw which read…

Proud Owner of a Rescued Dog

It truly must make that Rescued Dog proud to know that its Rescuer Person is Proud.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Sheila Jackson You-Gotta-Be-Kidding Lee

Don’t blame me. I copied this from the Internet (we all know that the Internet never lies) about Shelia Jackson Lee. Actually I could have copied a lot more about her but, by the time you read all of what I did copy, you are going to be tired of Lee & Me…

2010…

Sheila Jackson Lee won the general election with 70 percent of the vote, the lowest winning percent of her career.

Staff turnover…

In 2011 she was reported to have one of the highest staff turnovers in Congress and to be one of the worst bosses.

Ø The Huffington Post and The Houston Chronicle reported that she had gone through 11 chiefs of staff in 11 years.

Ø In 2011 she was named as one of the "worst bosses in Washington" by The Daily Caller.

Ø The Huffington Post stated that "Jackson Lee regularly appears on Washingtonian Magazine's list of the “Best and Worst of Congress” as the “meanest” member of House of Representatives."

Ø In 2012 Washingtonian again listed her as the meanest member of the House.

Ø A report in 2013 concluded that "the veteran Texas Democrat had the highest turnover rate for all of Congress over the past decade".

Foreign Policy…

Sheila Jackson Lee has urged better relations between the U.S. and Venezuela…

Ø She describes Venezuela as a friendly nation.

Ø She said the U.S. should reconsider its ban on selling F-16 fighter jets and spare parts to Venezuela.

The U.S. State Department bans such sales due to "lack of support" for counter-terrorist operations and Venezuela's relations with Iran and Cuba.

Homicides…

Ø Sheila Jackson Lee [D-Houston] held an informal press conference announcing that her administration, through great efforts and much expense had completed a decade-old study that focused on the cause of murders in the United States.

Ø Sheila Jackson Lee was reported as saying that the results were predominantly leaning towards “homicide” as being the primary cause for the murders.

The congresswoman was quoted as saying,

“Datas (sic) (*See below) uncover (sic) today give us a clearer portrait of a couple of possible cause (sic) for murder, but let’s be clear.. Changes in the atmospheres (sic) and combustibles (sic) also play a roles (sic) in how peoples (sic) are behave (sic). By continuing homicide (sic) and climate changes (sic) we are ascend (sic) ourselves to vulnables (sic), and we cannot deny that, Nor shall we, Nor shall I, Nor shall we all, So say we all (sic). End homicide and end climate change, and we end murder. THIS, we know.”

*Sic (adverb) … Thus or So, used within brackets to indicate that what precedes it is written intentionally or is copied verbatim from the original, even if it appears to be a mistake.

Hurricane Names…

In July 2003, she criticized the weather establishment for its selection of names with which to christen hurricanes, stating that “All racial groups should be represented.” She went on to express the hope that in the future such lists “would try to be inclusive of African American names” as well.

Hurricane Harvey…

Sheila Jackson Lee said, “Many people don’t know that Houston is 50′ below sea level and still flooding”.

(For the record, downtown Houston is somewhere between 43-53 feet ABOVE sea level.)

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If this Lee has a statue, maybe the voters of her district ought to strongly consider taking it down. I would not count on this happening. Do you remember the top of this Blog Posting?

2010…

Sheila Jackson Lee won the general election with 70 percent of the vote, the lowest winning percent of her career.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Pay Attention To Words

I was in a Coffee Shop and I am trying to get information about those 20+ kinds of Coffee Concoctions that are shown on the menu board behind the “Coffee Expert” who is trained to Take My Money.

 

I am probing a Latte and whether I should pay an extra dollar to get an extra shot of Espresso. The “Coffee Expert” says to me, “I think a Latte has two shots in it”.

 

Did you get key words in what she said? Of course, they are “I Think”…

• Is she guessing?
• Should she have studied up before I arrived?
• If she is not sure, should she not have asked the Barista who is 10 feet away from her, how many shots there are in a Latte so she can share her vast store of knowledge with those Inquiring Minds that follow me?

 

She did none of this. She just stared at me waiting for me to give her my money, so she can do what she is good at doing…Taking My Money.

 

I have now activated your Reticular Activation System and you are going to start noticing how many times you are told by Money Taking Experts things like…

• I think it costs $5.98.
• I think we are open on Sunday.
• I think I wish you would stop asking me tough questions about which I am supposed to know the answers.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Fodder For This Blog Belongs To Jason L. Riley

Jason L. Riley is a writer for the Wall Street Journal. I don’t know why I have to say what I am about to say to make his sentiments more valid but in today’s world I have to… Jason L. Riley Is A Black Person.

 

There, I said it.

 

Quotes from Mr. Riley’s article, I Used to Sit for the National Anthem Too, in the Wall Street Journal dated 9/27/17 are…

(I did the underlining. I apologize for all the underlining but there was a lot of text in this article begging to be underlined.)

“The players have said they are protesting the unjust treatment of blacks by law enforcement and cite the spate of police shootings that have come to light in recent years…the larger question is whether what is being protested has some basis in reality beyond anecdotes and viral videos on social media.”

 

“There is no national database of police shootings—some departments report more-detailed data than others—but the statistics that are available suggest that police today use deadly force significantly less often than in the past. In New York City, home to the nation’s largest police force, officer-involved shootings have fallen by more than 90% since the early 1970s, and national trends have been similarly dramatic.”

 

The following is not Mr. Riley but Mr. Fella…

Ø It makes me wonder why all these football “heroes” are stirring up all this consternation.

Ø I wonder if any of these football “heroes” are wondering while they are protesting, “What the heck am I protesting about?”

 

If they read my Blog they might just be wondering about what I am wondering about.

 

Mr. Riley’s best line in his article is…

“An increase in press coverage of police shootings isn’t the same thing as an increase in police shootings.”

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella