Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Am I The Only One That Sees The Silliness?

Congress is getting accolades for coming up with a bill to “fix” our Veterans Administration. Here is a picture from my TV that shows their “fix”. Can you see the outrageous silliness?...


That’s a lot of money. Any member of congress who has been up there for one month can testify to the truth of this statement...

If we have a choice between fixing the problem and spending a lot of money, always choose the latter.

If we spent a lot of money and we did not fix the problem, the problem was we did not spend enough money.

After absorbing the above truth, look again at the picture. There is a line that jumped out at me. Do you see it? If you did not, don’t tell me. It would burst my bubble (whatever that means)…

It’s the $2 Billion for “Miscellaneous”.

That’s a lot of Mop & Glow!

Exactly how much Mop & Glow is that? That’s Two Thousand Million Dollars of Mop & Glow and Trinkets & Trash.

The Smartfella’s tried and true Congressional Rule of Thumb is, anything over $500 for Mop & Glow is too much.

What do you wanna bet that they zip right by their Two Thousand Million Dollars target (that’s right I said “target”) as if it was not even there?

The Late Gomer Pyle just came into my computer room, looked over my shoulder and said, “Surprise Surprise Surprise, I don’t see anything in there about cutting anything”.

If I were asked by any, yet to be fully indoctrinated member of Congress, “But, Smartfella, where do we look to make the cuts you are seeking?”, I would point him to info below for starters...

For the year 2013, government transparency database OpentheBooks.com reported that top doctors within the Arizona branch of the Department of Veterans Affairs were, on average, paid far more than other federal employees in the state.

Topping the list was Dr. George Swartz, who reportedly earned $357,528 last year. He was joined by 12 others whose salaries topped $300,000.

The highest-paid federal employee in Arizona not affiliated with the VA in 2013 was David M. Harmatz of the Department of Health and Human Services, who earned nearly $93,000 less than Swartz. In total, the top 44 salaries on the list went to individuals working within the VA.

Would I kid u?



Lagniappe: I jumped out of my chair when I saw this $2 Billion for Miscellaneous on TV last night. Within minutes Charles Krauthammer made comment on this silliness of this Silliness. What a guy! He is almost as sharp as The Fella!

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Every So Often We Get Into This Debate

I could have inserted “Never-Ending” before the word “Debate” in the above subject because this debate seems like it is never going to end. This blog posting ought to end this never-ending debate, once and for all...

Humane Capital Punishment

I just read an article entitled, “Bring Back the Firing Squad”. If you think I am going to devote precious Foolishness...Or Is It? space to discussing the good points and bad points of Firing Squads or Hanging or Stoning or Lethal Injection or the Guillotine, you got another think coming.

The article in question was prompted by the recent Lethal Injection in Arizona that was intended to do away with an Arizona Certified Bad Guy with humane and painless efficiency. On this occasion, the Certified Bad Guy lay on the humane killing table for 1 hour and 40 minutes before he was certified as a Former Certified Bad Guy.

As usual, I have the remedy for the thorny issues I raise. In a plethora of movies and TV shows we have seen a wanna-kill-that-person person put poison into the soup that the about-to-be-dead other person is about to consume.

In a flash the person who drinks the Movie/TV Poison has his face fall into his soup because he has humanely and painlessly just become dead dead dead.

That’s the remedy…

We ought to use that Movie/TV Poison to get rid of our Certified Bad Guys

You have just read another example of the Smartfella’s, Simple Made Easy.

Glad I could help.

Would I kid u?



Thursday, July 24, 2014

Your Shopping Experience At Wal-Mart Is About To Get Even Better!

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart saving money by spending money and I was handed an Informational Flier by an employee associate. The flier had just been received from Wal-Mart’s CEO in Bentonville, Arkansas and the store manager was more than eager to get it into the hands of all money savers presently in the store.

The flier read...

We are always looking for ways to make your shopping experience more pleasurable. That’s why I have authorized the expenditure of $10,000,000 to buy and install nationwide a whole bunch of, “This Register Is Closed” signs.

Not only does Wal-Mart save you money but now you will be more quickly directed to the few registers we have opened for you shopping convenience.

Would I kid u?



Monday, July 21, 2014

$3.7 Billion Dollars Is Not Much When You Consider All The Awfulness Out There

My awful statistics quoted in this blog posting are not my awful statistics. I lifted them from a columnist by the name of Esther Cepeda. Her awful statistics describe present day Guatemala, Honduras & El Salvador and her awful statistics accumulation shows no sign of getting better and every sign of getting worse.

The Awful Truth...

  • Bloodshed, gang intimidation, drug wars, robbery, rape, murder of children in the streets and widespread dropping out of school because of belief in certain death at a young age are all a fact of everyday life.
  • Among the casualties during a mild mid-July weekend were three killed and at least 24 others wounded by gunshots, many of them teens. If we took it back to the prior Wednesday, we need add in a pregnant mother of five was shot in her head while driving her minivan down a street.
  • It is common to have toddlers beaten to death and their tiny bodies sometimes set on fire.
  • Public school education is a joke, there are no jobs, there are no opportunities and there sure isn’t much hope.
  • It is estimated that the cost of gun violence is about $1 million per gunshot injury. This estimate takes into account police time, medical cost, court costs and decreased tourism revenue from bad publicity.
  • There were about 3,500 shootings in 2013, most were driven by desperation.

I can see you shaking your head in agreement that the 3.7 Billion Dollars needs to be spent and, even that huge sum, may not be enough.

My heavens! I made an awful mistake! I misread Esther Cepeda’s awful statistics. This awful situation I described above does not describe Guatemala, Honduras & El Salvador. It describes the Ongoing Awfulness of Chicago.

How could I be so careless? I’ve got to start reading what I read more carefully.

Would I kid u?



Lagniappe: Did you read the 6 bullet points too fast? To get the full impact, you might want to go back and read them slowly and carefully. Let the awfulness sink in.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

What The World Needs Is Lots Of Pitched Battles

All over the world countries without the ability to design and build Major Weapons of Destruction are using Major Weapons of Destruction to kill their fellow man.

How is this happening? If they can’t design and build such things they ought not to be able to use such things but every day they are shooting and dropping such things at and on others.

This happens because the countries that have the ability to design and build Major Weapons of Destruction are selling or giving these awful weapons to the have not’s of the world.

It appears that we have evolved into a new modern principle of fairness…

Everyone Has An Innate Right To Be Able To Kill Other People In Bunches

Allow me to paint a world where the Designer/Builder Nations did not allow their evil creations to be disseminated to little evil people...

The angry little nations/movements would have to resort to their own meager resources to destroy each other. This means they would have to throw rocks at them, hit them with sticks or stick them with pitchforks.

(Did you catch the use of the words in the subject of this Foolishness...Or Is It? ... “pitched battles”? Pitchforks ... Pitched Battles ... Get it? Pretty clever of me don’t you think?)

This could actually be an economic boom to the world...

  • Word could be put out that a battle was going to take place at a certain designated battlefield.
  • The Battle Watchers would have to get to the Battle Site. This would stimulate revenue for the airline industry, train transportation and rent-a-car companies.
  • The Battle Watchers would line up their canvas chairs along either side of the impending battle just like Soccer Parents all over the Good Ole USofA do every weekend. This would stimulate the canvas chair manufacturing business.
  • Local entrepreneurs could sell popcorn, candy, liquid refreshment to the world’s Battle Watchers to consume as they watched the battles.
  • The list could go on and on: Balloons, Tee Shirts, Hats, Pennants, etc..

Back in 1970 we had the film... clip_image002

I think I have clearly pecked out my argument in very clear language that, if we started having old fashioned kinds of wars, the world would beat a path to them and we would have what we all want so dearly, in these dire economic times, a Worldwide Economic Boom.

I’m sure you all agree...Or do you?

Would I kid u?



Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Absolute Disaster Multiple Choice Questions


The above picture is the result of a Major Catastrophic Event in this woman’s young life. She may never recover and deserves all our sympathy.

If it were not against current accepted practice in the Good Ole USofA, I would ask you to pray for her but I know better than to do such a thing. I really don’t know all of you that well and I can’t be sure whether or not some of you might report me.

What caused such grief? As I stated above, it certainly was a Major Catastrophic Event but what exactly was it?…

  • Was an Atomic Bomb was just dropped on her home town destroying it completely and killings all of its 63,212 inhabitants including her entire family?
  • Did her husband just drive off a 1,500 foot high cliff into a raging sea in her new Lexus?
  • Did she just drop a $5,000,000 Winning Lottery Ticket on the floor and was she sent into the throws of despair as her cute little white dog gulped it down as she screamed for it to stop gulping?
  • Did her Brazilian Soccer Team just lose its World Cup Soccer Match to eventual winner Germany?

Yes, it was the last bullet above. Such anguish! Such pain! It is hard for me to look at this picture of her anguish and pain! It is so unsettling to me that I can’t continue pecking at this Blog Posting and will have to forgo my sometimes nifty closing turn of phrase.

(I must have lied above because there are 2 Lagniappes below.)

Would I kid u?



Lagniappe 1: On second thought, this woman is a complete idiot! I am tempted to Tweet her and tell her to worry about something meaningful but, since I am not a Twit, I will not Tweet and someone else will have to tell her she needs to learn the difference between Fly Chit and Pepper.

Lagniappe 2: There were news reports after the match that 7 Brazilian Soccer Fans were killed in rioting. Many Members of Congress were watching the match in a Special Extended Happy Hour Session and 5 of them asked, when they heard the news flash about the dead Soccer Fans, “Just how many Million are there in a Brazilian?”