Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Winston Churchill Would Never Have Been Politically Corrected... Or Would He Have Been?

If Winston Churchill were still with us, do you think he would be forced to be Politically Correct? My first impulse would be to say that that would never happen but the forces of Political Correctness are very powerful. If he had been forced to do back then as we do today it would probably have looked like this.

Winston Churchill's Actual Directive to General Alexander Commander-in-Chief in the Middle East in August 1942...

1. Your prime and main duty will be to take or destroy at the earliest opportunity the German-Italian Army commanded by Field Marshal Rommel together with all its supplies and establishments in Egypt and Libya.

2. You will discharge or cause to be discharged such other duties as pertain to your command without prejudice to the task described at paragraph 1 which must be considered paramount in His Majesty’s interests.

Pretty straight forward and to the point, don’t you think?

Winston Churchill’s Politically Correct Directive to General Alexander Commander-in-Chief in the Middle East in 2014...

1. Your prime and main duty will be to take or destroy at the earliest opportunity all terrorist organizations throughout the Middle Eat commanded by al Qaeda, ISIS and any such other organization who’s intent is to do us harm together with all their supplies and establishments wherever they are located.

2. You will discharge or cause to be discharged such other duties as pertain to your command without prejudice to the task described in paragraph 1 above which must be considered paramount in Her Majesty’s interests.

3. Foremost you should remember that it is of paramount importance you must not make anyone mad at us.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(294)

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Bob Gates May Be Well Respected By Both The Right & The Left But His Parents Are In Deep Trouble

Kindle Location 281 of 11052 in former Secretary of Defense Bob Gates’ Book, “Duty”...

“I was a smart aleck, and when I sassed my mother, a backhand slap across the face was likely to follow quickly if my father was within earshot. My mother was expert at cutting a willow switch to use across the back of my bare legs when I misbehaved. The worst punishments were for lying. On those relatively infrequent occasions when I was disciplined, I’m confident I deserved it, though I felt deeply persecuted at the time. But their expectations and discipline taught me about consequence and taking responsibility for my actions.”

Today Secretary Gates’ Mother and Father would be in deep trouble once Little Bob’s Pediatric Lawyer reported their actions to the Authorities.

I can just hear the Presiding Judge admonishing them in open court, “It is not proper to Slap or Switch any child in this day and age in the Good Ole USofA but certainly not a Little Secretary of Defense”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(209)

Lagniappe: Did he say she used a Willow Switch? Don’t let Ray Rice see this.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Deciding Who To Vote For Is Easy… Or Is It?

Six of the reasons why people do not vote…

1. It was raining on voting day.

2. It was hot on voting day.

3. It was cold on voting day.

4. I don’t know the candidates.

5. The candidates don’t know me.

6. It is too confusing.

I am here to help you with #4 & #6 excuses above. It is really easy to get to know the candidates and to understand the issues. Go to your local newspaper and find an article that compares the candidates, make notes, study the notes and then you will become A Well Informed Voter.

Here is what my local research told me about our upcoming race for Governor.

One side Said…

  • Georgia has the highest unemployment rate — at 7.8 percent — of any state in the union apart from Mississippi.
  • 370,000 Georgians are looking for work right now.
  • There were 12,800 fewer jobs in July than in June.
  • These job losses are indicative of a negative trend.
  • We are reaping what we’ve sown on the state level.
  • Georgia has not fully recovered from the Recession.
  • Georgia is falling behind other states

The Other Side Said…

  • Georgia has had a strong record on job creation and has become the No. 1 place in the nation in which to do business.
  • The unemployment rate has gone down every year that our guy has been in office.
  • More than 273,000 jobs have been created in the state since our guy took office.
  • In raw numbers of jobs created, we’re No. 6 in the nation since our guy took over the helm.
  • Per capita, we’re in the top third in the nation.
  • The recent increase in the unemployment rate is typical for the summer in Georgia and is due in large part to the fact many school system employees do not get paid over 12 months as they do in other states.
  • Our unemployment rate is inflated because our labor pool continues to grow whereas in some other states it’s stagnating or declining.
  • People are moving to Georgia because they know it’s a place for economic opportunity.

See, I told you it was easy. Just figure out which one is lying and vote for the other guy.

Do you think I made this up? Check me out… http://www.gwinnettdailypost.com/news/2014/aug/20/political-notebook-carter-deal-put-different-spin/

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(524)

Lagniappe: I’ve touched on Staying Home On Voting Day Cuz It’s Raining before (#1 above)...

Let your mind wander with mine for a moment and see if you can hear one of George Washington’s confidants say the following…

By golly, General Washington, don’t feel bad. It really looked like it was going to rain. Yikes, ye ole weatherman had forecasted it was going to be a real frog strangler at Yorktown last week. What else could you have done but stay home and wait for the next time that the British would be trapped like they would have been trapped if only ye old weatherman had not given you such bad advice? Cheer up, old boy. You will get them next time for sure!

Monday, September 22, 2014

Federal Laws We Do Not Know Anything About

I have commented at least twice before about there being too many laws out there.

Did I just hear you say to yourself, “Comment? This guy does not comment on anything. He rants!” I am extremely disappointed about your thinking this way about my “wisdom” but I am going to peck on as if you had not said what you just said to yourself because this is my calling.

You might think differently about there being too many laws if you had already been aware of these three laws...

  • You are prohibited by H.R. 1762 Part 234 Subsection 17(c) to become aware of or even to notice that your Congress is lying to you.
  • As you watch the Nightly News you are prohibited by S. 37862 Part 719 Subsection 47(d) to notice that the Breaking News Alert you are watching on TV which is making your blood pressure rise to dangerously high levels is the same Breaking News Alert that last night made your blood pressure rise to dangerously high levels.
  • As required by H.R. 2589 Part 77 Section 259 Subsection445 you are not allowed to Laugh, Snicker or even Notice whenever a member of Congress is caught unable to remember the state he was elected from all those many years ago. A clue that he can’t remember the state he represents is when he says “The Folks Back Home” without mentioning where “Back Home” is. Think about how many times you have heard one of them say, “The Folks Back Home”.

If You Think You Can Just Ignore What They Do And They Will Leave You Alone, Think About This... After having worked hard all your life and saving your money in order to have a somewhat comfortable retirement by living off the interest on your hard earned savings, you are required to just scratch your head in wonderment about what you did wrong because you are getting .02% on your savings because Congress Can’t Stop Spending Money Trying To Buy Your Vote (it’s working) so the Federal Reserve (whatever that is) feels required to dictate that you ought to get doodle squat on your savings and mandate that your banker look you straight into your I-Can’t-Believe-Believe-What-I-Am-Hearing-Eyes and not laugh as he tells you that you are going to get .02% on your hard earned life saving. (Yes I know the prior sentence is too long but it is cuz it ought to be).

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(484)

Lagniappe: Ask a farmer who owns a herd of cows what the bull is doing to the cows when the bull has intercourse with the cow and he will tell you the bull is “Servicing the Cow”.

Now you know what Congress means when they say they have been serving the citizens of the Good Ole USofA for more than 227 years.

Friday, September 19, 2014

This Is Not A Slap At Canada... Or Is It?

It pains me to poke fun at the Canadian Parliament because they appear to be doing a lot more right than our Congress but what I am commenting on in this posting did happen in Canada.

Here is what my newspaper told me...

“Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko received a rapturous welcome usually reserved for sports stars from Canadian lawmakers on Wednesday as he thanked the country for helping save lives in the battle with Russian-speaking rebels.”

Did you see what caught my eye? Yes, of course you did. It was “Sports Stars”. These snow birds reserve their Rapturous Welcomes for Sports Stars? They don’t reserve it for Brilliant Scientists? They don’t jump up for genuine Military Heroes? They don’t feel a thrill running down their legs for the Teacher of the Year? That’s awful!

Actually I had one of my people sequestered in the Canadian Parliament recently when the Prime Minister introduced an Astronaut Nuclear Physicist who had just discovered a cure for 12 Different Kinds of Childhood Cancer. Here is what my guy overheard the lawmakers around him saying to each other...

  • What team does that guy play for?
  • Is that the celebrity who just had that affair with that other celebrity with the cute dimples while she was high on drugs when she decided to cheat on her husband and was quoted as saying to the police as she was escorted into the paddy wagon, “This will show him what he is messing with when he messes with me”?
  • Why does the Prime Minister bring these guys in for us to stand and make as if we know who they are right before happy hour? (Comments like this take place in our U.S. Congress but the difference there is they start saying such things at 10:30 in the morning.)

Ah yes, it certainly looks to me like there is as much Silliness in the Canadian Parliament as there is in the hallowed halls of our own Congress.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(348)

Sunday, September 14, 2014

A Good Man ... Even When No One Is Looking

I did not write the 160 words in bold below. They were written by a Curt Yeomans and they appeared in the Gwinnett Daily Post on page 8A on September 10, 2014...

“Carl Rhodenizer can still remember the morning he went to see Chick-fil-A founder Truett Cathy about funding the establishment of a shelter for abandoned children in Clayton County.

It was the 1980s and children were being abandoned at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. Rhodenizer was seeking funding to buy a place where the children could be brought and cared for. He went to a county commissioner, but was told to come back when he had some funding lined up from the public.

So he went to the Chick-fil-A headquarters to see Cathy, whom he’d known since the early 1950s. The pair had lunch and talked for a while in Cathy’s office.

“He finally said ‘Now Carl, what do you need?’ and I told him what the commissioner had told me,” said Rhodenizer. “He was familiar with the situation at the airport and I asked him if he’d help us, and he said ‘Yes I will. Now how much do you need?”

Mr. Cathy did not say...

  • What’s in it for me?
  • I’ll have to check with my lawyers.
  • I’ll get back to you.

He simply said, “Yes I will. How much do you need?”

Above is the story about how Rainbow House got its first $100,000 while no one was looking.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(311)

Lagniappe:

Samuel Truett Cathy March 14, 1921 – September 8, 2014

It is truly a shame that we know more about the Celebrity involved in he Celebrity of the Day Scandal than we know about this caring and giving man. Please, take a few moments to read about Mr. Cathy... Click Here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S._Truett_Cathy

Saturday, September 13, 2014

A Voice Crying In The Wilderness ... Me

In 1967 Strother Martin told Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke, "What we've got here is failure to communicate"... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2f-MZ2HRHQ

My newspaper just told me who are the current highest paid TV Actresses ($37 Million, $13 Million, $11 Million). I’m so pleased for them. I just know they are doing great things for Humankind with all their hard earned money.

Did you just ask yourself what this has to do with Me Crying In The Wilderness? It’s simple. I am crying, “Who are these people?” I have never heard their names uttered in my entire life!

Yes I know they have never heard my name uttered in their entire lives either. Going forward they are never going to hear my name uttered in their entire lives since it is against Federal Law for them to know who I am because they are important and I’m not.

Still I am confused as to why they are not known to me. I pay attention. What am I doing wrong?

Is it because I don’t do FaceBook? Is it because I don’t Tweet my innermost everything to everybody? Who would have ever thought that I, an internationally known Blogger who is being read on 6 of 7 continents, would be Electronically Challenged?

I guess I am just going to have to stay out here In The Wilderness because I insist I am not going to be swept into FaceBook & Twitter.

Simply stated I do not want the world to know what I had for lunch!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(267)