Monday, September 18, 2017

My Dear Readers, I Accept No Responsibility! It’s All Your Fault!

When I published my Little-Read Book, Foolishness…Or Is It? many years ago I created a Folder in my computer entitled “Next Book”. Every time I wrote another posting to my blog, I put that new posting is this folder.

 

At that point in my “Literary Career”, I thought that my book’s boundless success was assured if I got about 50 of you Dear Readers on my Notification List (actually there are 70 of you on the list at present).

 

You would then take over and tell all your friends about my Clever Use of Words, my Irrefutable Logic and my Delightful Humor-Filled Writing Style and I would be famous and I would be a frequent guest on Literary Panel Discussions on TV every time I turned around.

 

That’s what I anticipated but I am far from famous and have not been on a single Literary Panel Discussion and It’s All Your Fault!

 

It’s certainly not my fault that You Do Not Have Many Friends!

 

As of today, my Next Book Folder has 1,008 Foolishness…Or Is It Postings in it and they are covered with computer dust and, sadly to say, Foolishness…Or Is It? (Volumes 2 through 13) will never be.

 

Did I say it is all your fault?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Friday, September 15, 2017

Our Judicial System Depends On Legal Precedent And That’s A Good Thing…Or Is It?

Seattle Mayor Says He’ll Resign after 5th Molestation Claim Surfaces

Here is an excerpt from a 9/12/17 news article…

“Seattle Mayor Ed Murray will resign the mayor’s office announced Tuesday afternoon hours after news broke that a fifth man has accused the mayor of molesting him as a child.

 

Murray said in a statement that he will resign effective 5 p.m. Wednesday. City Council President Bruce Harrell is expected to serve as mayor until the November election.

 

For months, Murray has faced allegations that he sexually abused homeless boys he encountered decades ago. On Wednesday, Murray’s cousin Joseph Dyer levied similar allegations, saying he felt moved to act because of Murray’s treatment of his accusers.”

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This is from a Web Site called The Eectric Law Library

“PRECEDENT…Legal principle, created by a court decision, which provides an example or authority for judges deciding similar issues later. Generally, decisions of higher courts (within a particular system of courts) are mandatory precedent on lower courts within that system--that is, the principle announced by a higher court must be followed in later cases.

 

I only copied the beginning of the definition. As is normally the case with legalize, it goes on to be very confusing. If you want to get confused click here: http://www.lectlaw.com/def2/p069.htm  

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I state upfront I am not a lawyer. I, however, am an accomplished Blogger of Foolishness (Or Is It?). Here is my Foolish (Or Is It?) Commentary…

 

Focus your mind’s eye on the courtroom of Judge Elmer Fudd as the Defense Attorney, Snidley Whiplash, takes the floor…

 

Your honor, I am mystified that my client is being subjected to this ill advised court action. My client has admitted to 4 instances of Child Molestation. That fact being established and admitted to, may I draw the court’s attention to the case of Murray v A Whole Bunch Seattle’s Of Little Boys in 2017.

 

Legal Precedence clearly dictates that the threshold of justice has not been crossed until and after the 5th child has been molested.

 

It is as plain as any case ever before this court that 4 is not 5 and until 5 is 5 it is still 4. Therefore, there exist no basis in the law to bring my sleazy client before this court or, dare I say, before any court of law across the Fruited Plain.

 

I ask the court to throw out this case based on Established Legal Precedence and issue an apology to my client.

 

As much as I am not in favor of bringing law suits against our Judicial System itself, I feel obligated to point out that I can definitely see the possibility of such a court action. I can see the headline clearly…

Sexual Harasser Files Law Suit Claiming Harassment of a Sexual Harasser Before He Has Admitted To All Of His Sexual Harassing

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

4 New Things I Learned And 1 New Conclusion Drawn As A Result Of Our 28 Hour Irma Caused No Electricity Saga

Learned… Gravity still works when you lose Electricity. If you see Sir Isaac Newton around your neck of the woods, tell him we appreciate his setting up the Law of Gravity this way, otherwise we would not have been able to take Showers.

 

Learned… If I sit in front of a TV that does not light up because it does not have electricity while the Saints are playing on Monday Night Football, the Saints still lose.

 

Learned… The Force of Habit is very strong. During a 28 hour power outage, I stumbled into 112 rooms with a flashlight in hand but still flipped the light switch as I entered or exited.

 

Learned… Cell Phones still work. Thank Heaven! This means Facebook Obsessed America (not me) can keep up with all of its “friends” (the far greater majority of these “friends” they will never meet in their entire lives)…

Ø They can tell them they had a Peanut Butter Sandwich for lunch (Who the heck cares?).

Ø They can tell them they changed their Facebook Picture (Who the heck cares?).

Ø They can tell them they just dozed off while watching a Nuclear Hurricane Irma mess up Florida (Did I really just peck out Nuclear Hurricane?).

 

Don’t blame me for this Nuclear Exaggeration. I did not come up with it. The Mayor of Miami Beach coined that phrase. I expected to see a Mushroom Shaped Cloud sweep across Florida.

 

Concluded… I have now concluded that a large number of people that I used to disagree with are right about something I disagreed with them about. I speak of those who say that it is not fair that some of us have more than some of us. I now believe that, if I lose electricity, the electricity of everyone else in the Good Ole USofA who did not lose electricity should be cut off. It only fair!

 

Those of you who are still without power don’t know it yet but you have this Blog Posting to look forward to when you get your power back. That’s a good thing…Or is it?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Monday, September 11, 2017

Protecting The Privacy Of Criminals Is Guaranteed By The Constitution…Or Is It? (Part 1 of 3)

Why are we even having this conversation? What conversation you ask? Did I neglect to tell you? Please forgive me. The conversation is…

Is Criminal Privacy Protection Really More Important Than Law Abiding Citizen Protection?

BART is the public transportation system in the San Francisco Bay Area. BART is concerned about Racial Stereotyping, therefore, it was refusing to show videos it had in its possession of criminals committing crimes on its trains.

 

A lawsuit was filed to force BART to show the bad guys doing the bad things they did.

 

Click the 7/26/17 link below to hear all about BART’s “principled” stand…

http://video.foxnews.com/v/5521961383001/?#sp=show-clips

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Eventually BART was forced to release a video and here is what happened…

Suspect Arrested in 2 Unprovoked Attacks on BART Trains

By Filipa Joannou and Alison Graham

Updated 4:43pm, Monday, August 7, 2017

 

“A suspect in two unprovoked attacks on passengers riding on BART trains in the past week was arrested Monday morning, 2.5 hours after police released surveillance photos of him, officials said.

 

BART Deputy Police Chief Ed Alvarez said an Oakland firefighter recognized the suspect from the surveillance images and reported him to police.”

 

I wonder if BART now sees the correlation between Releasing the Videos and Catching Bad Guys who attacked its Law Abiding Citizen Riders or are we about to hear and see a Bart Spokesman step up to the mike and issue a lawyer-approved statement that goes something like this?...

I wish to assure our criminal element riders that they should not draw any erroneous conclusions about this being an on-going policy regarding BART’s continued release of videos showing you non-law abiding criminals committing crimes on our trains.

Our lawyers are in consultation at this very moment finding out exactly how this release happened. At this moment we are baffled but BART wants our Criminal Ridership to know that we have your best interest at heart.

Yes, we are very aware that Criminals Are People Too!

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I also wonder if one of BART’s concerns is loss of revenue if criminals were to quit riding their trains.

 

If so, I feel certain the Federal Government probably has funds set aside to supplement BART’s income until they can entice the criminals to start riding (and attacking) again.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: There was a famous Bear Actor (a real Kodiak Bear that was an actor in many movies) that killed his trainer on April 23, 2008. The Bear Actor was named BART. I wonder if there is a video of BART killing his trainer. If there is a video of BART killing his trainer, I wonder if they smudged out BART’s Head in the interest of Bart’s Privacy Concerns.

Saturday, September 09, 2017

Senator Foghorn Leghorn Is Really Angry And He’s Not The Only One


This angry exchange just took place on the floor of the Senate…

Ø Senator Leghorn: “What the hell is going on here! I’ve been lied to for the whole time I have been in this here Senate!”

Ø The Guy with the Hammer Who Just Had His Facebooking Interrupted by Senator Leghorn’s Outburst: “Senator, this is the foremost deliberative body in the world and we do not allow the use of words like “hell” while we are engaged in foremost deliberating!”

Ø Senator Leghorn: “I apologize, your honor, but this is outrageous! From the first day I had the high honor of walking into this hallowed chamber, I have been told that the Road Was Endless. I was assured that I did not need to worry about Kicking the Can Down the Road because the road was never ending. All I had to do was to keep kicking and one day pigeons would be pooping on my statue. Now, my Ivy League Educated Pompous Aide just told me that someday we are going to have to take action on at least a couple of kicked down stuff like…Debt Limit, DACA, North Korea, Tax Reform, Obamacare, Crumbling Infrastructure, ISIS, Hurricane Disaster Relief, NAFTA, that Iran Deal (whatever that’s about), Balance of Payments, Inflation, Military Preparedness, Venezuela, Low Interest Rates, High Interest Rates, etc.”

Ø The Guy with the Hammer Who Just Had His Facebooking Interrupted by Senator Leghorn’s Outburst: “Calm down, Senator, it’s Football Season. The folks back home are paying us no never mind. Once Football Season is over it will be Basketball Playoffs. Then we just have to make it through a few months where we have to act like we are doing something about something. Then it will be Football Season and the cycle repeats itself. Relax, pigeons will be pooping on your statue before you know it. So you see, my good friend, The Road is Endless.”



Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Bedeviling Is Easy


On the front page of the 9/5/17 USA Today is this headline…

DACA Could Bedevil Congress

I thought this was amusing and my silly mind started thinking about other things that could Bedevil Congress. I was covered up by a virtual avalanche of things that could send our 9% Approval Rated Congress into a tizzy. …

Ø Oh my gosh! We are back from Recess (aks: Home Work Period, Vacation, Time Off, Kick the Can Down the Road Practice Breaks)! What do we do now?

Ø Quick someone help me out here! That nosey reporter just asked me which state I represent. I’ve been here so long I can’t remember.

Ø What's this Quorum Thing we keep talking about?

Ø What do you mean I have to cast a vote today? I don’t have time now. I’m very busy updating my Facebook Page about what I had for lunch.

Ø No I will not be able to make a speech on the floor this afternoon. I have set aside time to work on that special project President Reagan gave to me a while back. I have a feeling he is going to be looking me up and asking what my conclusions are any day now. He’s not known to be a patient man, you know.

Ø What do you mean Martha’s Vineyard is not my State? I have been going there for 23 years on my Recess, Home Work Period, Vacation, Time Off and my Kick the Can Down the Road Practice Breaks. They really seem to like me there. Now I know why they always say to me, “Senator, I’d vote for you, if I could.” Next thing you will try and tell me is that Martha’s Vineyard is not even a State at all.



I could go on and on but I think you get my drift.



Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Sunday, September 03, 2017

It’s Not That I Don’t Trust My Fellow Man, It’s Just That My Fellow Man Keeps Stealing From Me

If you are a Buckster (one who frequents Starbucks), you may not care to read this Blog Posting because you just don’t care about Starbucks or anything having to do with Starbucks but think before you delete because this Blog Posting is not really about Starbucks.

 

If you think that Your Fellow Man is honest as the day is long, you might be well advised to read this Blog Posting because that hand in your pocket may not be yours.

 

Starbucks has a Rewards Program (doesn’t everybody?) for their frequent customers. If you are a Buckster and you spend a fortune in their stores, Mr. Starbuck will see to it that you get a small something worth a small something to keep you coming back to spend another fortune.

 

This Foolishness…Or Is It? is actually about the lengths your fellow man will go to to become eligible for a small something worth a small something at the Starbucks Store of his choice.

 

Here is where the plot thickens…

Costco sells Starbucks French Roast Beans in 2.5 pound bags.

 

On these bags is a Peel-Off Sticker with a code that you can transmit to Starbucks and receive 20 Points toward a small something worth a small something.

 

Being sly, cunning and alert I have taken note (remember I am a Noticer) that my fellow man has started pulling off the Stickers of the displayed bags of Starbucks Beans that are waiting for me to come to buy them and get my Rewards Sticker.

 

Maybe this is a shortcoming of mine but I never would have thought of doing something like this.

 

I wonder if there were a display in Costco’s with a pad of pull-off coupons with a sign that read, “Take a coupon (please take only one coupon) and bring to that unsavory looking big guy just outside the store entrance. His name is Mongo. Present your coupon to Mongo and he will hall off and punch you right in your nose as hard as he can.”

 

I would be willing to bet that some of my Fellow Men would take more than one coupon just because they could not help taking more than one coupon.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella