Thursday, April 12, 2018

Old Age Jumped Up And Slapped Me In The Face

I recently had a minor operation on my thumb. I had a Ganglion Cyst removed. It was not a lot of fun but I have had worse things happen to me.

Ganglion Cysts were once called Bible Bumps. They were called that because the bible was slammed down on them to burst them and make them temporarily go away. In the old days this passed for a Medical Treatment.

 

Right now my dear readers are saying to themselves, “Self, what does this have to do with Fella getting old?” I’m getting to that but first you have to have an understanding of what Merthiolate is…

 

I know I spelled it right because I copied the spelling off my bottle but Spell Check does not recognize it as a word...

Ø Antiseptic.

Ø The Traditional Family First Aid Antiseptic.

Ø Helps prevent infection in minor cuts, scrapes and burns.

 

It used to contain Mercury but Mercury is frowned upon these days so the bottle said it now comes in a, “Mercury Free Formulate”.

 

Now I know why I used to glow in the dark when I was a kid.

 

Here comes the Getting Old part...

I went in for my Ganglion Cyst post-op visit and I asked the very young Physician’s Assistant if I should dab the wound with Merthiolate. Did you take note that I said she was “very young”? She replied, “What’s Merthiolate?”

 

That did it. That young thing pushed me right off the downhill slide into the Old Abyss.

 

Actually I don’t feel a lot different but I know deep down I am a lot different.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Mercurochrome was a similar product but unlike Merthiolate it did not sting when you put it on. Merthiolate, in its original form, actually did NOT sting and did NOT color the skin red. These features were added by Lilly because people "didn't believe it worked" unless they could see the markings and feel the sting.

 

Many shied away from it because of the sting. I personally always thought Medicine Had to Taste Bad (or Sting) To Be Good. I was one of those you wanted the sting but I can still hear my Brother shouting, “It Burns!” when my Mother dabbed him with Merthiolate.

 

If you are thinking I did not make fun of him, you don’t know anything about the loving relationship between little brothers and big brothers.

 

Mercurochrome contained Mercury also. My big brother and I slept in the same bed. Sometimes it was hard getting to sleep because the room was so lit up by our two glowing little bodies.