Saturday, June 09, 2018

I Know You Are Very Sick And I Will Open Your Head Shortly But Right Now I Am Busy Doing A Lot Of Unimportant Things

As many as 1 out of every 3 students at some elite U.S. colleges are now classified as Disabled, largely because of mental-health issues such as depression or anxiety, entitling them to a widening array of special accommodations.

 

The rise in Disability Exemptions for mental-health issues has led to Special Treatment and Exception to Rules such as...

Ø A surge in the number of students who take their exams in low-distraction testing centers.

Ø Are allowed to get up and walk around the classroom during class.

Ø Bring a comfort animal to school.

Ø Allowed longer time to take exams.

 

The number of Disabled Students being given Special Treatment because they are now Classified Disabled is expanding dramatically...

Ø At Hampshire, Amherst and Smith Colleges and Yeshiva University it is 20%.

Ø Pomona is now 22% (up from 5% in 2014).

Ø At Oberlin College it is 25%.

Ø At Marlboro College it is 33%.

 

The most common accommodations come during testing. Students who receive extended time may get twice as long as their classmates to take an exam.

 

A Double-Major Student in Chemistry and Math at Amherst who will graduate this year with a B+ average was given 50% more time than her classmates on exams because she was diagnosed with Reading-Comprehension Difficulties and Attention Deficit Disorder.

 

The University of Minnesota has a Test Center for students entitled to Low-Distraction Environments or Extended Time on Exams...

Ø The Center administered 9,681 tests last year, nearly double the number in 2013.

Ø This growth has forced staff to give up their offices during finals to make room for students.

Ø This past year, the school rented out an additional 10,000 square feet of space in a nearby hotel.

 

The University of Kentucky has a Disability Resource Center that is experiencing a dramatic increase in requests for Private Room Testing...

Ø In 2016-17 it administered 7,827 such tests. This is up from 853 in 2007-08.

Ø A dozen students at a time take finals inside cubicles in a room with carpeted floors and dim lights.

Ø Blue painter’s tape covered door latches so they open and close silently.

Ø Students who are being tested on computers each sit in a private room so the clickety-clack of their keyboards won’t disturb other students.

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Are you ready for my Foolishness? ... Or is it?

A Specially Accommodated during Brain School Brain Surgeon is preparing for a Big Operation on James Carville (the Mouth of the South) but there is a delay...

Ø He has adjusted the lighting from Operating Room Bright Bright down to Soft and Soothing Dim.

Ø He has placed his Blue Painter’s Tape on the Operating Room Door where the latch would be if the door had a latch (he did it just in case there were a latch where there is not a latch).

Ø He has inserted and adjusted his Operating Room Soothing Music Head Phones.

Ø He has done his Operating Room Warm-Up Exercises.

Ø He has placed in perfect position his Cushioned Operating Room Floor Mat.

Ø He has sharpened all his Cutting Thingies on his Ginsu Deluxe Sharpener (as seen on TV).

 

Finally, he asked Mr. Carville to sign an Extension to Normal Time of Operation Form in case he has to take as much as twice as long to perform the operation as would be the case for a Surgeon Who Is Not Accustomed To Extra Time. He explains he learned in Brain School that being rushed is not a good thing.

 

Remember when the Gulf Oil Spill was happening in the Gulf of Mexico? Remember what James Carville shouted to President Obama? You don’t? Let me help you remember...

Click Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO1lO1CVkTE

 

James Carville has been patiently waiting on the operating room table but he is now about to burst a blood vessel. He shouts at his Adjusting Everything Doctor...“I’m About to Die Down Here!” but his doctor did not hear him because he was too busy adjusting things.

 

Yes, my dear readers, the Ragin Cajun is in deep trouble.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

3 comments:

Bob said...

I haven't seen that good ole boy James in a while, I sure hope he got up off that operating table with his rage still intact.

Anonymous said...

What I don't understand is why they didn't rewrite the math question around my answer. I'm just thinking out of the box here, but wouldn't that make sense? I think math score would go up dramatically.

SmartFella? said...

Fella,

You are addressing a very real problem. The people who suffer the most from this well-intentioned practice, however, are those who are told they are defective, that they can’t compete, and that they need special treatment.

The vast majority of these “disabled” students are kids who are not happy with their situation, but are forced into it for a variety of reasons.

My favorite example is the student who wanted to have problems on a physics test re-written for her because she had a math disability which had been certified by some psychologist. 99% of the students who don’t pass physics claim to have a problem with math. The kicker is that she wanted to be a pharmacist. That may not be brain surgery, but I really want my pharmacist to be able to count, add, subtract, and even divide and multiply.

This comment is from a long-time college professor who is a long-time friend of Fella.