This Is A Fella News Alert!

This is serious! I heard it with my own ears and I can’t believe what my ears heard! There appears to be no hope! ... I better slow down and let you catch up.

 

I was in a Glassy-Eyed State of Mind as I watched the news (this has started to happen more and more lately as I watch the news). I think it has something to do with ever present Constant News Hysteria. The Heads seem to always be in a constant state of panic as they shout things like this at me... “This Just In!” and “Breaking News!” and “This Is A News Alert!”

 

Come on, Guys, this is going beyond the pale (whatever that means). How many times do you expect Fella to get excited, especially when you send out so many False News Alerts?

 

Just the other day, as the Constant News Station was going on break I was hit with one of those Teaser Alarming Alarms that the station likes to give out to make you stay tuned till after the break. They always say the exciting news will be “next up” right after the break.

 

This time it was, “Jennifer and Chuck (those big time Hollywood Celebrities we all know and love) Call It Quits! Full Details Right After the Break!”

 

I could hardly contain myself and paced back and forth in anticipation all during the break. I kept thinking, “Oh no! They can’t be getting divorced! They are so right for each other!”

 

Then the let down came. First of all the Jennifer and Chuck News did not come right after the break. It came after 2 news stories that I was not interested in. Finally, I was not told about Jennifer and Chuck’s impending divorce at all. I was told that the happy couple had gotten a new Rescue Dog and they had named it “Quits”.

 

Back to my Glassy-Eyed State in paragraph 2 above...

As you all know, I am a Noticer. I am such an Accomplished Noticer that I have the ability to Notice in a Glass-Eyed State and this is what I Noticed this time.

 

We are all concerned about our Congress’ inability to stop spending money that we (they), or is it they (we), don’t have. There it was right in the middle of the Wide-Eyed Talking Head’s Talking, he said, “Senior Lawmakers in Charge of Spending”.

 

My Dear Readers, there’s the problem! There must be Members of Congress whose whole reason for being there is... To Spend Money. This is their charge! It’s part of their Congressional DNA! It’s why they were sent there in the first place! These people lay in bed at night, unable to sleep, thinking thoughts like, “Did I spend enough today? What if the Folks Back Home think I did not spend enough today? I feel so inadequate! I saw it there. I saw there was money left in the Public Treasury and I was too weak to reach down and grab it and squander it while I had the opportunity! I feel so inadequate! (Did I already think that?)”

 

I can’t prove that much of this Blog Posting was not Silly Embellishment and Foolish Conjecture on my part but I swear on my Little-Read Book I did hear the Wide-Eyed Talking Head say, “Senior Lawmakers in Charge of Spending”.

 

I’m sorry for all the Exclamation Points...Or am I?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella