Wednesday, April 25, 2018

She Did Not Understand What She Was Reading

I was still living in California at the time. I was shaving for work and listening to the radio. The Reading the News Lady was reading the news to me. She came to the Stock Market Report and she read the following...

The Stock Market Was Down Yesterday .67 Points

I know this does not seem Strange or Different to you but please allow me to explain why her reading of the news was Strange and Different. Just as she learned in Reading School she put her best dramatic word emphasis on the “.67 Points”. She said it as if it were “OH MY GOSH! THIS IS TERRIBLE! THE STOCK MARKET WENT DOWN 676 POINTS!!!” She sounded like she was delivering dramatic earth-shaking news that was akin to an announcement that was going to immediately make us all get on the phone and make an appointment with Jumping Through Windows R Us and reserve a downtown high-rise window to go jump out of by the end of this very day.

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That Was Then And This Is Now

Today we are seeing very dramatic shifts in the Stock Market. It is not unusual to see movements in the hundreds of points, either up or down, on any trading day.

 

We are starting to get used to these dramatic shifts. It won’t be long before we are going to hear a Reading Head read to us something along these lines...

“Finally, the Stock Market Results for today. I had intended to not bother you with this but I see by the old clock on the wall that we have 10 seconds to kill, so here it is... It was a quiet day today on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. The Market moved down only 967 points. Hardly anyone noticed.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

She studied under famed newsman "Les Nessman" at WKRP in Cincinnati.

Anonymous said...

Good Moring: I think I don’t understand any more. There is a broker in BR advertising a report which claims increases in the market due to tax decrease don’t last. I thought that was the beginning for the Reagan Boom ?

SmartFella? said...

Is there a possibility that broker stands to make money if he gets listeners to believe him?

Anonymous said...

I heard Walter Cronkite do the exact same thing when I changed channels and saw it reported correctly. The great news reporter.