Saturday, March 18, 2017

Our Unemployment And Homicide Rates...You Think You Understand What They Mean...But Do You?

Recently I decided I wanted to get a better understanding of the Unemployment and Homicide Rates in the Good Ole USofA. I went to U.S. Government Statisticians Lunch Room and made like I was one of them.


At first, since I was not recognized, I was treated with some skepticism but once I spouted off a sentence that was too long, full of buzz words which made no sense and chock full of numbers that were unrelated to each other, I was accepted.


After lunch we went back to an office that had a sign over the door which read “Conjureification Department” (that’s where they conjure up numbers to confuse us).


Unemployment Rate...

I was shown a monthly chart that went back to the beginning of reported history of the U.S. Domestic Unemployment Rate. It was quite interesting.


Something caught my eye on the right side of the chart. It was identified as the “True Domestic Unemployment Rate”. Each of these rates had an asterisk next to it that referred to a footnote that simply said, “Ignore This Rate”.


The True Domestic Unemployment Rate was always much higher that the Domestic Unemployment Rate. When I inquired about this rate, I was told that this was the Unemployment Rate after adding in all the people who had stopped looking for work.


I asked how it was determined that a person had stopped looking for work. The explanation I got was so convoluted, long and complicated that I can’t possible repeat it to you. I did try hard to get a better understanding so as to educate you but I must have pressed too hard because I was told to shut up.


I then asked if a person who had stopped looking for work was still unemployed? The answer was yes but I was told that the Folks Back Home did not need to know about this. I pressed again and I again I must have pressed too hard because I was told to shut up.


I have often been told, You Can’t Beat a Dead Horse. At about this point I came to the realization that I had gone about as far as I could go on the Domestic Unemployment Rate and decided, If The Horse Is Dead, Get Off The Horse, so I moved on the Homicide Rate.


Homicide Rate...

A few years ago the Homicide Rate in Honduras was reported by the United Nations as being 91 Killings for every 100,000 people (highest in the world at that time). At the same time the comparable Homicide Rate in the Good Ole USofA was Fewer Than 5.


While looking at the U.S. figures, I took note that the figures for Chicago’s Homicide Rate were set off to the side. When I asked what was going on with the Chicago Statistics they said that Chicago was not included in the Fewer Than 5 U.S. Homicide Rate.


At first the statisticians tried to change the subject but I really thought I was onto something, so I continued to ask why Chicago was not included in the U.S. Homicide Rate. Again I must have pressed too hard because I was again told to shut up.


I did not give up on this one. I continued to press them. All of them became very uneasy and started to sweat a lot and eventually they saw that I was not going to be deterred on this one.


Finally the Chief Statistician lowered his head and in a very soft voice said, “If we included Chicago, we would be higher than Honduras”.


The Bottom Line...

In the future if you want the Unvarnished Truth and getting the Unvarnished Truth will require someone to contact the U.S. Government’s Statisticians on your behalf that someone cannot be me because they won’t let me in the front door anymore. I have been told to never come back.


Would I kid u?