Saturday, March 11, 2017

They Are The Same As They Were Before But They Are Better Because They Are Not The Same As They Were Before

You may find this hard to believe but this Blog Posting started out being one of my shorter ones. Read it anyway because it is Educational ... Or is it?

Oh well, maybe it’s not Educational but is it funny? ... I hope so.


Just when we thought we understood what we understand, “they” upped and started changing what we understood. I wish “they” would leave well enough alone...

Ø Customer changed to Guest

Ø Employee changed to Associate

Ø Suspect changed to Person of Interest

Ø Tax Increase changed to Revenue Enhancement

Ø Tax Cut changed to Loss of Revenue

Ø Short changed to Height Challenged

Ø No Smoking changed to Smoke-Free Environment

Ø In men’s basketball...MVP (Most Valuable Player) changed to MOP (Most Outstanding Player)

Ø In women’s basketball...MVP (Most Valuable Player) changed to POY (Player of the Year)

Ø Mentally Retarded changed to Intellectual Disability

Ø Congressional Pork changed to Earmarks

Ø Secretary changed to Administrative Assistant changed to Administrative Professional

Ø Unemployed changed to Absent From Employment

Ø Strike changed to Industrial Action

Ø Drinking Fountain changed to Hydration Station

Ø Hungry changed to Food Insecure

Ø Short changed to Height Challenged

Ø Illegal Alien changed to Illegal Immigrant changed to Undocumented Immigrant changed to Undocumented Worker changed to Undocumented Citizen and Undocumented Voter.


We seem to have a desperate need to get rid of all references to the Male Gender...

Ø Chairman changed to Chairperson or simply Chair but, for some unknown reason, Chairwoman is acceptable.

Ø Congressman changed to Congressperson but, for some unknown reason, Congresswoman is acceptable.


If “they” can do it, The Fella can too...

Ø Penmanship changed to Penpersonship

Ø Railroad Pullman Car changed to Railroad Pullperson Car

Ø Manual Labor changed to Personual Labor

Ø Man Cave changed to Person Cave

Ø Manhandle changed to Personhandle

Ø Manhattan changed to Personhattan

Ø Mankind changed to Personkind

Ø Mandatory changed to Persondatory

Ø Manipulate changed to Personipulate

Ø Maniac changed to Personiac

Ø Attaboy changed to Attaperson

Ø A Man for All Seasons changed to a Person for All Seasons


Retail “Progress”

Target Big Box Store:

Ø Target phased out gender-based signage in some departments. The shift comes in response to customer feedback that distinguishing between products for girls and boys is unnecessary and maybe even harmful.

Ø Signs in the kids' bedding areas of Target will no longer feature selections for boys or girls.

Ø In the toys aisles, references to gender were removed.

Ø The use of pink, blue, yellow or green paper on the walls of shelves were removed (I don’t understand yellow & green).

A customer applauded Target for listening to consumers who agreed that “color-coded” marketing is “regressive and harmful”.


Religious Confusion...

Ø At one time in the Catholic Church we had Sermons delivered to us. All of a sudden the Sermon was changed to the Homily. We all sat around saying to each other, “What’s a Homily?” Then we were told that the change was made because a Sermon was perceived as talking down to us but a Homily did not talk down to us. The Bottom Line ... A Homily was the same as a Sermon but we still felt better. (Actually, I have never seen the harm at telling us we are going to hell if we don’t mend our evil ways, if we are, in fact, going to hell if we don’t mend out evil ways.)

Ø This one I will never categorize as progress... “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone at her” changed to “Let he who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her”.

Ø The Catholic Church has changed its scripture readings to be Gender Correct (Brothers changed to Brethren). Before the words were actually changed in the text itself, our lay people doing our scripture readings made the changes on the fly. One Sunday I was listening with rapt attention (as I always do) as the lady reader stumbled through the reading making everything Gender Neutral. She was having a stuttering hard time until she got to the last one and she just zipped right through it without hesitation... “The Sins of Man”. I wanted to shout at her, “Don’t you know that is The Sins of Personkind!” I resisted the urge because I don’t want to go to hell.


OK, I am almost done being carried away but please allow me just one more ... Mailman changed to Personperson

Would I kid u?