Thursday, February 09, 2017

Remembering E.F. Hutton

Remember those E.F. Hutton TV Commercials in the late 1970s and early ‘80s where the announcer used that line, “When E.F. Hutton Talks, People Listen”? Everyone in the picture stopped what they were doing and leaned toward the E.F. Hutton Talking Person. That commercial was certainly an attention getter.


It appears China has taken this Listening Thing to a whole new level. They have been “listening” to the world for years. Only, in the case of China, they have been listening and stealing what they heard while listening regarding Technology and Manufacturing Secrets. Then China has been competing against those who they stole the Technology and Manufacturing Secrets from in the world market.


I have it on reliable sources that what they have been doing is dressing up their Listeners as Potted Plants (guess who they stole this idea from?) and strategically placing their Plant Listeners in Make-It-Happen Companies all over the world. You can tell if the plant over there is a Chinese Plant Listener if, as soon as some Trade Secret begins being discussed, the plant leans toward the speaker.


China has been working so hard at stealing that they are not able to do some pretty ordinary manufacturing tasks on their own. I’ll give you an example that my newspaper just told me about...

·        Chinese manufacturers produce 38 billion ballpoint pens a year.

·        This is 80% of the global ballpoint market.

·        They have not, however, produced the Nib (the part that holds the ball at the tip).

·        After a five-year effort, one Chinese company recently achieved this mission of national interest.


Don’t blame me. My newspaper came up with the words “of national interest”. It does not sound like that big a deal to me.


I must be wrong about my No Big Deal Statement above. A Chinese spokesman said this, “It’s meaningful to have a breakthrough in the core technology for the domestic industry. What if there’s a war?”


It sure seems like the Chinese are planning ahead. When they go to war they want to be able to use their Made in China by Chinese Ballpoint Pens to write bad things about whoever they are warring upon.


Here Is Where I Go Off On Another (But Related) Tangent

I’ve often wondered about all this talk about the Chinese planning to kill everybody. Follow along with me as I imagine the rulers of China discussing the possibility of going to war. The Big Chinese Warmonger says the following...

·        Fedwick is very important to the economy of China.

·        We export 65% of everything we make to Fedwick.

·        72% of our workers are employed in making Chinese products for export to Fedwick.

·        I hereby propose that at dawn tomorrow we launch 300 Mao Missiles at Fedwick and wipe it and its Chinese Product Consuming People off the face of the Earth.


Does that not sound kind of drastic? Does that not sound kind of stupid? Let’s all hope they are not prone to drastic and stupid because my wild and crazy made-up numbers above may be Made-Up Foolishness but I’m pretty certain we are Fedwick.


Would I kid u?