Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Is It Possible We Are Being Manipulated?

The guy who came up with Black Friday was a Retail Marketing Genius. Every year he has all of America jumping through his Frenzied-Gotta-Go-Buy-Something-Today Hoop.

 

I take great pride in stating that I am not one of the Frenzied Hoop Jumpers. My having said that, in the interest of Openness and Transparency, I feel compelled to state that I just happened to be in a Gun Store on Black Friday last. I was simply walking through said Gun Store when a Black Friday Unbelievably Low Priced Gun caught my attention and I was moved to buy it.

 

This was a rather expensive walk through. Next Black Friday I plan to walk through Dollar Tree.

 

As I was checking out with my impulsive gun, I looked into the display case in front of me and I saw a Knife for $120. I have always been of a mind to believe that $10 was a good price for a knife. I said to the clerk, “That’s a lot to pay for a knife”. He replied as he was trained to reply to uninformed Non-Black-Friday Shoppers who were in his store on Black Friday, “It’s a good knife”.

 

After making my purchase I decided to walk around the store. Most men like to walk around gun stores even more than walking around Home Depot. It’s just as awe inspiring as Home Depot but it is definitely more exciting.

 

The first display case I came to made the $120 Knife look cheap. I found I was looking at a $500 Knife. It was not even a Gigantic Bowie Knife. It was shorter than a Butter Knife. This astounding price was significantly over what I paid for my impulsive gun. I found myself thinking to myself, “Self, that’s a lot to pay for a knife and it does not even shoot people”.

 

Maybe this should not have surprised me so because of what had happened in a North Carolina Hardware Store the prior weekend. There I found myself looking in a display case that had a Watch priced at $13 sitting next to a Pair of Sunglasses priced at $150.

 

Maybe the Helpful Hardware Person (formerly known as Helpful Hardware Man) was thinking that, if you were stupid enough not to care about accurate time, you were dumb enough to pay $150 for a pair of sunglasses that made you look cool and which you were going to leave in a coffee shop within the next two weeks.

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Let’s get back to the Retail Marketing Genius who invented Black Friday.

 

There must certainly be a statue of that guy in the Retail Marketing Hall of Fame. He deserves to be on that pedestal but I am not so sure about the copycat wannabe “geniuses” who are trying to manipulate us with…

Ø Pre-Black Friday Thursday (Yes, I am sorry to say that this is Thanksgiving Day) where we flock into stores in the late afternoon on the day before Black Friday to get a jump on the Wide-Eyed Black Friday Buyers who will be charging into the stores on Black Friday Morning because they do not know about Pre-Black Friday Thursday.

Ø Small Business Saturday (day after Black Friday) where we are instructed to shop at the Mom and Pop Stores still out there.

Ø Cyber Monday (Monday after Black Friday) where we are required to shop online in order to keep the Internet Millionaires Millionaires.

Ø Giving Tuesday (Tuesday after the Monday after Black Friday) this is the newest Hoop Day. On this day we are encouraged to give money to charity. This one will probably not last long because we don’t have any money left to give away because we spent it all on Pre-Black Friday Thursday, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday.

 

How long will it be before we just forget all about Thanksgiving Day and start Black Friday in the wee hours of Pre-Black Friday Thursday?

 

Will this Copycat Madness never end? What’s next? Maybe I ought to jump in here and create a day that will be to my own selfish benefit…

Foolishness Wednesday… This would be a day where everyone spends the entire day reading Foolishness…Or It Its. Yes, I do have enough to keep the Silly People of the world busy all day (especially if I release the 1,036 currently in my computer’s Next Book Folder.)

No I’m not going to pursue this course of action. If I did, the next thing you know there would be a Statue of the Fella on a Pedestal with pigeons having their way with him.

 

Worse yet, before you know it they would be tying a rope to his statue’s neck and yanking him down like Saddam Hussein was yanked down because they (whoever “they” are) found out what he did with Peggy Sue’s Pigtail with That Ink Well 66 Years Ago.

 

I would just hate to see his statue thrown on the Statue Ash Heap of History.

 

Let’s face it many of those Torn Down Statue People probably did a lot less evil than what he did to poor unsuspecting Peggy Sue’s Pigtail.

 

Maybe I ought to profusely apologize to Peggy Sue and her Pigtail.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: From my It Could Be Worse Department…The latest Costco Flier tells me I can rush down and buy a Japanese Wagyu Boneless Ribeye 12 Pound Roast for only $1,299.99 (Wow! That’s not even $1,300!). That’s only $108.33 per pound. Thankfully, it is on special with $200 off and at only $1,099.99 it’s only $91.67 per pound.

Special Note: The word “only” is used four times in the above Lagniappe. There ought to be Federal Law preventing the use of the word “only” anywhere inside the above Lagniappe.

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

The Smart People Say To Be Smart You Must Give The Smart People The Answer The Smart People Want You To Give To Them Smart People

"Lynne V. Cheney

April 1, 2015

If you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!

—President Ronald Reagan, speech at the Brandenburg Gate, Berlin, 1987

President Reagan’s challenge to Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev remains one of the most dramatic calls for freedom in our time. Thus I was heartened to find a passage from Reagan’s speech on the sample of the new Advanced Placement U.S. history exam that students will take for the first time in May. It seemed for a moment that students would be encouraged to learn about positive aspects of our past rather than be directed to focus on the negative, as happens all too often.

But when I looked closer to see the purpose for which the quotation was used, I found that it is held up as an example of “increased assertiveness and bellicosity” on the part of the U.S. in the 1980s. That’s the answer to a multiple-choice question about what Reagan’s speech reflects.

No notice is taken of the connection the president made between freedom and human flourishing, no attention to the fact that within 2½ years of the speech, people were chipping off pieces of the Berlin Wall as souvenirs. Instead of acknowledging important ideas and historical context, test makers have reduced President Reagan’s most eloquent moment to warmongering.

The AP U.S. history exam matters. Half a million of the nation’s best and brightest high-school students will take it this year, hoping to use it to earn college credit and to polish their applications to competitive colleges. To score well on the exam, students have to learn what the College Board, a private organization that creates the exam, wants them to know."

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That’s the end of what Lynne V. Chaney had to say. Here is what Fella has to say…

I once read a book about this speech. Most of President Reagan's advisors did their best to get him to not say, "Tear Down This Wall". At that time in history that wall was a fact of life that would be there forever. They said that throwing down this challenge was a waste of time. It was never going to happen and it would make the Soviets mad at us.

Within 2.5 years of the speech the wall came down. Would it have come down without President Reagan daring to say it ought to come down? Maybe it would have but what's wrong with looking at something so evil and saying that it was evil and that evil ought to be removed?

If Fella had been an advisor to President Reagan I hope I would have said to President Reagan, “Hey, Ronnie, it can’t hurt.” History has proven that it did not hurt.

The Fella is glad President Reagan had the guts to say what I would have advised him to say if I had been there to say it.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Sunday, November 19, 2017

The Goings On In Our 13.4% Approval Rated Congress Is So Nonsensical It Is Hard To Discern The Silly From The Foolish

If I said, “Congress Is Acting Silly Again” you might accuse me of wasting words because word “Again” would not be necessary.

Below I have listed 3 examples of Congressional Silliness. To be honest with you the prior sentence is a lie. Two of them are Fine Examples of Congressional Silliness but one of them is a Fine Example of Something I Made Up.

Can you tell which one I made up?...

Ø He said it's possible that some reporters are ensnared in leak investigations right now but they wouldn’t know it unless there was a subpoena, a search warrant or an Actual Leak About the Leak Investigation.

Ø It is obvious that the process is replete with redundancy which is all the more reason why we need to Repeat Every Step in the Process before we move on.

Ø I am pleased to report to you that we finally have oversight in the form of an Oversight Committee Investigation but we now desperately need Oversight of the Oversight Committee.

You can’t tell which is the one I made up can you? Don’t feel badly. Congress has a long and storied history of being Silly. They are very good at it.

In those meetings Congress will not let us get into, you can hear this said over and over, “You are out of order! How many times have I told you, if it’s not foolish, don’t even bother to bring it up for discussion!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: #2 above is the one I made up. Take a moment and read the other 2. Kind of makes you sad, does it not?

Thursday, November 16, 2017

It Used To Be That, Once History Was Done, It Was Written Down And It Was Done

The above Subject is the way it used to be. Now we change history to match up with the way things are now. Or said differently… We change history to match up with the way things should have been, if only the past was as enlighten as we are today.

 

This quote was sent to me in an email from a well respected organization. It is a quote of the words of John F. Kennedy…“A nation reveals itself not only by the men and women it produces, but also by the men and women it honors, the men and women it remembers.“

 

The problem is President Kennedy did not say these exact words. His historically accurate quote did not include…“and women” and “and women” and “and women”.

 

The actual historic quote was…“A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces, but also by the men it honors, the men it remembers.“

 

I looked it up on The Internet and copied and pasted below the first five references I found...

 

Goodreads…

John F. Kennedy > Quotes > Quotable Quote

Ø    “A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces but also by the men it honors, the men it remembers.”

JFK2

John F. Kennedy

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IZQuotes

JFK3
 

John F. Kennedy Quote

 

A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces but also by the men it honors, the men it remembers.
John F. Kennedy

Source/Notes: 
Speech at Amherst College (1963)

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Dictionary of Quotes

"A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces but also by the men it honors, the men it remembers" – John Fitzgerald Kennedy

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ThinkExist.com

John Fitzgerald Kennedy quote

  “A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces but also by the men it honors, the men it remembers”

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The Atlantic

Poetry and Power

"A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces but also by the men it honors, the men it remembers"

 JFK

Quote from The Fella…“History Changed Is Not History”.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Little Known Industries

Little Known Industries

My newspaper continues to educate me. Today I learned about the Cash IndustryHeadline: As Digital Payments Spread, the Cash Lobby Raises Its Voice.

 

See what I mean? I don’t know how there could be such a thing as a Cash Industry and now I know it actually has a Voice Box. That’s amazing! That’s educational.

 

I said to myself, “Self, is my newspaper trying to tell me that there is an industry that makes money simply because we use money? How can that be?”

 

I understand there are the Automotive Industry, the Restaurant Industry, the Travel Industry and the Raman Noodle Industry and how they function. My confusion continued.

 

Then the article went on to explain to me that the Cash Industry was in direct competition with the Credit Card Industry. How the Credit Card Industry makes money I can easily understand but how does the Cash Industry make money? My confusion continued.

 

The Answer: The Cash Industry is those groups of companies that make up the global supply chain that make banknotes and coins. They supply the paper for bills, the ink, the holograms that are printed into the bills, the machines for handling cash and the machines for destroying the cash when it becomes worn out.

 

They actually came together last year to form the International Currency Association. Its membership costs $35,000 for the larger companies. Wow! That’s a lot of cash but you would expect that the Cash Industry would have a lot of cash laying around, would you not? 

 

Well that’s the name of that tune but the melody lingered on in my foolish mind and it started to wander on about other Little Known Industries.

 

The Outrage Industry…

Ø These are the people who provide the Outrage for our burgeoning Protest Industry (an industry within an industry).

Ø They teach protesters how to maintain a look of Indignation and Anger on their faces even if they can’t remember what they are protesting for or against.

Ø They can also assist those protesters who can remember what they are protesting about but they can’t remember whether they were for or against what they are protesting about.

The Sexual Misconduct Industry…

Ø Provides counseling for those that desire to become a Sexual Misconducter but they are having difficulty overcoming their outdated sense of decency that has been ingrained in them by years of training by Parents, Teachers and a myriad of Decent People they have been associated with since birth.

The Driving Dangerously Industry Is Teaching Traffic Chaos…

Ø Where I live drivers are running through stop signs without even tapping their brakes.

Ø On 2 occasions in the last week I watched cars go by me on crowded surface streets at very high speeds (my guess more than 60mph in a 35mph zone) while weaving through traffic like they are in a high speed police chase.

Ø I experienced a situation where I was waiting for a red light to change and a lady pulled up to me in a Right-Turn Only Lane. When the light changed, she did not turn right but accelerated very fast straight ahead and swerved in front as she sped away certainly exceeding the speed limit within seconds.

Ø Jaywalking is back big time.

Ø Running Red Lights.

Ø I was told by a friend of mine of a conversation with a recent immigrant where the immigrant said he thought our traffic laws did not make sense because they required drivers to stop for red lights even when there was no traffic coming.

 

Yea, I know I am an old Fuddy Dutty (a person who is stuffy, old-fashioned and conservative). If you are worrying about the influence of us Dutty People to make things right again, don’t bother. We are fast disappearing.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Friday, November 10, 2017

House, Senate GOP Split On Taxes

For someone who is opposed to having a law for everything one could imagine, I sure blog often about the need for more laws. The truth (remember truth?) is I am being silly about needing all these laws I propose and I am kidding you...Or am I?

 

Today I would like to tell you about the undeniable need for Secrecy in Government. I say the heck with transparency. I am certain that, after I lay out my case for Secrecy in Government below, each and every one of you will see the logic of what I propose…Or will you each?

 

The Subject of this Blog Posting above is the exact quote from my morning newspaper today (11/10/17) and therein is our problem…

Ø The House of Representatives has proposed a new set of provisions for their Tax Reduction/Simplification/Revision Proposal.

Ø The Senate has been ensconced in Happy Hour patiently waiting and doing no work on their Counter Proposal until they receive the House’s Proposal.

 

Whenever any Senator is asked what he “thinks” the bill should look like before the House’s Version is published, he declines to comment but he does admonish the questioner along these lines…

Do you really expect the Senate to spend any time coming up with a Counter Proposal before there is something Counter?

Within 45 minutes of the House’s Proposal, the Senate lays out its Counter Proposal using the House’s Proposal for the basis of the their proposal.

 

Almost everything the House has proposed the Senate will Tweak, Adjust, Take A Position Opposed To, Modify, Raise and/or Lower (Yes, in our 9% Approval Rated Congress, there is a difference between Tweak, Adjust and Modify).

 

Hardly anything that is proposed by the House is agreed to without change.

 

In this case the Senate agreed to…

·       Lower Corporate Rate to 20%.

·       Nearly double Standard Deduction.

·       Eliminate Personal Exemptions.

·       Eliminate Alternative Minimum Tax.

 

The Senate has quibbled with…

 

House Bill

Senate Bill

Top Individual Rate

39.6%

38.5%

Number of Individual Tax Brackets

 

4

 

7

Estate Tax

Expands exemption to about $11 million a person & repeals in 2025

Expands exemption to about $11 million a person

Corporate Rate Reduction To 20% Takes Effect

 

 

2018

 

 

2019

Top Pass-Through Rate

25% with caveats

Above 30%

State/Local Reduction

Preserves for Property Tax up to $10,000

Eliminates

Medical Expense Deduction

 

Eliminates

 

Preserves

Student Loan Interest Deduction

 

Eliminates

 

Preserves

Child Tax Credit

$1,600/Child

$1,650/Child

 

If you find yourself wondering about whether some of these changes were derived by use of the Dart Board at Happy Hour, you just know the Dart Board came into play when you gaze upon the last one above…a $50 difference?! I just heard that famous tennis player shout, You Can’t Be Serious!

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

 

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

I Choose To Not Believe The Media’s Take On This One

News Article Headline 11/2/17…

Overexposure, Not Anthem Protests, Blamed for NFL’s Ratings Woes

I choose to write my own Headline…

OverStupidExposure Blamed for NFL’s Ratings Woes

Please take 5 minutes and 35 seconds to watch this video…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQCQFH5wOJo

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Saturday, November 04, 2017

George Washington's Church Says Plaque Honoring First President Must Come Down

Below is a quote (5 paragraphs) from the news article where the above Subject came from…

  • Leaders at the church that George Washington attended decided that a plaque honoring the first president of the United States must be removed.
  • Christ Church in Alexandria, Virginia will take down a memorial marking the pew where Washington sat with his family, saying it is not acceptable to all worshipers.
  • The plaques in our sanctuary make some in our presence feel unsafe or unwelcome," leaders said, a reference to the fact that Washington was a slaveholder.
  • Some visitors and guests who worship with us choose not to return because they receive an unintended message from the prominent presence of the plaques.
  • Many in our congregation feel a strong need for the church to stand clearly on the side of “all are welcome- no exceptions”, they concluded.

I propose a remedy (I always propose a remedy). I say the “Leaders” should put this New Unoffending Plaque in the place of the Old Offending Plaque

What’s His Name Sat Here

No one could object to that…Or could one?

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There’s more to this Silliness that I first thought. For example, think about this…

There are Inns all over New England with signs reading…

George Washington Slept Here

Historically this has been an invitation from the inn keeper to come sleep where George slept.

Are these Invitation Signs now going to be seen as Warning Signs that convey this message to the Sleeping-Out People…

Be Careful. You Might Want To Take Your Business Elsewhere Because George Washington Slept Here!

Let’s carry this to its Illogical-But­-Certain-To-Happen Conclusion. Are we going to see the need for all Inns in New England to put up signs that say…

George Washington Did Not Sleep Here

The Sleeping-Out People are certainly going to be demanding assurance that George had not actually slept there before they will consent to sleep there.

By not putting out a No George Sign, the New England Inn Keepers might be suspected of trying to trick the Sleeping-Out People into sleeping where George slept which would certainly make them uncomfortable, dare I say, actually put them in danger.

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Are you thinking the fella is getting carried away by using the word “danger” in the above paragraph? I defend my use of that word by referring to the opening quote above which started all of this Silliness.

The people who are removing George’s Plaque said as justification for the removal these words…

The plaques in our sanctuary make some in our presence feel unsafe

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Source: http://insider.foxnews.com/2017/10/28/george-washington-church-plaque-honoring-first-president-must-come-down

Friday, November 03, 2017

Message To My Russian Friends…Or Are They?

Headline in my Newspaper 11/2/17…

Russia Ads Targeted Precise Groups

The new data, released by members of the House Intelligence Committee, show the sophistication of the Russian effort to hit precise groups of people to amplify specific, simmering tensions within the U.S.

 

Message to My Russian Friends…

Hey, Boris, it’s working!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Thursday, November 02, 2017

All Of A Sudden (At Least In My World) Opioids Are A Strong Contender For The Number One Topic Of Conversation

Since Opioids just came into my ken I am trying to figure out what they are all about. I started by looking them up in Wikipedia. This is what I found and that’s when my curiosity turned to confusion…

Opioids are substances that act on opioid receptors to produce morphine-like effects…

Ø Used for pain relief, including anesthesia.

Ø Suppression of diarrhea.

Ø Treating opioid use disorder.

Ø Reversing opioid overdose.

Ø Suppressing cough.

Ø Suppressing opioid induced constipation.

 

Am I displaying my ignorance by saying to myself, Self, are they telling me…

Ø If I had an Opioid Use Disorder I would be given Opioids to remedy my Opioid Use Disorder?

Ø If I had an Opioid Overdose I would be given Opioids to remedy my Opioid Overdose?

Ø If I had Opioid Induced Constipation I would be given Opioids to remedy my Opioid Induced Constipation?

 

I can understand going into your doctor’s office and saying, “Doc, wine, women and song are ruining my life. I really think I have to give up singing”.

 

What I am having a hard time getting my mind around is going into your doctor’s office and saying, “Doc, Opioid Use Disorder, Opioid Overdose and Opioid Induced Constipation are ruining my life. You have got to give me a whole lot of Opioids and be quick about it!”

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Did you notice one of the things Opioids are now used for is Suppressing Cough? I hate to burst these smart people’s bubble but the Smith Brothers’ Daddy fixed this problem in 1852.

 

Lagniappe More: Originally the drops were sold from glass jars on countertops. To prevent drug stores from selling generic versions the company began packaging drops in branded boxes in 1872. To distinguish their drops from imitators, the bearded brothers created a logo featuring their portraits and stamped it on their boxes. When trademarked in 1877 the word "Trade" appeared under the picture of William and the word "Mark" under the picture of Andrew. It followed the brothers became known as Trade and Mark, nicknames that stick to this day.

clip_image002

Lagniappe More Again: Today we have Stand-Up “Comedians” who get most of their laughs by using Filthy Language. I sometimes wish that we had Stand-Up Historians instead and they would stand up and tell stories like this one about Trade and Mark Smith. The problem is, without the filthy language, no one would be laughing and I would be the only one taking notes.