Wednesday, August 09, 2017

Does God Tweet?

There I was standing in the middle of the road being the Proverbial Deer in the Headlights.

 

I looked right at Twitter, Tweets and Twits and said to the entire world (or at least the .0000000000000000000000000000001% of the world that reads my Foolishness), “Twitter, Tweets and Twits who Tweet are all Silly!”

 

It was then that Deer Me was run over by all things Twitter.

 

I remember when Twitter had just been invented, created, concocted, spit out or by whatever means it was thrust upon us. I looked at what was happening and I was put off by statements in the news like, “Twitter Nation Thinks…”.

 

I said in response, “How can all those people all over everywhere “think” as a group? Have they been elected to speak as one with a single voice? Did they get together in one gigantic room and debate, analyze and look at evidence in order to vote and be able to speak with their one gigantic voice?”

 

Imagine that all of Twitter Nation was made up of 3 Twits. Imagine further (stay with me on this) one was a Carpenter in Wichita, another was a Symphony Conductor in Budapest and the third one was Whale Fisherman shipping out of a port on the east coast of Siberia. Imagine (are you still with me?) one day they all Tweeted and 2 of the 3 said that Columbus was wrong and the world was obviously flat. Would it actually be flat because Twitter Nation said it was?

 

Magnify my Silly example to the point where there are 880 Million Twits. One day 51% of them say that Columbus was wrong and the world was obviously flat. Would it actually be flat because Twitter Nation said it was?

 

I’m sure I have made my point brilliantly but I am also sure a whole bunch of you just thought to your collective selves about the subject of this bit of Foolishness, “Does God Tweet?”

 

Please allow me to brilliantly explain that also…

Ø My newspaper just told me that things are going from worst to awfully worst in Venezuela.

Ø The Vatican’s Silence about what has been going on in Venezuela has been deafening until it recently issued a statement wherein the Vatican said it was expressing, “Profound Concern”.

Ø The Catholic Bishops of Venezuela felt this was far from an adequate and they decided to bypass the Pope and appeal directly to God Himself when they Tweeted a Prayer, “to free our homeland from the claws of communism and socialism”.

 

We are not in the habit of Praying to Politicians or to Athletes or to Movie Stars (although I am not so sure that this does not happen a lot more than we realize).

 

No, when we pray, We Pray To God.

 

Now do you see why the Subject of this Silliness is, “Does God Tweet?” It was because the communication medium used by the Venezuelan Bishops to pray to God was Twitter?

 

Venezuela has enough on their plate without me getting involved. I do wish them all the luck in the world with a few miracles thrown in but I sure hope God is not actually sitting on a cloud up in heaven Tweeting.

 

If he is, please tell me. I get on my knees a lot when I communicate with Him. My knees are not in the same shape as they were in years past. If lying on my back and Tweeting would work just as well, I’m ready to give it a try.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

7 comments:

Bob said...

Wow, are we followers really only .0000000000000000000000000000001% of the worlds population? That makes us look like so few. Fooling the eye, I like our numbers expressed in powers of tens better...10E-33... we don't look like such an insignificant number that way.

Anonymous said...

I have often wondered who decided to break down God's word into chapters and Verses. Subsequent research has revealed that numerous people have tried to organize and reorganize the Bible for clarity.

Do you think that some of the words were lost because of the limitation of lack of ink or lack of block letters in the printer's bin?

Maybe you could do a follow up blog on it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chapters_and_verses_of_the_Bible

SmartFella? said...

Wow! Talking about the Fella biting off more than he can chew! This is above my pay grade, which is nothing.
On the other hand, if I did it, what do you think about one day seeing references to Matthew, Mark, Luke, John & Fella?
If I could be assured of this type of everlasting fame, I just might give it a go.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Fella...good one. And now, seriously, maybe the Pope will understand that communism and socialism are the "dung of the devil" and capitalism is not so.

Anonymous said...

If God tweets, what has happened to all the emails I have been sending him for years? Man,has all my good fortune come from.......where?

Anonymous said...

IF SMART FELLA HAD PAID MORE ATTENTION TO THE NUNS HE WOULD KNOW THAT GOD IS MERCIFUL!
Which means.... Things are not looking too good for the young man who started it.

Anonymous said...

Maybe that what he is doing when you want to do something but hear a don’t message.