Thursday, July 27, 2017

One Banana Two Banana Three Banana Four

When I was a kid, I thought, if I ate those stringy things that hung on a banana after I peeled it, I Would Die.

 

Now my wife, who is always trying to find ways for me to live longer, has found out that the Banana Peel Itself Is Edible.

 

Not only won’t it kill you, it is actually good for you.

 

Next thing we know we will be told that, if we don’t eat the Banana Peels, We Will Experience A Premature Death and the next next thing we know they will be telling us that Eating Banana Peels just might be the secret to everlasting life.

 

While Banana Peels may make you live forever, there is no research that shows it has any effect on Old-Age Human Body Shrinkage. In the future we will forever be sitting around getting smaller and smaller while eating banana peels and looking more and more like raisins every day.

 

My mind’s eye (whatever that is) just pictured what I just described in the last paragraph. My advice to each of you is to start eating a whole lot of Unhealthy Foods and hopefully a nice quick heart attack will save you from becoming an Everlasting Raisin Person!

 

When you choose your Unhealthy Suicide Foods, don’t select bacon because bacon, which for 50 years has been officially one of the worst foods you could eat, has now been declared one of the healthiest foods you can eat… https://bacontoday.com/top-10-reasons-bacon-is-actually-healthy-for-you

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Think about all the people who died from eating bacon for the last 50 years. They are probably really mad because they were actually healthy when they died.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

My grandchildren’s lab eats them with peel on if she can reach them on the counter and seems be ok. I guess Mrs. Fella is right & hope you are now reassured since it is dog tested. I am not going to tell my wife what your wife told you but am going to your save link on bacon and may pass that on. Happy Thursday and thanks for improving the day.

Anonymous said...

Well, you can have my share of banana peels. I will stick with bacon, yumm!

Ludwig said...

OK, off to the kitchen to experiment with my new health treat: Deep-fried, bacon-wrapped bananas. See you around in the next century if we can crawl through the carpeting.