Saturday, March 05, 2016

But I Don’t Want A Divorce

Online Dating is all the rage in the Good Ole USofA today. There are so many ads on TV for them that GEICO is getting worried that they will not be able get all the time slots they require to place their ads (GEICO is there in front of us every time we turn around. I even tried not turning around but it did not slow down the GEICO Avalanche one bit.).

I Googled “On-Line Dating” & created the list below (many I have never heard of either)...

· Arab Dating

· Asian Date

· Atlanta Professional Singles (Is there one of these for every city in the country?)

· Badoo

· Be Naughty

· Be Social

· Black People Meet

· Book Of Matches

· Chemistry

· Christian Dating For Free

· Christian Mingle

· Connecting Singles

· Date Hook Up

· Dating Site Fish

· eHarmony

· Elite Singles

· Farmers Only

· Fish Dating

· Fish Singles

· Go Fish Dating

· How About We

· I Date Asia

· It’s Just Lunch

· JDate

· Jewish Match

· Jump Dates

· Lots Of Fish

· Love Awake

· Love Me

· Mashable

· Match

· Mature Singles Only

· Metro Date

· Mingle 2

· OK Cupid

· One On One

· Online Dating University

· Open Dating

· Our Time

· Plenty of Fish

· Professional Match

· Senior People Meet

· Single And Over 50

· Single Parents Meet

· Six Singles

· Speed Date

· Tinder

· Zoosk

Not all of these advertise on TV. If they all did, we would be sitting around Starbucks saying to each other, “I never heard of GEICO”.


Enter our 9% Approval Rated Congress

My sources in Washington DC are reporting to me that Congress is a great supporter of Online Dating as the most logical way to find a marriage partner.

The problem is, as is usually the problem with Congress, they are going overboard. They are Working Hard on legislation that will create a requirement that Online Dating must have been utilized before a marriage license can be issued. (“Working Hard” in Congress means they are delaying the start of Happy Hour by 30 minutes 1 day a week.)

This time, however, they are really getting carried away. A key provision of this bill is that any marriage that was not the result of Online Dating will be declared invalid & the partners of these ill-advised unions must get divorced.

Since I don’t want a divorce, I drove up to see my Senator & told him that we have been married 52 years &, when we were married, there was no such thing as Online, much less Online Dating. He looked at me & said, “And your point is? Ignorance of the law is no excuse! That applies to laws that are on the books at the time of your ill-advised actions or laws that will be on the books after you have acted on your ill-advised actions”.

Who can argue with such logic? I have contacted my lawyer & the divorce papers are being drawn up even as I peck out this Foolishness.

Would I kid u?


Lagniappe: Some of my Dear Readers are pretty sharp. That means that some of you are seeing that most Members of Congress will have to get divorced also. Congress is way ahead of you. As usual, this law, as is the case in most destructive laws passed by Congress, does not apply to Members of Congress...Or does it? They have inserted Provision 27, Part B, Section ii, Subsection 2.5 that reads as follows, “The Divorce Requirement does not apply to Members of Congress unless any particular Member of Congress wants it to apply to him, in which case, it does apply to him”.