Tuesday, May 31, 2016

How To Pump Up The Economy Of The Good Ole USofA

The solution about how to create Economic Activity is obvious but no one seems to see it except The Fella.

Holidays! We need more holidays. Every time there is a Holiday the Retailers in the Good Ole USofA have a Holiday Sale (Washington’s Birthday Sale, Memorial Day Sale, Independence Day Sale, Martin Luther King Day Sale, Ground Hog Day Sale, etc.) we rush out to save money & we stimulate the economy.


If our 9% Approval Rated Congress would just come back from their Vacation...or is it Recess?...or is it District Work Period? & pass laws that established a Holiday for each & every day of the year, we could then all go out & spend all our money.


Just think of how much we would save!


Would I kid u?


Monday, May 30, 2016

The Day Google Crashed

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A hard-line Republican effort to impeach the top U.S. tax collector came under fire on Tuesday from Democrats who called it an unsubstantiated partisan attack that could undermine the credibility of Congress.

Can spot what caused Google to Overload & Crash?


What’s that y’all just said? Not one of you sees it! My dear readers, you disappoint me. I expect so much of you but sometimes you really disappoint me. This is certainly one of those times.


It’s the word “credibility”! As soon as that word was thrown out there, every member present for this hotly contested debate pulled out their Smartphone & Googled, “credibility”.


That did it. Google could not handle the onslaught.


Would I kid u?


Friday, May 27, 2016

The Polight Part III...It Is Here!

Do I know what I am talking about or what!?

8 years ago (2008 presidential election) I published the first Foolishness about The Polight.


4 years ago (2012 presidential election) I refreshed your collective memories by publishing The Polight again.


I am now going to publish it again because The Future Is Here! Read The Polight Post again below & then read about why I just said The Future Is Here. (If you make it a practice to read The Polight Post so often that you have it memorized, you can just skip to the bottom & see The Future That Is Here.)


The Polight (Part 2)

The word “Polight” is derived from a combination of “Politician” & “Light”.

Almost 4 years ago I posted the first Foolishness...Or Is It? about the Polight. Today I have revised it because of the current Presidential Election.


There ought to be a law requiring a red light be surgically implanted on the top of the head of any candidate running for President. The light would function as follow...

Ø  If the candidate were speaking a lie, the light would turn on.

Ø  If the candidate were making a proposal that was physically impossible to actually be implemented, the light would turn on. For Example: “My fellow Americans, today I am proposing that all B52’s that I send to drop nuclear bombs on anyone anywhere have a gear or a gadget or a doohickey installed that will allow the pilot to be able to stop forward flight and reverse direction within 25 feet, just in case I change my mind.”


Because of some politician's propensity to lie unceasingly or make statements on subjects about which they have no knowledge, the Polight would have to be rigged so that it would blink every 20 seconds. If this were not the case and the light stayed on all the time, voters might begin to think the Polight was broken. Then where would we be?


I can hear you out there saying to yourselves, that this is Foolishness. However, can you picture in your mind’s eye how wonderful it would be if only this Foolish Device really existed?


Would I kid u?



Here if The Future I promised above. I found this today on the Internet (that means you know it is true). I’m so excited!


Ø There is an app called "moodies" which can already tell in which mood you are.

Ø By 2020 there will be apps that can tell by your facial expressions if you are lying.

Ø Imagine a political debate where the Facial Expressions App is being used to tell the audience when the politicians are telling the truth and when they are not.


It’s going to be a (my) Dream Come True!


Would I kid u?


Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Here Today & Gone Tomorrow

We have 2 markers at the entrance to our subdivision.

Actually we no longer have 2 markers at the entrance to our subdivision because one of them was hit by a truck driver & demolished.


He was coming to the end of the road leading out of the adjacent subdivision, traveling in a 25 Mile Speed Zone & (as you can see in the last photo) he was fast approaching a Stop Sign at the Highway next to our sub.


I walk by that marker often.


Now I know why my Mother always told me to wear clean underwear because you never know.


Would I kid u?








Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Awards For Everything

Today there seems to be an awards show on TV every time I turn around. I even stopped turning around but that did not stop them from appearing on my TV.

I was going to use the Internet to compile a list of awards shows on TV but decided that I would burn out my computer keyboard trying to type all of them into the list. Here is a link to the search results that started out as “Awards Shows On TV”... http://www.yidio.com/category/awards-show?utm_source=Bing&utm_medium=Search&t_source=64&utm_campaign=472


The above link could have been the end of this Foolishness...Or Is It but I went a little further into the search & came up with an award within the ever expanding World of Awards that would certainly have made Ozzie & Harriett blush. (If you don’t know who Ozzie or Harriett were, Google Them!).


The Alliance of Women Film Journalists

Has An Award Entitled

“Best Depiction of Nudity, Sexuality, or Seduction”

I doubt that Ozzie & Harriett rolling over in their graves would be enough of a disruption to cause another California Earthquake but, if the word gets out among the Early Days of Television Dead Community in California about this “award”, I think we can expect a 7.6 on the Richter Scale.


Would I kid u?





Sunday, May 22, 2016

How Much Work Is No Work?

It seems there is a Law/Regulation/Or Something Or Other that says that actions taken by a President within 60 Congressional Work Days of leaving office can be Negated/Reversed/Or Some Such Thing by the new President.

The current administration is working very hard to get all they want done outside of this 60 Day Deadline. They are really in a panic!


Since you are sly, cunning & alert you are saying to yourself, “Why the panic? The President does not leave office till January 20, 2017. There is lots of time to get done what they want to get done. November 21, 2016 is a long ways away.”


Actually there is hardly any time left. The Key Words are “Congressional Work Days”. 60 Congressional Work Days is not November 21, 2016. Because our 9% Approval Rating Congress hardly ever works, 60 Congressional Work Days is tomorrow, May 23, 2016.


Are you upset? Are you outraged? Are you about to email your Duly Elected & demand that they get to work?


Not me. Can you imagine how much damage they could do if they worked hard?


Would I kid u?


Friday, May 20, 2016

I Claim To Be Really Smart But I’m Really Not

I don’t know everything but I do have you, my dear readers, to fill in the gaps in my knowledge. Please explain this to me.

What I Understand...

In 2011 the Fish & Wildlife Service convinced the Justice Department to file criminal indictments against 3 Oil Companies working in North Dakota’s Bakken Oil Fields for inadvertently killing 6 Ducks & 1 Phoebe.


What I Don’t Understand...

Two weeks ago the Fish & Wildlife Service opened public comment on “proposed improvements” to its eagle conservation program. It wants to extend the length of permits for accidental eagle kills from the current five years to 30 years.


The changes would allow wind-energy producers to kill or injure as many as 4,200 bald eagles every year. That’s a lot. The agency estimates there are now about 72,434 bald eagles in the continental U.S.


A 2013 study in the Wildlife Society Bulletin estimated that wind turbines killed about 888,000 bats and 573,000 birds (including 83,000 raptors) in 2012 alone.


That’s a lot of Bats & Birds but it’s worse now (& getting worse each year) because Wind Capacity has since increased by about 24%, and it could triple by 2030.


“We don’t really know how many birds are being killed now by wind turbines because the wind industry doesn’t have to report the data,” says Michael Hutchins of the American Bird Conservancy. “It’s considered a trade secret.”


America’s top wildlife protector is still bending over backward to accommodate an industry that is killing iconic wildlife while at the same time that industry is collecting huge subsidies from taxpayers.


There you have it. I know you can explain this to me. I’m so glad I have you out there to help me understand what I don’t understand.


Source: An Ill Wind: Open Season on Bald Eagles by Robert Bryce at the Wall Street Journal May 16, 2016.


Would I kid u?


Wednesday, May 18, 2016

This Is Really Confusing

He is 69 Years Old, but just when I think I really know the guy, he undergoes a name change.  

Up until now I thought his first name was “Donald”. Now I find out his first name is really “Presumptive”.


Would I kid u?


Tuesday, May 17, 2016

What The Heck Are You Talking About?

The world is moving on at breakneck speed & that’s a good thing...Or is it?

Yesterday, just after eating my bowl of cream of wheat & reading my newspaper, I decided I needed to go to the library because I wanted to read the biography of John Wayne. Since it was raining I decided to wear my galoshes. As I got off the streetcar I remembered I had to make a phone call, so I stepped into a phone booth.

(There was a time when phone booths were everywhere. Actually they still are everywhere but now they are called Automobiles.)


How soon we forget what we never knew. The youth of today never heard of many of the terms used in the above paragraph...

Ø Cream Of Wheat...Huh?

Ø Newspaper...Still a recognized term but it won’t be long.

Ø Library...What is that? Need to Google it!

Ø John Wayne...From personal experience I know the youth of today do not know who this man was.

Ø Galoshes...Must be some kind of Hungarian food.

Ø Phone Booth...They did see Superman jump in & out of one of these in his last movie but they did not know what he jumped in & out of.

Ø Streetcar...Today they call Uber or use the car their parents gave them 5 minutes after you got their Driver’s License. Actually, this is quite understandable because there are no street cars out there anyway.

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In my youth I knew what streetcars were for sure. I rode a streetcar & a bus every day to & from High School. It was a different world...

Ø It costs $.07 to ride & I got a piece of paper with 4 tear-off stubs on it that allowed me to transfer to 4 different streetcars or busses.

Ø I lived in New Orleans & one time I looked outside my streetcar during the fourth transfer & saw cactuses & a sign that said, “Welcome to Albuquerque”. (OK, I admit I exaggerated a bit with this one.)

Ø If you just missed a streetcar, you looked down the track to see if you could see the next one coming & usually you could see the next one coming.

Ø You would think to yourself, “I hope it’s not full”.

Ø Many times the next one was full.


You really did not want to wait very long because the mosquitoes were trying to carry you off into the bushes to finish you off. For some reason you were Mosquito Safe on the streetcar because they were not allowed to ride streetcars (or they did not have $.07).


Would I kid u?


Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Catch 22 Was A Great Book Because It Was Full Of Foolishness

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder Was the Unit Supply Officer

Yossarian Was the Rebellious Hero Of Catch 22

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Yossarian, I want you to do something for me. [Removes item from small bag]

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: I want to serve this to the men. Taste it and let me know what you think. [Yossarian takes a bite]

Yossarian: What is it?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Chocolate-covered cotton.

Yossarian: What are you, crazy?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: No good, huh?

Yossarian: For Christ's sake, you didn't even take the seeds out!

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Is it really that bad?

Yossarian: It's cotton!

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: They've got to learn to like it!

Yossarian: Why?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Look, I saw this great opportunity to corner the market in Egyptian cotton. How was I supposed to know there was going to be a glut? I've got a hundred warehouses stacked with the stuff all over the European theater. I can't get rid of a penny's worth. People eat cotton candy, don't they? Well this stuff is better - it's made out of real cotton.

Yossarian: Milo, people can't eat cotton!

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: They've got to - it's for the Syndicate!

Yossarian: It will make them sick! - Why don't you try it yourself if you don't believe me?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: I did - And it made me sick.



Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka Was the Unit Medical Officer

Yossarian: Is Orr crazy?

Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: Of course he is. He has to be crazy to keep flying after all the close calls he's had.

Yossarian: Why can't you ground him?

Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: I can, but first he has to ask me.

Yossarian: That's all he's gotta do to be grounded?

Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: That's all.

Yossarian: Then you can ground him?

Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: No. Then I cannot ground him.

Yossarian: Aah!

Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: There's a CATCH?

Yossarian: A catch?

Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: Sure. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat isn't really crazy, so I can't ground him.

Yossarian: Ok, let me see if I've got this straight. In order to be grounded, I've got to be crazy. And I must be crazy to keep flying. But if I ask to be grounded, that means I'm not crazy anymore, and I have to keep flying.

Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: You got it, that's Catch-22.

Yossarian: Whoo... That's some catch, that Catch-22.

Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: It's the best there is.


It probably does not surprise you that the Smartfella liked this book.


Would I kid u?


Monday, May 09, 2016

In Congress They Refer To Each Other As “Honorable”

We see them all the time in the news. They are up on stages making speeches & accepting awards. They are always waving at us as if they know us. When they shake our hands, we are certain that they know us.

The “they” referred to above are our Elected Politicians (aka: Rulers). Everyone knows they are dishonest. Heck, one is even named Swindle. Another is named, Flake. The third's given name has long been forgotten by his minions. They just call him, "Dat Crook".


My newspaper insists on referring to Swindle, Flake & Dat Crook as, "Dignitaries".


I’m going to Google the definition of the word, "Dignitary". I must have it mixed up with some other word.


Would I kid u?


Thursday, May 05, 2016

I Keep Thinking I’ve Seen It All & Then There’s More

The Oakland Police are falling all over themselves apologizing for trying to keep people in Oakland from driving drunk & possibly killing themselves or others.

Their unforgivable offense was they issued their warning about a holiday that is linked to a certain group of people. It does not matter which group of people. What matters is, in this age of Political Correctness, we are not allowed to name or imply anything negative about anyone or any group of ones.


In this case they displayed their insensitivity about Latinos & Mexican-Americans & the minor holiday in Mexico, but major holiday in the Good Ole USofA, Cinco de Mayo.


One of the offended issued this heartfelt statement, “I don’t drink and drive. If you ask the majority of people who are Latino or Mexican-American, we don’t drink and drive,” Oakland City Councilman Noel Gallo told KPIX 5.


I have been known to be picky on many an occasion. Allow me to be picky on this occasion... The Councilman says that “the majority” of Latinos & Mexican-Americans do not drink & drive. Does that mean the Councilman has no concern for the minority of Latinos & Mexican-Americans who do drink & drive? Is it permissible to warn the drinkers & drivers that they should not drink & drive?


I am willing to bet that the now-sensitive Oakland Police are in the process of word processing their Community Messages about... St. Patrick’s Day, the 4th of July, New Years Eve, LeBron James’ Birthday & many others.


If you have not had enough of Silly for today, you can click on this link & read all about it: http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2016/05/03/oakland-police-apologize-after-insensitive-cinco-de-mayo-drunk-driving-message/


Would I kid u?



Lagniappe: If the Fella would meet up with the Councilman at Starbucks & say to him, “What are you getting so excited about”, he would probably put me in my place by responding, “I am offended that you are not offended”. That would shut me up for sure. Who can argue with that logic?

Sunday, May 01, 2016

The Good Old Days Were Really Good

A Movie from the Old Days ... “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington”

This movie is about:

Ø Trying to do the Honorable Thing.

Ø Anguish because Honor has been attacked.

Ø Full of references to Freedom.

Ø Guilt for wrongs done.

Ø Confession of wrongs done.

Ø Innocence proven in the end.


A Modern Movie ... “Bridget Jones’s Baby”

This movie is about:

Ø Obsession with Love Life.

Ø Becoming Pregnant (“Pregnant” is referred to as “Knocked Up”).

Ø Not knowing who the Father of the Baby is.


I like the Old Days.


Would I kid u?