Saturday, November 07, 2015

How To Get Elected President Of The United States

Here is what happens...

  • In the early months of the year before the actual election, Dudley Do Right clip_image002announces his candidacy for President of the United States.
  • Hardly anyone pays attention except lots of articles are written telling the voting public that no one is paying attention.
  • Dudley works very hard to get the voting public to pay attention to him.
  • One day his campaign catches fire & he starts moving up in the polls.
  • Land O Goshen! all of a sudden the voting public pays attention & Dudley is declared The Front Runner!
  • The next day the attacks start & the voting public is told that he is an awful person, he did awful things in grammar school, he was not popular in high school, he was seen by an unnamed source jumping over a turnstile in the New York City subway, he dipped Peggy Sue’s pig tail in the ink well on his desk on multiple occasions & one time he stole a Twinkie for a convenience store.
  • The next day he loses his Front Runner Designation either because he vehemently defends himself which we are told proves he is guilty or because he says nothing which we are told proves he is guilty.

Oh yea, back to the Subject of this Foolishness, I need to tell you How To Get Elected President Of The United States...

  • Wait till 2 days before the election itself to announce your candidacy.
  • Hope to catch fire the next day.
  • Get elected the next day before the news media finds out about Peggy Sue.

There you are! You are now the most powerful man in the world. You are smart. People step aside as you approach & stare admiringly as you walk by. You are POTUS!

The next day the news media finds out about Peggy Sue & you become Snidley Whiplash clip_image004& you are officially declared Toast.

The next day the Impeachment Proceedings start.

Have I just squashed your heretofore lifelong desire to be Dudley?

Would I kid u?