Tuesday, June 09, 2015

Presidential Candidate Nothing

The Subject of this Foolishness...Or Is It? is a little bit more confusing than is need be. That's because I truncated it into its shortened version. The complete subject is, "Presidential Candidate Said Nothing".

Is that not better? What did you just say? Did I just hear you say that "Presidential Candidate Said Nothing" does not clarify anything? Please allow me to try again.

In the Good Ole USofA today we are taking offence at darn near everything you can or cannot imagine. I just read in my newspaper where Nike, Inc. is in trouble because they are again offering a discount to members of the Law Enforcement Community.

This promotion began after the 9/11/01 Terrorist Attack on the World Trade Center but it is now drawing complaints because the promotion is being called insensitive given tensions over recent deaths of black men at the hands of the police.

I bet that when Nike came up with this idea back in 2001 they never thought they would be attacked over a promotion like this. They saw it as a sure winner.

Back to "Presidential Candidate Said Nothing".

Because anything that a Presidential Candidate says can now be turned into Controversy, I am contending that in the future (the present?) a Candidate that had a Non-Campaign will stand the best chance of getting elected. Here is a how it might work...

  • Go around the Good Ole USofA & wave as he/she descends the steps from his/her plane. (If you do or don’t mind I am going to cease & desist from putting in the “/she” & the “/her”. My fingers get tired pecking out my silliness & you must know by now that I am Politically Correct...Or do u?) After he waves & descends & can turn around & go back up the steps & fly to another community that is eagerly waiting to hear him not say anything.
  • He can make a point of hugging & kissing babies at every opportunity. If his campaign managers are really sharp they would have several babies at the bottom of each set of airplane stairs. This is what’s calling Campaign Location Efficiency.
  • If ever the candidate were to be forced to the point where he must answer a question, no matter what the question is, he should always give this answer...
    “That’s an excellent question. With regard to the substance of the issue you are raising I think it is essential that we consider the systematized reciprocal concept that this issue presents. Actually the optional incremental projection has a parallel in history when you consider that the compatible logistical time-phase is mitigated yet constrained by its integrated monitored capability.”
    The candidate’s minions would be stationed throughout the attentive throng shouting, “What an excellent answer!” or “That nails it!” or “What could be more precise & to the point!”

Considering how modern campaigns are so efficient, I have just seen a fly in my ointment. It’s the Babies. Can’t you just hear our Not Saying Anything Candidate’s Opponents Spin Machine issuing this statement?... “In all the history of campaigning across the Fruited Plain have you ever seen anything so heartless? Can you even imagine the anguish couples who cannot have babies of their own must feel as they see him kissing & holding & smiling? I am certain that the American Voter now sees him for what he is, a manipulative opportunist who does not feel the pain of his fellow Americans!”

Scratch The Babies!

Would I kid u?