Monday, June 01, 2015

Saving Our Country From Economic Disaster
Recently I was grazing through the Free Food Giveaway Stations at my local Costco & I was inspired to do a Blog Posting about the experience.
I started recording into my phone all the many food selections I was offered. The more I ate & the more I recorded the more I got excited about the Foolishness welling up inside of me.
I am always looking out for what I can do to divert the Good Ole USofA from its impending economic collapse & this one hit me like a bolt out of the blue (whatever that means).
First I will peck out for you the menu selections & then I will explain how Costco Can Save Our Country (I am fairly certain you will have seen it before I explain it...Or am I?)...
Ø Spinach Artichoke Dip
Ø Smoked Sausage
Ø Pizza
Ø Hot Dogs
Ø Chips
Ø Cheese
Ø Hawaiian Sweet Rolls with BBQ Brisket
Ø Mango Salsa with Peach on Tortilla Chips
Ø Tortilla Rolls with Guacamole
Ø Ragu Pasta Sauce on Mozzarella Breaded Cheese Sticks
Ø Buffalo Chicken Wings
Ø Panko Chicken
Ø Crab Spread
Ø Lobster Spread
Ø Honey Multi Grain Bread
Ø Cranberry Walnut Bread
Ø Crunchy French Bread
Ø Elbow Pasta Rigatoni
Ø Skimmed Shredded Mozzarella Cheese
Ø Smoked pulled pork w roaster pineapple & habanera sauce
Ø Mild Italian sausage
Ø Sport drink variety
That's quite a mouthful! If I had had my horse with me, I could have choked him. Heck, I probably could have choked my Hippopotamus!
Since you did not see my plan (as I hoped you might) here's my plan to save the Good Ole USofA...
Instead of issuing more & more Food Stamps (aks: Snap or EBT), the Federal Government could just buy all of these needy people an Annual Costco Membership & anytime they get hungry they could mosey over to Costco & graze around until they satisfy their hunger craving.
There it is. It is really quite simple, is it not? I remain amazed at why I seem to be the only one who sees the obvious.
I pushed my idea a little further. I called up the Food Stamp/SNAP/EBT Department in Washington D.C. & talked with a high ranking higher up. He immediately came back at me as soon as he heard my idea & said, "We could not possibly do that". Dumbfounded I asked why & he said, "Because that would work like a charm & would save the Federal Government a lot of money".
As a testament to how far we have been beaten down I just let it drop. I am sad to say that I understood perfectly well that he was telling me the unvarnished truth.
Would I kid u?
Lagniappe: How about some What Ifs?
Ø What if Costco could not handle the volume?
Answer: The Federal Government should tell them they had to build more stores.
Ø What if Costco started to go out of business?
Answer: The Federal Government should pass a Law telling them that they were not allowed to go out of business.

I just hope the Good Ole USofA can keep from imploding long enough to allow time for the Federal Government to fix everything.