Friday, October 30, 2015

I Am Here To Propose The Obvious…Again

We are all well aware of the unfortunate incident in Baltimore where an Arrested Individual tried to injure himself while being transported in a police van. We now have seen a similar unfortunate occurrence in my local county.
Our poor unfortunate Arrested Individual was very intoxicated when he was detained and he had to be helped to stand up and walk as he could not do so without assistance. Once inside the Transportation Van, in a fit, he reportedly went on to smash his head against the partition in the back of the patrol car and kick at the glass. He hit his head so hard on a partition that he knocked himself unconscious. Once he regained consciousness inside the hospital he again became irate & repeatedly tried to get out of the hospital bed & had to be restrained for his own good.
Something has to be done to relieve the plight of our Arrested Community.
My Proposal...
Being arrested is a very traumatic occurrence in the life of the people we arrest. They are many times not trained to be arrested. As a result of their uncertainty for the future, many in our Arrested Community freak out while being transported to wherever they are being transported.
I propose that their accommodations inside of Police Transportation Vans be dramatically changed...
  • We need to completely pad the inside of the van so that they cannot injure themselves while they bang their heads on the van’s padded interior.
  • This transportation experience can be dramatically enhanced by simply installing a Jacuzzi.
  • It goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway), a free padded gum ball machine ought to be installed in each van.
I am a strong advocate of absolutely no physical force ever being used by police against our Arrested Community but I feel equally strongly that any prisoner who refuses to leave the Transportation Van after his transportation experience has been completed should be yanked out of the van using whatever force is required.
Allowing any individual to remain longer than is necessary in the Transportation Van would be unfair to others of our Arrested Community who are looking forward to their transportation experience.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
Lagniappe: Maybe the Paddy Wagon (instead of the Transportation Van) was better for our Arrested Community? Whether it was or not, here is your Fella History Lesson for today:
Paddy Wagon was nickname given to a vehicle police use to transport prisoners. The name came from the New York Draft Riots of 1863. The Irish at the time were the poorest people in the city. When the draft was implemented it had a provision for wealthier people to buy a waiver. The Irish rioted, and the term Paddy (a common term used at that time to describe the Irish...Paddys or Pattys or Patricks) Wagon was coined.
AL

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sheer genius! Just think, after a long week at work all I have to do for some R&R is cut the head off of a parking meter and I know that a jacuzzi awaits!! I thought, to tell you the truth, that you were going to recommend 'getting arrested training.'