Friday, August 28, 2015

Something Is Basically Wrong With Us

Not A Lot Of Laughs In This One

I heard a radio talk show host kick this around the other day & now I’m going to kick it your way.

There was a time long ago (when I was young) that Americans would have too much pride to do what they are doing as described in the bullets below. I wish that there were only a few of us doing this but it appears there is an awful lot of people who are saying... I might as well take what I can. That’s what it’s for, right?

  • Handicapped Stickers used by people who are not handicapped.
  • People who have an income around $500,000 still taking subsidized housing payments in big cities because they qualified long ago when they were making less than $67,000.
  • People bringing Comfort Animals into public places saying they get comfort from their comfort animals. These companions are not just dogs. Some are getting comfort from Rabbits, Snakes, Pigs, etc.
  • People are getting Disability Payments who are in no way Disabled.
  • People on the Welfare Rolls who have lots of other income that the Government is not aware that they have.
  • A one-time respected oncologist who was caught lying to patients about their health, telling some who did not have cancer that they did have cancer in order to give them unnecessary chemotherapy treatment just so he could bill Medicare for the procedures.

This is the part of my blog where I would normally say something cute or play around with words. Not this time. I will turn this one over to someone a lot smarter than the Smartfella...

At about the time our original 13 states adopted their new constitution, in the year 1787, Alexander Tyler (a Scottish history professor at The University of Edinburgh) had this to say about "The Fall of The Athenian Republic" some 2,000 years prior.

"A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, (which is) always followed by a dictatorship."
"The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, these nations always progressed through the following sequence:
From Bondage to spiritual faith;
From spiritual faith to great courage;
From courage to liberty;
From liberty to abundance;
From abundance to complacency;
From complacency to apathy;
From apathy to dependence;
From dependence back into bondage."

Would Mr. Tyler kid u?



In a “Jaywalking” sketch on The Tonight Show, comedian host Jay Leno asked random people on the street to name one of the Ten Commandments. The most popular response given was "God helps those who help themselves."

Two “nos” & one “but” are applicable here... No, the phrase is not one of the Ten Commandments & No, the phrase does not come out of the Bible & But, it appears to be fast becoming one of the most popular “Commandments”.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Oh My Gosh! My County Rulers Are Reading My Blog!

On August 9, 2015 I published a Blog Posting entitled, My Visit To My Local County Park. It appears that the good people who rule my county may have read my Blog Posting.

Here is what I posted...

Second Example... Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond

During my park walks I pass right by a pond. It has a fence around it to prevent our park children from wandering into the Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond.


County law says that there ought to be a fence around the pond & there must be a Lock & Chain on the gate into the dangerous pond…

clip_image002  clip_image004

This law also is not specific enough. As you can see county workers have placed a strong lock & chain on the gate to the dangerous pond but the lock & chain are not locked. They are just hanging there.


Here is the addendum that should have been added by the sloppy law writers... “Once the Strong Chain & Padlock Have Been Placed on the Gate to the Dangerous Pond, the Padlock & Chain Should Be Used to Lock the Gate In Order To Keep Our Park Children from Drowning in the Dangerous Pond”.


Yesterday as I walked past the Dangerous Pond, I was surprised & pleased to see that the County has taken action...



I did such a good job putting the Fear of Social Media in them that they, not only locked the gate, but they put 3 locks on it.


I guess this could all be a coincidence & they could have been headed toward the gate with the securing mechanism as I pecked out my hit piece.


I’ll know for sure when I get my next property tax assessment. If there is a large increase in my taxes, I’ll know for certain they are reading Foolishness...Or Is It?.


If I have to pay more taxes, I will have no regrets. It’s the White Knight in me. When I see a wrong, I try & right it. I gotta do what I gotta do.


Would I kid u?


Sunday, August 23, 2015

Keeping You Informed

On February 4, 2008 I informed all of you who are smart enough to read my Foolishness about the conditions in Liberia, Africa.

Here is the entire blog posting...

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Raising Children Again

I wish I were just starting out raising my children ... You just said to yourself, "Self, is he nuts"? Allow me to explain.

If we were just beginning to have children I now have a fool-proof way of getting my children to eat their vegetables. I would look each of them into their tear-filled eyes and threaten to send them to live the rest of their lives in Liberia.

The quote below comes from the Atlanta Journal Constitution on 2/22/08. Notice the use of the words "overrun", "pervasive", "half", "not", "uninhabitable", "little" & "no". After you finish using these words there is not much left to lament...

"The country is overrun with weapons, malnutrition is pervasive, half of children are not in school, and many buildings are uninhabitable. There is little running water or electricity and no sewage or landline phone system."

The Liberian Tourist Bureau is left with something like...
"Come join us in Liberia. Is it is a terrible place to live but you don't live long."

Would I kid u?


Here is an article that will bring you up to date on the conditions in Liberia as of August 26, 2013:

Here is the gist of the news article (first 3 paragraphs) in case you decided not to click on the link above:

“Liberia's education minister says she finds it hard to believe that not a single candidate passed this year's university admission exam.

Nearly 25,000 school-leavers failed the test for admission to the University of Liberia, one of two state-run universities.

The students lacked enthusiasm and did not have a basic grasp of English, a university official told the BBC.”

I always try to help out my dear readers. In case you or your offspring are having trouble getting into college, here is a link to the University of Liberia’s Web Site. The above information makes it appear they have openings in their Freshman Class...

On Final Point: The article says Liberia has not gotten over the effects of their Civil War that ended a decade ago. The Smartfella believes that the Government’s Department of Getting Over Things ought to crank it up a bit.

Would I kid u?


Friday, August 21, 2015

The Smartfella Is Now Famous...Or Is He?

In October ‘14 I sent information about my little-read book into my College Alumni Magazine for possible insertion into their section devoted to Alumni Authors.

I then forgot that I had done what I just said I had done in the above paragraph.

Gadzooks! My forgotten submission has been inserted!...


Please be advised that I have now gone from being a little-known author who sold a few books to an author that a little more than a few have heard about who sold a little more than a few books.


I am so pleased with myself!


Would I kid u?


Thursday, August 20, 2015

You Are Trying Your Best To Fool The Court But Don’t For A Second Think You Can Fool The Federal Government

According to my newspaper...

“For young people trying to get a foot on the career ladder, internships offer valuable experience.”

“But lawsuits are mounting that claim the often unpaid positions violate U.S. labor laws, prompting experts to call for changes.”

“In March, media and entertainment company Viacom Inc. agreed to pay $7.2 million to end a class action lawsuit by former interns.”

The Smartfella is trying hard to understand this development. It looks to him that... A person needing experience in a particular field agrees to work as an Unpaid Intern in order to gain experience in that particular field. After working as an Unpaid Intern the, now Ex-Unpaid Intern, sues because his former Unpaid Intern Position was Unpaid.

Enter the U. S. Department of Labor to clarify this confusion. The Department executes its clarification responsibilities flawlessly by stipulating this flawless stipulation, The work must be educational, beneficial and supervised and that the employer derives no advantage from it.”

This is very helpful & the Department of Labor is to be commended but the Fella has a problem with, “the employer derives no advantage from it”.

This means that the business must go to all the trouble of Educating the Unpaid Intern & Benefiting the Unpaid Intern & Supervising the Unpaid Intern but, after all that is done, There Is To Be No Benefit Derived to the Business.

Planning ahead, in order to prevent finding themselves back in court defending themselves against charges as to whether or not they did Derive Benefit, businesses ought to become pro-active & hire Cubicle Chaos Creator Interns who would go into cubicles during bathroom breaks & do things like... break pencil points, disassemble ball point pens & hiding their several parts in several trash cans throughout the workplace, empting desk drawers into other desk drawers, etc.

No lawyer could possibly argue in court that the Business Derived Benefit from such activities... Or could they?


Would I kid u?


Lagniappe: Once the Cubicle Chaos Creator has been created will his creativity naturally evolve into?...


I hope not.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Earth Day 1970 Predictions

Here are some of the predictions made on Earth Day 1970...

Ø “Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind.” George Wald, Harvard Biologist.

Ø “Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years.”
• Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

Ø  “Demographers agree almost unanimously on the following grim timetable: by 1975 widespread famines will begin in India; these will spread by 1990 to include all of India, Pakistan, China and the Near East, Africa. By the year 2000, or conceivably sooner, South and Central America will exist under famine conditions….By the year 2000, thirty years from now, the entire world, with the exception of Western Europe, North America, and Australia, will be in famine.”
• Peter Gunter, professor, North Texas State University

Ø “Scientists have solid experimental and theoretical evidence to support…the following predictions: In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution…by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half….”
• Life Magazine, January 1970

Ø  “Dr. S. Dillon Ripley, secretary of the Smithsonian Institute, believes that in 25 years, somewhere between 75 and 80 percent of all the species of living animals will be extinct.”
• Sen. Gaylord Nelson

Ø “The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age.”
• Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

Wisdom from the Fella... Despite all of the above, I am still a strong supporter of Earth Day because it is the only planet known to have Cannoli.



Would I kid u?


Lagniappe: Continuing Your Education... Until I did research for this Foolishness I thought “Cannoli” was singular & I never gave a second thought as to what the plural was. “Cannolo” is the singular & “Cannoli” is the plural. This tidbit of info makes the last sentence of the blog above grammatically correct.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Beware Of Greeks Bearing Confusion

The world has been very hard on Greece recently for its Financial Crisis. It seems like everyone knew how to fix it except the person who was proposing how to fix it.

An agreement was recently reached to resolve the Financial Crisis...again. We all wish the Greeks luck but they may need more than luck.

The Smartfella, in my capacity as advisor to the world, am of the opinion that a major reason why the Greeks have been having so much difficulty resolving this seemingly never ending crisis is the confusion that is engrained in the very fabric of their society because of the names that they have chosen to call themselves.

Here is a sampling of everyday Greek names, Papageorgiou, Mavromoustafakis, Papadopoulos, Georgiades, Petropoulos, Sotiropoulos, Georgiadis, Panagopoulos, Stavropoulos, Georgopoulos, Stathopoulos & Gianopoulos.

I don’t want to be contentious but I contend it is not possible to read through the above name list & not become confused. You find yourself confused & you are just reading a silly blog posting. The poor Greeks are faced with this verbal assault every day!

It could be worse. In his comedy Assemblywomen (c. 392 BC) Aristophanes coined the 173-letter word λοπαδο­τεμαχο­σελαχο­γαλεο­κρανιο­λειψανο­δριμ­υπο­τριμματο­σιλφιο­καραβο­μελιτο­κατακεχυ­μενο­κιχλ­επι­κοσσυφο­φαττο­περιστερ­αλεκτρυον­οπτο­κεφαλλιο­κιγκλο­πελειο­λαγῳο­σιραιο­βαφη­τραγανο­πτερύγων.

This was a fictional food dish consisting of a combination of fish, poultry and other meat. It is cited as the longest ancient Greek word ever written.

Another comedy writer of some note, Shakespeare, just entered my blogging room looked over my shoulder & asked a very pertinent question, “Would λοπαδο­τεμαχο­σελαχο­γαλεο­κρανιο­λειψανο­δριμ­υπο­τριμματο­σιλφιο­καραβο­μελιτο­κατακεχυ­μενο­κιχλ­επι­κοσσυφο­φαττο­περιστερ­αλεκτρυον­οπτο­κεφαλλιο­κιγκλο­πελειο­λαγῳο­σιραιο­βαφη­τραγανο­πτερύγων by any other name taste as sweet?”

Would I kid u?


Thursday, August 13, 2015

Major Mischief!

My newspaper has hit the proverbial nail on its proverbial head!

For decades now Iran has been supplying its evil minions in the Middle East with the materials & finances to blow up Iraqi Soldiers, American Soldiers, Iraqi Civilian Men, Iraqi Civilian Women, Outdoor Public Markets, Mosques, Wedding Receptions, Schools, Police In & Out Of Their Stations, etc.

Now my newspaper has expressed a new concern of Middle Eastern leaders...

They fear their arch-rival Iran is on the verge of making Major Mischief in the region.

Oh my gosh! This is awful! Not Major Mischief!

This can only mean that all those people harmed in the past must have been harmed by Minor Mischief.

Would I kid u?


Tuesday, August 11, 2015

No Trash On The Streets Of The Good Ole USofA

With all the people that have been given Community Service Sentences in recent years, there should not be any trash on the streets of the Good Ole USofA.

I just read where a woman was given 240 hours of Community Service for cutting off Rottweiler’s tails without the State’s or the Rottweilers’ permission.

Every few days we hear about some Celebrity being given a Community Service Sentence. I have never seen a single Celebrity on TV performing their Community Service.

You know darn well that photographers would be following them around while they were out & about serving their fellow man, if they were out there serving their fellow man. Lord knows they follow them whenever they do everything else...

Ø Jennifer & Chuck going out for a burger & fries.

Ø Cue Tip getting his hair cut.

Ø Sean getting divorced again.

Ø Holly getting married again.

Ø Shirley sunbathing when she was fat & sunbathing after she was no longer fat.

Ø Austin driving his sports car.

Ø Sean divorced again.

Ø Holly getting married again.

Does anyone keep track of all these Community Service Sentences? How do we know that they performed all or any of their sentences?

I have noticed many judges in court winking as they handed down these Community Service Sentences. Up until now I thought all these judges had nervous twitches but I have seen the light.

The Fella now believes that all these sentences are being handed out simply to make us feel that something is being done when actually nothing is being done.  

On the other hand, if you stop & think about it, why should they have to abide by their Community Service Sentences? They are important & we’re not.

Would I kid u?



Sunday, August 09, 2015

My Visit To My Local County Park

Considering That Our Local, State & Federal Governments Write About 700 New Laws Every Week (My Wild Guess But Probably On The Low Side) You would Think They Would Be Better At Coming Up With Laws That Would Not Be So Full Of Loop Holes

I’ve been Heavy Duty Walking for several months now. I am using Nordic Sticks when I walk (pushing with walking sticks that look like ski poles). The sticks dramatically increase calorie burn & exercise of my upper body. I have never seen anyone else in my park with these sticks. Some of the people I pass ask me if I am sick (Multiple Sclerosis) & the rest think I am crazy. 


Wow! This Blog Posting has started off with a major digression! Allow me to get back to Sloppy Law Writing which is the reason for this bit of foolishness....


First Example... Handicapped Door Opening Buttons

There is a law that says that all rest rooms in my local county park should have a button installed next to the door for handicapped resters to use when trying to exit the restrooms…

image  image

The left picture is the door & the door opening button with the door closed. The right picture is the door opening button being pushed but the door staying closed. This button has not worked in any of the park’s 3 public restrooms for the 12 years I have been visiting this park.


Here is the addendum that should have been added by the sloppy law writers... “The button should open the door when it is pushed”.


Second Example... Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond

During my park walks I pass right by a pond. It has a fence around it to prevent our park children from wandering into the Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond.


County law says that there ought to be a fence around the pond & there must be a Lock & Chain on the gate into the dangerous pond…

image  image

This law also is not specific enough. As you can see county workers have placed a strong lock & chain on the gate to the dangerous pond but the lock & chain are not locked. They are just hanging there.


Here is the addendum that should have been added by the sloppy law writers... “Once the Strong Chain & Padlock Have Been Placed on the Gate to the Dangerous Pond, the Padlock & Chain Should Be Used to Lock the Gate In Order To Keep Our Park Children from Drowning in the Dangerous Pond”.


Last Example... Doggie Poop Control

It is a well known fact that people in the Good Ole USofA do not like Dog Poop. In an effort to make it convenient for Dog Owners to pick up their doggie’s poop after their pooping doggie has pooped, our county has made it easy for Poop Picker Uppers to pick up their cute little dog’s poop by passing a law that Plastic Bag Dispensers be placed in our county parks.

image  image

Here is the addendum that should have been added by the sloppy law writers... “County Workers Are to See to it that Plastic Bags Are Placed in the Plastic Bag Dispensers Whenever All Plastic Bags Have Been Dispensed”.              


Would I kid u?



Poopy Lagniappe #1...image


Poopy Lagniappe #2... One time when I was living in California, I saw an Asian Lady on her knees in the gutter holding a small red plastic shovel at the Poop Ejection Point of her Cute Little Doggie which was pooping on the grass above the gutter.


Poopy Lagniappe #3... Picture this in your mind’s eye. What if a creature from outer space had just arrived over the Earth & was hovering above a Doggie Owner while he picked up the poop of his Cute Little Doggie. Which would the space creature think was the Superior Being, the Cute Little Doggie or the Cute Little Doggie Owner?

Monday, August 03, 2015

A Sign Of The Times

I recently blogged about the Good Ole USofA’s obsession in with Lists.

One of the most often published Lists is the Ten Richest People in the United States...

Based on What I Am Seeing More & More Of Each & Every Day, How Long Will It Be Before 7 Of The 10 Richest People Will Be Tattoo Artists?

Would I kid u?


Lagniappe #1: In the first paragraph I almost typed, “Ten Richest Men in the United States”. What do you wanna bet that, if I had done that, I would have received more than a few Death Threats? Smile

Lagniappe #2: If you wanna read my Lists Blog Posting again, click here: