Monday, July 27, 2015

Am I Smarter Than Policemen Too?

My newspaper tells me that a person has been arrested in Los Angeles for robbing 5 banks between March & July of this year.

The police are perplexed about why he robbed the banks. The newspaper article says, “No motive for the crime is spelled out in the complaint”.

I could use some extra money. I should print up some business cards & set up a blog offering myself as a Professional Confusion Remover to police departments all across the Fruited Plain.

I could start with this case which is baffling the Los Angeles Police Department. It would not take long. I would walk into the midst of the confusion & say, The reason he took the money is he wanted the money. Pay me my stipulated exorbitant Confusion Removal Fee & I’ll be on my way. There a lot of confusion out there & I have work to do in other locales”.

I would be like a Super Hero. Maybe I’ll start wearing a cape. I’ll skip wearing a mask because I enjoy having the world know who I am...Or do they?

Would I kid u?


Thursday, July 23, 2015

The Demise Of The Whitman Sampler Is Costing Us Dearly

This is what used to happen when someone sought forgiveness...

  • The Feeling So Badly Person would go to the corner drug store & buy a box of Whitman Sampler Chocolate Candies & bring it to the person from whom they wanted forgiveness.
  • They would approach the person whom they wanted forgiveness from & hand them the Whitman Sampler Chocolate Candies & express their sorrow for having given offense.
  • The offended person would accept the candy & smile & say, “Oh, you did not have to do that. It was nothing”.

For a moment the Forgiveness Seeking Person would think to himself, “Darn! I spent $1.75 & it was nothing!”

This $1.75 thought would be fleeting & both parties would shake hands (Now we hug because that’s what we do today, we hug on every possible occasion) & all would be forgiven.


Fast forward to today...

Last week the Chattanooga Coo Coo decided he was going to go out & shoot as many people as he could. In today’s paper we get this explanation from his family...

“Members of Mohammod Youssuf Abdulazeez's family believe deep depression and shame over a drunken driving charge may have led him to go on a rampage in which five U.S. servicemen died last week, a source close to the family said on Tuesday.

Substance abuse combined with long-standing psychological issues appears to have stirred up intense religious guilt, driving Abdulazeez to find forgiveness in a violent outburst, they believe.”

There you have it is a proverbial nutshell. He needed forgiveness. In the old days he would have gone & bought a box of chocolates but in the new days he goes out & kills people.

Some say the craziness in the world today is a pendulum & it is going to swing back but the Smartfella has great fear that someone has Super Glued that ole pendulum in place.

Would I kid u?


Lagniappe: I personally think we hug too much but Jana Christy does not agree with me...

“Hugs can be tricky! But you can learn how to hug. Never hug anyone too tight—ouch! And don’t hug too many people at once—uh-oh! You can be a leg hugger or a bear hugger or a surprise hugger. If you don’t want a hug, it’s okay to say so. But if you learn how to give a hug and do it just right, you might get one be ready! Jana Christy’s digital illustrations provide a charming twist to something everyone loves to do.”

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Where Has Our Ability To Discuss Issues Gone?

If one of us dares bring up a Sensitive Issue, the other of us immediately begins to take offense. The problem is how Modern Us defines a Sensitive Issue. A Sensitive Issue is any issue where our opinion is different from the Other Guy’s Opinion of that Same Issue.

When it comes to Solar Power the Other Guy is stupid. There does not seem to be any possibility of one side of the argument thinking that the other side of the argument is not Stupid, Unthinking, Devious & a Bunch of Other Unkind Adjectives.

Is it possible to have a meeting of minds? Probably not but I’m going to give it a try anyway. Wish me luck...


Above is the 2.2 Billion Dollar Ivanpah Solar-Thermal Plant in California which uses thousands of mirrors to reflect sunlight and generate steam.

There have been a series of missteps and technical difficulties that threaten to make this newfangled solar-thermal technology obsolete.

Here are facts that the Pro-Solar Side do not want to come to grips with...

Ø Solar Power has a long way to go before it will be able to fulfill the predictions/dreams of those who support it.

Ø Some costly high-tech solar power projects aren’t living up to promises their backers made about how much electricity they could generate.

Ø The Ivanpah Plant was supposed to generate more than a million megawatt-hours of electricity each year but, 15 months after it started up, it is producing just 40% of that prediction.

Ø Replacing broken equipment and learning better ways to operate the complex assortment of machinery has stalled attempts to reach full potential.

Ø Engineers have had to fix leaky tubes connected to water boilers and contend with a vibrating steam turbine that threatened nearby equipment.

Ø The power plant requires far more steam to run smoothly and efficiently than originally thought. Instead of ramping up the plant each day before sunrise by burning one hour’s worth of natural gas to generate steam, the plant needs more than four times that much help from fossil fuels to get the plant humming every morning.

Ø Another unexpected problem: not enough sun. Weather predictions for the area underestimated the amount of cloud cover that has blanketed the area since it went into service in 2013.

Plant operators say their plants will reach power targets once the kinks are worked out.

The short paragraph above makes my point for me. Below is what I think the argument of the Fossil Fuel Proponents ought to be (I’m a True Conservationist because I only use one bullet)...

Ø Until such time as Solar Power can replace Fossil Fuel Production, can we halt attempts to shut down Fossil Fuel Production?

My crazy argument is simply that. If we were to shut down all Fossil Fuel Production immediately, as some propose, it would be impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel (or even crank up the Ivanpah Solar-Thermal Plant each morning).

Would I kid u?


Lagniappe: A couple of other points to consider...

Ø The plant was delayed several months and had millions of dollars in cost overruns because of wildlife protections for the endangered Desert Tortoise.

Ø Once built, U.S. government biologists found the plant’s superheated mirrors were killing birds. It is estimated that 3,500 birds died at the plant in the span of a year, many of them burned alive while flying through a part of the solar installment where air temperatures can reach 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit.

Yea, I know my bringing up these 2 Lagniappe Bullets makes me Stupid, Unthinking, Devious & a Bunch of Other Unkind Adjectives. It seems like we are back to where this Blog Posting started, does it not?

Friday, July 17, 2015

Denying The Obvious Is Obvious

The arithmetic is simple. It is beyond the Fella’s well developed powers of understanding to understand how so very few of us see the impending disaster that is in front of us.

Did I hear you just say to yourself, “I wonder where the Fella is as he pecks out this Posting?” (It is amazing how I can hear what my Dear Readers are saying to themselves.)


I am in the Wilderness Crying. I am getting used to being a Voice Crying in the Wilderness. It is very lonely out here.


Here is the simple arithmetic referred to above simply stated...

Ø A person has a fixed income of $100.

Ø It has been fixed at $100 for many years.

Ø There are no prospects of this income increasing.

Ø This person has fixed expenses of $150.

Ø These expenses have been rising for many years.

Ø There are no prospects of these expenses decreasing because our person has no intention of decreasing his expenses.


The person goes to his local bank & asks to borrow $10,000. His banker asks him questions...

Ø Question: Are you going to be getting an increase in income in the future?

Ø Answer: No way possible.

Ø Question: Are you going to be able to reduce your expenses?

Ø Answer: I have no intention of reducing my expenses.


The banker says: “That’s excellent! Here is your $10,000”.


This scenario is repeated many times with the same result...The loan is always approved & the amount loaned gets bigger each time.

This does not make sense!

If you would like to understand how this makes sense, contact the people running (the percent figure is the Annual Budget Shortfall at end of 2012)...

Ø Camden, NJ 20.2%

Ø Honolulu, HI 5.1%

Ø Washington, DC 3.4%

Ø New York, NY 7.0%

Ø Cincinnati, OH 20.0%

Ø San Francisco, CA 5.5%

Ø Los Angeles, CA 6.6%

Ø Baltimore, MD 15.0%

Ø Detroit, MI 5.0%

Ø Chicago, IL 7.7%

I know they can explain it to you.

Would they kid u?



Lagniappe: Oops! How could I forget? Be sure to also contact the people running the Good Ole USofA.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

You Won’t Believe How Old This Blog Posting Is But, Even Though It Has Been A Long Time Since I first Pecked It Out, Nothing Has Changed

I started pecking out this Foolishness...Or Is It? about this time in the year 2007. I put it into my “New in Process” folder (that’s where I put blog ideas I am working on) & proceeded to forget about it.

Time marched on but it is as valid today as the day I forgot about it.


Nothing has changed. Actually a few Members of Congress have been voted out of office but the sad truth is A Few Ain’t Many. To be more precise, A Few Ain’t Enough.


Here is my blog about what Congress was doing in 2007...


The Congress is wasting its (our) time. They appear to believe that they can pass an Amendment, a Law, express a Sense of the Congress, hold someone in Contempt of Them & something out in the real world is affected by what they do.


Today (July 17, 2007) our Senate passed the amendment shown below by a vote of 94 to 3. It looks like only 3 Senators saw this amendment the same as the Smartfella saw it... A Colossal Waste of Time.


Senate Amendment 2100

Sponsor: Sen Cornyn, John [TX] (R) (submitted 7/11/2007) (proposed 7/12/2007)

To express the sense of the Senate that it is in the national security interest of the United States that Iraq not become a failed state and a safe haven for terrorists.


No matter what they do from now on about Iraq (ie: they could vote to stop giving our military in Iraq bullets to defend themselves) 94 of them could say to their constituents, "I voted that Iraq not become a failed state and a safe haven for terrorists. The fact that it became a failed state & a safe haven for terrorists is not my fault because I voted against it."


Since they seem intent on going about passing useless amendments, they should do something about all the mosquitoes that keep biting the Folks Back Home (that’s us). Here is what I propose that they should have proposed:


To express the sense of the Senate that it firmly believes it is in the national security interest of the United States that something need to be done about all the mosquitoes in the Good Ole USofA biting the folks back home. Since we also have lots of flies, the Senate hereby directs our flies to start eating our mosquitoes.


Did I just hear you say to your collective selves, “That’s silly”? Well the Fella has this to say about that... This Flies Eating Mosquitoes Amendment Makes As Much Sense As Senate Amendment 2100.


Would I kid u?



Tuesday, July 07, 2015

Would George Washington Be Ashamed Of Himself?

We see it happen over & over. Dudley Do-Rightimagegets elected to Congress. He is a Straight Shooting Extremely Honest Person. He sets about doing Straight Shooting Extremely Honest Things. He & we are proud about how Straight Shooting Extremely Honest he is.

His Straight Shooting Extremely Honest Virtues are noticed by old time members of Congress who were once Straight Shooting Extremely Honest People. They have taken notice of him because they are getting wet by the waves he is generating & their once nicely laid out feathers have become ruffled.

An old timer is assigned to Dudley in order to Straighten Out the Straight Shooter. The Old Timer invites Dudley into the Cloak Room & says to him, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

From that point on, it is just a matter of time. Little by little our Straight Shooting Extremely Honest Dudley is changed into Extremely Dastardly Dudley.image 

What does all of this have to do with George Washington? Obviously this transformation would never have happened to the Father of Our Country who never told a lie.

Going along to get along is a Powerful Driving Force in our 9% Approval Rated Congress but Ole George’s Honesty would have remained intact... Or would it have?

Would I kid u?


Saturday, July 04, 2015

The Age Of Enya

Mankind has passed through many Ages. We have had The Ice Age, The Stone Age, The Bronze Age, The Iron Age, The Dark Ages, The Middle Ages, Rock of Ages, Age of Enlightenment (too bad this one got away from us), The Atomic Age, etc.

The daily news is sometimes usually always depressing but I am fighting back. I have officially entered The Age of Enya. From now on, as I drive along in my car, I am not listening to the daily news but will be listening to Enya CDs.


I am determined to stop listening to my radio shout at me about all that is wrong, is going wrong &, most depressing of all, all of these wrong things are things that I can’t do anything about except worry about all these wrong things that I can’t do anything about.


If you are saying to yourself “Who or what is an Enya?”, I feel sorry that you have gotten this far in your life not knowing who Enya is.


Enya is a musical person (she is more than a mere singer) who comes to our ears from Ireland.


It is an awesome experience driving (floating) down a highway listening to Enya...


If you go to the site I just gave you, you will find a link entitled “Lyrics”. DO NOT CLICK ON IT! I have listened to Enya for many years & I do not understand the words & I do not want to understand the words. Enya is the sounds she emits, not the words. If I every understood the words, it might spoil it all for me...Or would it?


Would I kid u?



Friday, July 03, 2015

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Do you hate someone who is always right? If so, you hate the Smartfella. I can’t help it. There actually was an occasion where I made a mistake. I had come to the conclusion that I had made a mistake but, as it turned out, I had not made a mistake. My mistake was thinking I had made a mistake.

Boy, am I glad that first paragraph is done with because I was getting confused.


Back on 2/19/13 I published a Blog Posting (lagniappe link below) that almost dared to say I was feeling sorry for BP because they had become the Federal Government’s Gift That Keeps on Giving.


Another “Final” (there’s that word again) Agreement has been reached for BP to pay another $18,700,000,000. Quoting ABC News...

“Trying to close the books on the worst offshore oil spill in U.S. history, BP agreed Thursday to provide billions of dollars in new money to five Gulf Coast states in a deal the company said would bring its full obligations to an estimated $53.8 billion.”


Do you see the ominous word for BP? It’s “trying”. Trying means it is not Final (there’s that word again).


While we all know that ABC never gives us bad information, the Fella often quotes more than one source to prove his point. My local newspaper tells me...

“BP will pay up to $18.7 billion in penalties to the U.S. government and five states to resolve nearly all claims from its deadly Gulf of Mexico oil spill five years ago in the largest corporate settlement in U.S. history.”


Do you see the ominous words for BP? It’s “nearly all”. Nearly All means it is not Final (there’s that word again).


I’d be willing to bet you dollars to donuts that, when they saw the Omnious Words above, umpteen lawyers throughout The Fruited Plain texted each other from their Palatial BP Mansions... “Yahoo! The Ominous Words are in there!”


Hey, BP, count your bleesings! The Exxon Valdez ran aground on March 24, 1989 & their Litigation Headaches show no signs of coming to an end. At least you are flirting with Finality.


Would I kid u?



Lagniappe: The link to my prior blog posting about BP...


Lagniappe #2: If you are a long time reader of my Foolishness, you knew this was coming... $53.8B is not as small as $53.8B looks like it is. This is 53.8 Thousand Million Dollars & a Million is a Thousand Thousands. That’s a lot of Palatial Mansions.