Friday, February 27, 2015

CNN Is On Top Of The Story! ... Or Are They?

I watched a news piece on CNN yesterday about Jihadi John.
As part of the piece CNN interviewed British people who knew him & in reporting what they said about him CNN used the words... Kind, Gentle, Humble, Grateful, Intelligent, Somewhat Quiet & Respectful.
There must be some other adjectives that CNN could have found to use, if they tried a little harder.
CNN also said, while Jihadi John was still in England, British authorities were keeping tabs on him as a terrorist suspect & he was upset saying he was being harassed.
If a headline to this "being harassed" part of the story were written it might look like this... "Terrorist Upset Because British Authorities Are Treating Him As If He Were A Terrorist".
Would I kid u?

Thursday, February 26, 2015

In The Ole Days Some Of Us Thought It Was The New Days

In the late 1960's I was a traveler with Ford Motor Company. The company gave us $5.50 Food Allowance per day. As meager as such an allowance seems by today's standards I usually did alright.

Some of us tried to stretch the envelope by staying in motel rooms that cost $14 a night instead of our usual $9 per night accommodations but Ford caught on to what we were doing & put a stop to that wasteful spending, in no uncertain terms.

We were called into the District Office on a Monday morning before we headed out to our zones (very unusual meeting time) & told, in no uncertain terms, to get back where we belonged ($9 per night accommodations).

Those were the Ole Days. Today some upper crust hotels are charging $40 just for the use of Wi-Fi in their rooms.

Such hotels are the ones that used to cost $14 per night but now cost $200 per night. Thank heaven the $9 per night hotels are the still out there but now they cost $90 per night.

The strange thing is, if you spend $90 per night, the Wi-Fi is free but, if you spend $200 per night, the Wi-Fi costs $40 per night.

Guess this is what is called New Math... $90 is $90 but $200 is $240.


On a related note (whatever that means), recently we stayed at a nice hotel & while checking in I asked the desk clerk if we received a free breakfast in the morning. The very nice young man (& he was very nice) looked me right in my cheap eyes & said, "No, sir. We are a full service hotel".

Would I kid u?



Monday, February 23, 2015

Regarding My Last Blog, Here Is An Entertaining Way Of Saying The Same Thing

If you are one that says, "I never watch Fox News", make an exception this time. This is simply a short but entertaining way of looking at what I looked at in my last blog posting... After You Die, You May Not Be Dead.

Read it or simply click on the 2 minute & 45 second video & sit back and enjoy Common Sense with a Chuckle Staring An Italian Grandmother...

Would I or Neil's Grandmother kid u?



Saturday, February 21, 2015

After You Die, You May Not Be Dead

Did the above catchy title catch your attention because it confused you? I didn't really mean to confuse you...Or did I?

The World Of Nutrition has been telling us that many of the things that were bad for our health for the last 40 years have turned out to be not bad for us after all. It now becoming apparent that many of these bad things are actually needed in a Healthy Diet (formerly known as an Unhealthy Diet).

In other words, those of us who died from eating things in the Unhealthy Diet just might not have died after all because the Unhealthy Diet Foods were actually good for us, therefore, they were probably still alive after they died.

If it were not for me, the above paragraph would be confusing but that's why I have just explained it all in such clear language. That's why I'm called ClearAsMudFella.


Some supporting documentation to prove that this bit of Foolishness is based on fact...

Cholesterol May Not Be As Bad As We Once Thought: (click & read as much as you can stand).

The U.S. Is About To Drop Its Decades-Old Warning Against Cholesterol: (click & read as much as you can stand).


Self-proclaimed Food Babe Vani Hari said in The Atlantic (click & read as much as you can stand)... “There is just no acceptable level of any chemical to ingest, ever.”

Commenting on her comment a MattS wrote... "Since all foods, even 100% natural foods are completely made up of chemicals, what does Ms Vani Hari eat, unicorn farts?"


On a personal note... A few months back my doctor put this Fella on Lipitor to reduce his cholesterol. The drop in my cholesterol levels has been so dramatic that it has become apparent that, after I die, they are going to have to take my cholesterol out of me & beat it to death with a stick.

If what I read in above link about cholesterol (2nd link) is true, higher levels of cholesterol are good for me. That formerly dangerous cholesterol may have been all that was keeping me alive & blogging. Now that my high cholesterol is gone, my Blog Sharp Mind may fade away. It may actually have started with this posting.

Would I kid u?



Tuesday, February 17, 2015

What The Heck Is She Doing? By Golly She Is Surfing The Internet! But She Can't Be Doing That There...Or Can She?

Look at the picture below...


This is the best quality I could get taking a picture of a pause in CSPAN.

You are looking at a very serious problem in the Good Ole USofA... People not paying attention while at work because they are distracted by Electronic Devices While At Work.

This one is Extra Special Awful…This happened in the Senate of the United States of America!

This Senator is The One In Charge for the Day...

Ø She is in control.

Ø She bangs that gavel when it is appropriate.

Ø She makes rulings that are very important.

Ø All the other Senators look up to her (while she is looking down).

Periodically she would look up for a moment & act like she was paying attention but I watched her for about 15 minutes & she looked down a lot more than she looked up.

I got so agitated about this that I drove to Washington, D.C. & confronted her in person.

Boy did she put me in my place!

She looked me right in my eyes & said, "I was texting my daughter about making herself a peanut butter & jelly sandwich when she got home from school because the Senators out on the floor were taking an extra long time talking about something or other. My daughter could very well be President of the United States someday. Do you have a prejudice against a female president? You are the kind of bigoted person that has been holding back female progress the last 600 years! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"

The whole time she was berating me I was backing up. I was completely intimidated. I slithered away & drove back to Georgia. During the whole drive I kept looking in my rear view mirror fearing "they" were coming after me to take me away to put me away.

The whole time she was verbally backing me up, knowing how smart she was, I had fear that she had seen into my true secret inner prejudice against Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches. I really hate those things & I am ashamed of that hate because I know there is no justifiable basis for it.

I'm going to think long & hard before I confront another Senator, much less one who is the Mother of a future President.

Would I kid u?



Lagniappe: Above I stated that the attacking Senator was smart. Did you wonder how I knew she was smart, since I had only just met her? The answer is simple, I knew she was smart because she is a U.S. Senator & they are all smart...Or are they?

Monday, February 16, 2015

A Once Proud Industry Is Being Destroyed

A brief listing of some different types of News Dissemination...

Ø Town Criers walked through streets shouting at people.

Ø Native Americans used Smoke Signals.

Ø People used to stand on Tree Stumps (Boxes in England) to get their message out.

Ø Paul Revere got on his horse & galloped through our villages telling us the British Were Coming.

Eventually we migrated to Podiums. When there were dramatic announcements to be made, the announcement maker stood behind a Podium to let us all know what's going on, what's been agreed to, who we are going to war against, the sad news that a famous celebrity couple has split up, etc.

The people who made the Podiums were a proud lot but not anymore. Towns were built up around their factories. They used to have annual conventions and published their own magazine. Now they are being relegated to the Ash Heap of History along with the Buggy Whip Makers. Now we Tweet to a world chock full of Twits.

This was in my newspaper this past week...

"(Reuters) - President Barack Obama and Pakistani Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif spoke by telephone on Thursday about counterterrorism and other issues, and agreed to meet, the White House National Security Council said on Twitter."

This is pretty important news. Does it not appear to you to be Stump (or Box in England) or Podium Worthy? Sadly this appears not be the case.

In the future those of us who are not Twits will be left in the dark.

Oh well, that's progress... Or is it?

Would I kid u?



Sunday, February 08, 2015

I Feel Like A Failure

I self-published my book & to this day only 98 people have obtained a copy for their bathrooms.

American Sniper was also self-published & has sold hundreds of thousands of copies & the movie has 5 Academy Award Nominations.

As far as I know I do not have a single Academy Award Nomination.

I have too much pride to have ever begged anyone to buy my book but, on more than one occasion, I have cried myself to sleep about my lagging sales numbers.

I have begun to fight back. I have a new plan to boost sales. I am going to change my catchy sales enticer phrase from World's Greatest Bathroom Book to the Best Little Read Book On The Prairie.

That oughta do it.

Would I kid u?



Friday, February 06, 2015

Let's Go This Way Cuz Harm's Way Is That Way

We now know that back in December the United Arab Emirates suspended participation in coalition air strikes against Isis because of concerns for their pilot's safety.

That's not the way it's supposed to be in war time. You are supposed to go where the enemy is & do you level best to break things. And yes, more often than not, it is not safe.

What if others throughout history had gone as far as the United Arab Emirates have gone to keep their pilots safe?...

Normandy... General Eisenhower's says to his staff on June 1, 1944, "Intelligence reports indicate that invading France might be fraught with difficulties. Let's wait till the Nazi's get tired of occupying France &/or they all get old & die. Our invasion would have a far better chance of success if we just practice a little patience."

Landing On The Moon... In 1969 bunch of those really smart people over in Houston decide to issue a press release. In it they say, "We have decided that there's are a lot of unknowns about trying to land on the moon. It also might be very dangerous. Instead, we are sending our Astronauts over to Death Valley to dig up some rocks over there."

Medical Evacuation By Helicopter In Vietnam... Our job was to go get wounded soldiers wherever they were. Many times this meant going into an active battle, landing & loading the wounded under fire. I don't think we would have retrieved many wounded if we had said to each other, "There's a lot of shooting going on in the landing zone where the wounded are. Let's go to that landing zone about a mile away. There are no wounded there but neither are there any bad guys that would be shooting at us. It will be a lot safer."

Tweet to UAE... No chit, Sherlock. Flying can be dangerous. May we also recommend that you bar your pilots from bouncing around in those Bouncy Blow Up Thingies at their children's birthday parties. Those things are accidents waiting to happen & it has also been reported that they are full of germs.

Would I kid u?



Tuesday, February 03, 2015

We Have A Hall Of Fame For Darn Near Everything

Believe it or not, there is such a thing as the...

United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame

Why there is a United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame I’m not quite sure but that’s not the reason for this Foolishness...Or Is It?. I'm more intrigued by the thinking of the United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame.

To my way of thinking a stick isn't much of anything. Not so with the United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame. They actually inducted The Stick into their Hall in 2008.

The Hall tells us this about The Stick...

Ø It may be the world’s oldest toy.

Ø Even animals play with sticks since we use them to play fetch with our dogs.

Ø Children find sticks an endless source of make-believe fun.

Ø When children pretend with sticks, they cultivate their creativity and develop their imaginations.

Ø Sticks can turn into swords, magic wands, majorette batons, fishing poles, and light sabers.

I would be willing to bet that the above bullets have been Politically Corrected. I say that because I feel certain the word “guns” was removed. This is very likely what the last bullet above originally looked like...

Ø Sticks can turn into swords, guns, magic wands, majorette batons, fishing poles, and light sabers.

The Stick's ability to be used as an imaginary gun is the reason why the United Nations, working hand in hand with our 18% Approval Rated Congress (I just saw where Congress moved up from 11% to 18%), got The Stick outlawed. My sources tell me that it was a unanimous vote because no one had the guts to come to the defense of such a pervasive evil.

I think sticking it to The Stick is the main contributing factor to the dramatic increase in dog suicides worldwide.

Looking past the sad fact that we are losing so many of man's best friends, I think we ought to look on the bright side...

Ø The outlawing of the Stick has had a major effect on bringing down the high unemployment rates that have been dogging our economy for years now.

Ø Millions of formerly unemployed Americans are now gainfully employed walking around the Good Ole USofA picking up sticks in order to get them out of circulation & being paid living wages with money we borrowed from China.


I admit there is often Subject Repetition in my Blogging but it has to be that way because Stupid does not go away just because I write a single blog posting exposing it to the world.

On the other hand there is also Subject Variety in my Blog. This Posting proves it. I bet you never would have guessed that you would one day be reading about a United States’ National Toy Hall of Fame.

If you said to me that you did foresee my writing a Blog Posing like this one, I would suspect that you were toying with me.

Would I kid u?



Lagniappe: Personally I think Senator Foghorn Leghorn got carried away when he added an Earmark to the Ban the Stick Bill which also banned worldwide use of the phrase, Stick to Your Guns.