Sunday, May 18, 2014

Times They Are A Changing

Chalk these random thoughts up under the category of Progress... Or is it?

  • Boy George is out of the news. Was there ever such a thing as a Boy George?
  • We now have cell phones which allow us to be in constant communication with everyone about everything. There is, of course, that major drawback where some of us do not understand that a cell phone can actually be talked into from home. As a result of this misconception, many of us run to our cars and start driving around before we answer our phones. This wasteful practice is costing the Good Ole USofA a lot of precious petroleum resources.
  • We no longer have to lick the back of postage stamps with our tongues. Disgusting to begin with and most certainly carried postal germs.
  • There are no longer Bell Bottom Pants in my closet.
  • For those of us who enjoy Body Mayhem, it is nice that tattooing has become accepted in all parts of our Out of Control Society. Now, if we could only convince the tattooees that turtleneck long sleeve shirts and long pants are the order of the day all year round, our eyes would not hurt near as much as they do.
  • I’ve reached the age where I no longer am physically able to go out 3 times a week and run 3 miles because I mistakenly thought it was a lot of fun.
  • I no longer have to stick a key in a lock to open my car. At the time I never gave it a second thought about whether or not my car liked being poked like that.

Expanding on the above bullet...

  • Had we all understood at the time that cars were people too we would never have gotten rid of our Horse Drawn Buggies which would have allowed the Buggy Whip Makers of the world to continue to enjoy the lifestyle to which they had become accustomed.
  • We have now come to the realization that some of the other mere things we once thought of as mere things are actually people too like Spotted Owls, Trees, Household Pets and, of course, Snail Darters.

By golly, I just realized that I am wallowing in the Animal Dark Ages. Please allow me to correct my ignorant statement about “Household Pets” (& other animal stupidity of mine)...

  • We no longer “Own a Pet” but we are now "Human Caregivers".
  • Your furry friends are no longer “Pets” but are "Companion Animals".
  • Others say your Pets/Companion Animals are not either of these two nomenclatures. They are Family Members.
  • Those deer eating your garden are now "Free Living Animals" not “Wild”.
  • Pets in France will no longer be considered as pieces of furniture, after parliament voted to grant them new rights. A spokesman said, “Parliament had recognized an obvious fact: animals are beings endowed with feelings”.

The Bottom Line... Come to think of it, if a space ship were hovering above the Earth & saw a Human Caregiver walking his Companion Animal and stooping down and picking up the pooped poop, which one would the space visitor think is the Superior Being?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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