Monday, December 09, 2013

Good News: Budget Negotiators Are Making Progress … Bad News: Budget Negotiators Are Making Progress

My newspaper tells me that Patty Murray & Paul Ryan are “Moving Closer” to a Two-Year Budget Deal that would head off another Government Shutdown.

My newspaper was actually quivering with excitement as I read the article.

This is not good news in all circles of the Good Ole USofA. My sources have told me that it is devastating news to our National News Media. I have it on reliable sources that there is downright panic in the offices of every major news organization out there. Here are a few examples of the doom and gloom conversations taking place around the water coolers in Big Media Offices...

  • What are we going to do for news?
  • Do you realize how much angst we would be able to create if we were permitted to wreak the havoc we wreaked every time in the last 7 years that this type of deadline was approaching?
  • The worst part is these two mental midgets are talking about coming to a Two Year Agreement. That means we will not be able to cause the folks back home to panic next year either! That’s unconscionable! That’s un-American! There ought to be a law about the laws this 9% approval rated congress is allowed to pass!
  • I have been furiously writing End of the World and End of the Good Ole USofA articles at a feverish pitch and now these articles are going to be useless (actually he was taking the same such articles from the last panic and changing the publication dates).
  • I had hopes that the timing of this coming budget showdown was going to be so strong that the folks back home would have completely ignored the Super Bowl. That truly would have been a feather in our cap! Can you just imagine the damage to the economy we would have generated if we could have caused the Super Bowl Stadium to be empty for the big game!

The Smartfella has this to say to our panic stricken news media...

Calm down. Remember that Murray and Ryan are members of a 9% approval rated congress. What are the chances that they will agree on anything constructive? It’s all going to be OK.

...Or is it?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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