Sunday, October 20, 2013

Look Down ... There Is Gold Down There

I guess it is OK that I don’t know who Gene Simmons is because I’m fairly certain that he does not know who the Smartfella is.
However, in order to trick you into thinking I am hip, I Googled Mr. Simmons. I am even going to put his picture in this blog so you will not embarrass yourself by emailing me and asking who he is...

That’s him. As you can see, he is one of those KISS singer guys. Don’t be afraid those horns are not part of his anatomy. They are sewed on... Or are they?
I am now finally going to get around to telling you about how you could be rich if you were a Gene Simmons or another Adored Hollywood Celebrity of equal notoriety.
It seems Gene Simmons has auctioned off a piece of Already Been Chewed Chewing Gum he had personally already chewed. He auctioned it off on Sky TV’s “Soccer Am” (whatever that is) for $245,602.
He is giving this ridiculous amount of money for his chewed chewing gum to Charity. He is such a good guy that he is not enriching himself off the stupidity of someone with fewer brains than his chewed gum.
My sources in Hollywood tell me that a passel of Hollywood Celebs have taken note of what Gene Simmons did and they are all chewing up a storm. The big difference is these are not charitable chew ventures on their part. They are in it for the money!
However, the real money maker in this phenomenon is not chewing gum. Several celebs have figured out that chewed chewing gum can be produced fairly rapidly and over supply will bring down its value. However, Belly Button Lint is slow to accumulate, is more scarce and this is where the big bucks are going to be made in the future.
The smart ones are not those that are digging in their belly buttons immediately upon realizing that there is gold down there. The ones that allow their lint to accumulate to Commercial Grade are the ones that will score big.
My dear readers, I know there are some (many) of you who think I made this whole thing up. To those I say...
You just wait. A couple of years from now there will be a Celeb Belly Button Buying Frenzy that you won’t believe!
When that comes to pass, I will expect a formal email or tweet of apology from each of you Fella Doubters.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
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