Monday, September 23, 2013

This Blog Posting Could Save Us A Whole Bunch Of Money

The Internet is wonderful! Here is what I learned from the Net recently...

Two thirds of deaths worldwide go completely unrecorded.

For Example: In Malawi, any death that occurs outside a medical facility is not recorded.

Do you see it? Do you see how our rulers could save us a ton or two of money?

What? You don’t see it? Sometimes the Smartfella gets discouraged. After all the effort I have expended over the years to improve your Powers of Observation, I sometimes feel I have completely failed.

OK, one more time, I will explain the obvious...

  • Every year the Good Ole USofA borrows a humongous amount of money to give to countries all over the world in the form of Foreign Aid.
  • We give our borrowed money to countries based on the number of people each country has within its borders.
  • Let’s say we believe that there are 7,000,000 people in Grand Fenwick.
  • Our rulers decide that we are going to borrow $5 for every citizen in Grand Fenwick to help Grand Fenwickians in their national effort to eradicate extinct animal species
  • That means we will borrow and give to Grand Fenwick $35,000,000.
  • Grand Fenwick is a country that does not record deaths when their citizens become dead.
  • The truth is Grand Fenwick only has 1,000,000 people.
  • If we knew the true population of Grand Fenwick, we would not have had to borrow $34,000,000 of our actually borrowed $35,000,000.

If we had no Grand Fenwickian use for this $34,000,000, Congress could have made better use of their unlimited power to borrow money. They could have gone ahead with the borrowing of the unneeded $34,000,000 and done lots of other wonderful things...

  • They could have given themselves a raise.
  • They could have given this $34,000,000 to another country that has severely overstated its population.
  • They could have purchased 3,400,000 copies of my book Foolishness...Or Is It? (Also available on Kindle) and placed them in public restrooms all over the Fruited Plain. They could have chained them in place with all those chains the Post Office has in storage in Albuquerque that it bought to use on Chained Desk Pens before they went on an austerity kick and discontinued providing Chained Desk Pens.

This last bullet above would mean a windfall of income to me because it would increase my sales by 3,399,907. With all that loot, I could hire someone to write Foolishness...Or Is It? for me.

My first choice would have been Ernest Hemingway but he is dead. I know he is dead because his death was recorded. If he had died in Malawi on his front porch, he would still be alive.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Do you know where I came up with the name of “Grand Fenwick”? If you do, you are either very old or you just Googled it.

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