Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Bring Back The Good Ole Punch In The Mouth

My newspaper just told me about someone who said something insulting to someone else and the Someone Else person is suing the Someone Said It Person.

Whatever happened to Freedom of Speech? Whatever happened to the Freedom to Insult Your Fellow Man? Now anytime anyone says anything that could be construed as an insult, the insulted person’s brother-in-law files a law suit on behalf of the insulted person. (Don’t tell me that we need to outlaw Brothers-In-Law when you know full well that they are a necessary evil.)

In the old days here is what would have happened when someone insulted someone...

  • The Insulted Someone would have punched the Insulting Someone in the mouth.
  • If the Insulting Someone would have gotten up, a crowd would have gathered to watch the fist fight.
  • If the Insulting Someone did not get up, the crowd that did not gather would have continued shooting pool.
  • If things really started getting out of hand, John Wayne would have ridden in and restored order.
  • If ole John had a hankering he would have punched one or the other of the antagonists in the mouth.
  • There would have been no law suits because the We Got Too Many Lawyers America had not been invented yet and, of course, no one dared to sue John Wayne.

In Modern Day Litigious America some or all of the following lawsuits would be filed...

  • By the Insulted Person against the Insulting Person.
  • By the Insulted Person against any bystander who chuckled when he overheard the insult.
  • By the other brother-in-law of the Insulted Person who is suing because he was not given this case to handle. He was overheard to say, “My Insulted Brother-In-Law retained his other Brother-In-Law the last 3 times he tried to take advantage of our Judicial System. Don’t I get a turn? What am I, a potted plant? I can just as unscrupulous as the next guy.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: It is my sad duty to report that in recent days I have asked a young waiter and, on another occasion, a young waitress if they ever heard of John Wayne. Both of them answered, “No”. I’m not going to ask this question anymore because that’s just too depressing. clip_image002[4]