Sunday, December 29, 2013

I Would Not Want To Be This Guy

(I have been prodded to publish today by a dear reader who I have caused to have withdrawal pains because of my inactivity... “Starting to worry about you with no foolishness for so long but even Matthew, Mark, Luke & John took breaks”.)

The Federal Government has finally admitted that the Federal Government is not as Efficient as the Private Sector.

It is hard to believe that our rulers let this one slip. I wonder if the minion who actually wrote the words admitting this undeniable truth likes his new bleak musty windowless surroundings.

That sucker is now so far underground that, when the bad guys blow everything up, his treasured William Shakespeare Bobble Head Doll, which always sits on his desk, will not bob its little head in the slightest.

 

This is what was reported in the Wall Street Journal on Monday December 2, 2013...

  • Health & Human Services had released an 8 page report claiming that it had met its promise to fix the HealthCare.gov Web Site by 11/30/13.
  • There is a line in the report that boasted, “The team is operating with private sector velocity and effectiveness”.

There you have it! Our beloved Federal Government has finally admitted that the Private Sector is better than the Public Sector.

This awesome admission was followed by the chirping of crickets as no one noticed but the Smartfella and you... Or did you?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Giving North Korea Credit Where Credit Is Due

The little round leader of North Korea had an Uncle that was his closest confidant. “Had” is the operative word. Uncle was in good shape on December 8 but on December 9 he was dragged from his seat at a big meeting and 4 days later he was executed.

Don’t you see what I admire about North Korea? Do you not remember any of my diatribes about Justice Delayed Is Justice Denied?

There is no such thing as Delayed Justice in North Korea. There may be a question about Justice but, you must admit, there is no feet dragging in their courtrooms.

Those guys get right to the heart of the matter... They find some Irrefutable Evidence or Trump Up some Charges based on Flimsy Innuendos or Hearsay and it’s off with that offending head 4 days later!

This uncle guy was accused lots of things. Some of his transgressions included Womanizing, Drug Use, Gambling, Eating at Expensive Restaurants and Undergoing Medical Treatment in a Foreign Country. It’s that “Eating in Expensive Restaurants” that really cooked his goose.

In the Good Ole USofA we are more deliberate...

An accused dastardly fellow kills a whole bunch of people, with a whole bunch of people watching it happen live, while millions of other people watch it on television live, after writing a note and leaving it in the well of the U.S. Senate in a mayonnaise jar saying that he was going to kill a whole bunch of people with a whole bunch of people watching it live and intending to have millions more watching it live on television.

We take a little more than 4 days to clean up these matters. We spend 18 years trying and retrying and appealing and sentencing and staying only to decide that the accused suspected killer has suffered enough because we spent all of 18 years trying and retrying and appealing and sentencing and staying.

It is at this point that we come to the realization that both the Judicial System and the Once Dastardly Fellow can’t remember what the original crime was so we let him go on his own recognizance.

The following week the Once Dastardly Fellow and his team of lawyers sue the Judicial System of the Good Ole USofA for Delayed Justice.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

No S__t Sherlock

I did not make this up...

An official said after that student shot another student and then killed himself inside Arapahoe High School in Centennial, Colorado on December 13, 2013, “We believe, based on the fact that he was armed with multiple rounds, armed with a machete and armed with three incendiary devices, his intent was evil.”

I agree with that official’s official words.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Smartfella Has The Day Off ... This Posting Is Being Sent To You By Seriousfella

A friend sent me a link which he prefaced by saying something like...

You have probably seen this before but it is worth another look.

My first thought was...

Why do people send links they know we have seen before? Don’t they know we are covered up with emails, tweets, facebookings and threatening letters from our federal government telling us we did something we should not have done or we should have done something we did not do?

The link he sent was the one all of us have probably seen before about Bob Hope’s many Christmas Shows entertaining our troops all over the world. (The link is at the end of this blog posting.)

Here Comes The Serious Part...

It’s about the difference between Now & Back Then. The clip says Bob Hope used to walk into hospital wards full of gravely wounded military personal from all branches of our military and announce, “Don't get up”.

It was funny. The wounded laughed. Everyone laughed.

Today anyone who did this would be crucified by our beloved politically correct news media. That night on the nightly news Ole Bob would have been First Up with a lead in like, Shocking News Alert! or This Just In! or Breaking News!

As for me, Seriousfella thinks that Congress should not have let Bob Hope die because he stood up for our troops for decades.

We used to know how to laugh.

Would I kid u?

Seriousfella

Lagniappe: I hope someone sends me the opportunity to look at this clip every Christmas from now on...

http://biggeekdad.com/2011/02/bob-hope-christmas/

Monday, December 09, 2013

Good News: Budget Negotiators Are Making Progress … Bad News: Budget Negotiators Are Making Progress

My newspaper tells me that Patty Murray & Paul Ryan are “Moving Closer” to a Two-Year Budget Deal that would head off another Government Shutdown.

My newspaper was actually quivering with excitement as I read the article.

This is not good news in all circles of the Good Ole USofA. My sources have told me that it is devastating news to our National News Media. I have it on reliable sources that there is downright panic in the offices of every major news organization out there. Here are a few examples of the doom and gloom conversations taking place around the water coolers in Big Media Offices...

  • What are we going to do for news?
  • Do you realize how much angst we would be able to create if we were permitted to wreak the havoc we wreaked every time in the last 7 years that this type of deadline was approaching?
  • The worst part is these two mental midgets are talking about coming to a Two Year Agreement. That means we will not be able to cause the folks back home to panic next year either! That’s unconscionable! That’s un-American! There ought to be a law about the laws this 9% approval rated congress is allowed to pass!
  • I have been furiously writing End of the World and End of the Good Ole USofA articles at a feverish pitch and now these articles are going to be useless (actually he was taking the same such articles from the last panic and changing the publication dates).
  • I had hopes that the timing of this coming budget showdown was going to be so strong that the folks back home would have completely ignored the Super Bowl. That truly would have been a feather in our cap! Can you just imagine the damage to the economy we would have generated if we could have caused the Super Bowl Stadium to be empty for the big game!

The Smartfella has this to say to our panic stricken news media...

Calm down. Remember that Murray and Ryan are members of a 9% approval rated congress. What are the chances that they will agree on anything constructive? It’s all going to be OK.

...Or is it?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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Wednesday, December 04, 2013

Judge Houston, We Have An Eyewitness Who Saw The Whole Crime Being Committed From Start To Finish, But We Have A Problem

This scenario has not happened yet but it is only a matter of time before it will be reality. Because you have the good fortune of being an enlightened reader of Foolishness...Or Is It?, you are privy to the sad future that awaits us.
Please allow me to set the scene...
  • We are in a court of law in the Good Ole USofA in the not too distant future.
  • The trial in process involves a case of a very gruesome alleged murdered victim which has been capturing headlines for many months.
  • The alleged murderer of the alleged murdered victim has been arrested and is standing trial before a jury of his peers.
  • An eyewitness who saw the alleged murder of the alleged victim from his first floor bedroom window just 10 yards from where the alleged murderer is alleged to have done his alleged murdering has just been called to the stand and has been duly sworn in.
This is the point in the proceedings where strange things start happening. The eye witness is asked a series of questions. The eyewitness makes no attempt to answer any of the questions put to him. He is very attentive to the prosecuting attorney but remains completely unresponsive.
Judge Houston steps in and summons the two attorneys to the bench and explains to the prosecuting attorney the reality of modern societal evolution in present day Good Ole USofA...
Henry, you are wasting your time asking verbal questions of the witness. You witness does not talk. He only texts. He is not being obstinate. He really is a cooperative witness. He simply has forgotten how to communicate verbally.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
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Sunday, December 01, 2013

The Obvious Way To Control Global Warming

This is such a logical fix for Global Warming, Global Climate Change or whatever it is being called today...

1. Recall all Thermometers.

2. Our Congress then should pass a law requiring all Thermometers sold in the future only go up to 92 degrees.

That ought to do it.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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