Monday, April 29, 2013

Blue Ribbon Committee Needed

In 1982 Congress mandated that Nuclear Waste be stored deep underground in a Centralized Storage Facility. Congress thought this was a wise thing to do, so they did it. Congress always does wise things.

In 1987 Yucca Mountain in Nevada was chosen as the Centralized Storage Facility for all this yucky stuff.

In 1993, the Department of Energy (DOE) began grading work on first phase of the Centralized Storage Facility and also set waste acceptance to begin in 2010.

While Yucca Mountain was being built (employing a whole bunch of Nevadans) utilities all over the Fruited Plain, while waiting for the storage site to be selected and construction to be completed, have been storing all this nuclear waste inside cooling pools at nuclear reactor sites and paying the government to permanently dispose of the waste because a Nuclear Waste Fund was set up in 1982 to pay for the Centralized Storage Facility. The Centralized Storage Facility is being funded by fees collected on the generation of electricity from nuclear power plants all over the U.S.

But billions of dollars and decades later, the U.S. is back to square one.

Nevada wasn't happy hosting the nation's nuclear waste dump. After all those Nevadans had received all those construction paychecks all those years, now they are not happy. The current administration formally pulled the plug on Yucca Mountain and its Centralized Storage Facility in 2010.

Wow! Is it not interesting that, after all those Nevadans received all those pay checks, 2010 is the year the plug is pulled? How good is your short term memory? If you go back up earlier in this posting you will find these words in bold, “waste acceptance to begin in 2010”.

Below is a view inside Yucca Mountain. The view is looking down the main tunnel shaft (“main” means there are more than this one shaft) which descends over 5 miles into Yucca Mountain. Does this prior sentence give you some sense as to how big this project was? All that money spent over all those years of construction and we tax payers now own a gigantic hole in the ground that will never to be used.

The hole has swallowed just under 100 Billion Dollars. In case you forgot what the Smartfella has tried to teach you in the past, that’s just under 100 Thousand Million Dollars.
                         
Since we have dumped just under 100 Thousand Million Dollars into that hole in the ground, we ought to use the hole for something. The Smartfella recommends we use it to store the contents of our Federal Graft and Corruption Monies Yet To Be Handed Out Fund (the hole might not be big enough).

You are thinking I made up the existence of such a fund but you are not sure I made it up, are you?

As all of my dear readers always expect of me, I don’t just cry wolf. I actually propose remedies for the Governmental Foolishness I point out to you.

The reason why this project was canceled after spending just under 100 Thousand Million Dollars is that Nevada has a very powerful Senator representing it in Congress.

The crux of the problem is this Senator is too powerful. Congress ought to appoint a Blue Ribbon Committee to determine who the least powerful Senator in the Senate at this time. Once that determination is made they can slam our Nuclear Waste Plans down these weakly represented constituent’s collective throats.

However, my plan will never work. Do you see the reason why?...
Twenty five years from now (after we have spent a heck of a lot more than 100 thousand million dollars) that least powerful Senator will be a very powerful Senator and, after his constituents have sucked in twenty five years of pay checks, the project will be canceled by President Chelsea Clinton.

Would I kid u?
Smartfella


Monday, April 22, 2013

Two Significant Contributors To Our Economy & Their Equally Dramatic Effect On Employment

One of these Significant Contributors to our economy has been performing its employment magic for many years. The other is on the cusp of becoming a major contributor to Employment in the Good Ole USofA ...

The American Civil Liberties Union

These ACLU guys are everywhere. Without them unemployment would be through the roof.

Bomb Sniffing Dogs

As a result of The Marathon Bombing last Monday, if you can qualify to be a Bomb Sniffing Dog, you will be able to support your family for a long time into the foreseeable future.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Saturday, April 20, 2013

That Is Not Possible!

How many times have you heard a Mathematical Midget (usually sports “heroes”) say he gave over 100% effort toward whatever Herculean Endeavor he is trying to impress us about?

I know and you know (at least I hope you know) that more than 100% effort is not possible. To go even further I heard a celebrity say the other day that he gave 1 Million Percent Support to something or other.

I got all excited and started pecking out a blog. Knowing that so many people admire this sports celebrity I began to get an uneasy feeling that he may know more than I do about numbers and percentages and such things.

Before I blurted out my first erroneous blog I wanted to make sure I would not make a fool of myself. I contacted a member of congress who is deeply involved in all things financial up there in our 13% Approval Rated Congress.

You, my dear reader, may think the Smartfella knows it all. I understand why you may feel that way but I many times consult with experts before I send out a Blog Posting. This is my way of tricking you into believing that I am really smart.

Golly gee did this honorable member of congress put me in my place! The Congressman seemed rather annoyed and disappointed with me when he explained, “Smartfella, do you not understand that 120 Percent is a lot more than 1 Million Percent? Any fifth grader knows that 120 is more than 1.”

Did I feel silly!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella?

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Excessive Smart

The other day I went up to the library of a nearby university to get away from it all. I do this when I want to have peace and quiet in order allow my blogging juices to flow.

This time my juices were interrupted by a student across the table from me. Out of the blue he started talking to himself. Here is what he said...

This studying is really hard! Is it really necessary? Why do I have to work so hard to make myself smart? After all, I have a Smartphone. Does not ownership and proficiency with a Smartphone negate the necessity of my head having to be Smart also?

OK I admit it. I made this blog up from scratch. There was no such student thinking this kind of Silliness out loud to himself ... Or did I? ... Or was there not?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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Saturday, April 13, 2013

Those Dastardly Fellows Have Finally Been Exposed

Congress is presently on a sustained tirade against Tax Loopholes. They are frantically making speeches describing their ongoing and valiant attempts to close every one of those insidious revenue-sucking evil thingies from every corner and crevice of our bloated tax code.

The Smartfella knows something that our 11% Approval Rated Congress is not talking about. He knows where the Tax Loopholes came from but he seems to be the only one who is willing to talk about where they came from.

Tax Loopholes were put in place by the same people who now look surprised that they exist at all ... Our Duly Elected United States Congresses Going Back for Decades.

They are pointing at the unbelievable large number of Tax Loopholes in our unbelievably large Tax Code and proclaiming them to be the product of some unknown force.

The really strange thing in all of this is they are acting surprised that anyone is daring to use the Tax Loopholes that they created.

Before you, my dear reader, start poking holes in the air with your finger, stop and think about who it was that Duly Elected your Duly Elected Congressmen. We have seen the enemy and he is us. The “us” here is you and I.

We have returned our representatives to Congress over and over for so long that many of them can no longer remember which area of the Fruited Plain they came from.

It is very important that your Duly Elected Representatives do remember from whence they came because, if they don’t remember, they can’t set up Tax Loopholes for your benefit.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Twitter May Save Us All

I have never understood Twitter, Tweeting and being proud to say to the whole wide world, “I am a Twit”.

I recently opened a Twitter Account because I was told I could get exposure for my Blog and my Book if I did.

Now I am back to square one again... I don’t understand Twitter, Tweeting and I hope no one in the whole wide world finds out I am a Twit because I have yet to figure out how all of this is of benefit to my Blog and my Book.

=========================

However, as the Subject of this posting implies, there actually may be a great benefit coming from Twitter as more and more people are Tweeting their innermost thoughts and feelings…

  • There was that super star basketball player last year who announced his retirement to his over 1,000,000 followers by Tweeting, “I want you to be the first to know”.
  • The Twitter World convicted the Referees in Louisville/Wichita State game a few days ago. The following morning’s newspaper implied that, since so many Tweets came in condemning that jump ball near the end of the game as being a bad call, then that was proof positive that the Referees were absolutely wrong. Does my newspaper know that every one of those Tweeting Condemners could have been die-hard Wichita State fans?
  • Police departments are Tweeting public information warnings via Tweets.
  • Lovers are proposing marriage via Tweets.

Where is the silver lining to all of this that I promised in the subject of this posting? You are going to kick yourself for not seeing it before me...

  • Tweets from Twits are limited to 140 Characters.
  • Tweets can be sent from anywhere in the world.

Can you imagine the benefits that can come to the Good Ole USofA if Congress conducted all of its business via Twitter?...

  • We would be spared their standing in those hallowed chambers poking holes in the air with their fingers all day because they would be limited to 140 characters.
  • Actually they would not even have to go to Washington D.C.
  • This means they would not “have” to fly home and return every week at our expense so they can put in their less than three work day weeks.
  • Lizard-Loafered Lobbyist would have a harder time getting to them in order to get to them because they would be spread all over the Fruited Plain.

How many times have we heard a Senator puff up his chest as he calls the Senate the “Greatest Debating Body in the World”? That is such a lie. How can “Debate” and “Senate” even be used in the same sentence?

Have you not watched CSPAN? There is hardly ever anyone in that hallowed chamber while a Senator is talking.

Not wanting to be accused of exaggerating I will concede that there are always present the Presiding Officer of the Senate and those three people stationed around the podium. I must also point out that the four of them are all Tweeting the whole time the speakers are poking holes in the air with their index fingers.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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Friday, April 05, 2013

First Time Ever! A Petition Received From Beyond The Grave

General George Washington has petitioned the Congress to change the name of Washington D.C. to, “Anything else ye damn well please”.

He went on to say...

“I spent my life in service to this once great country and I no longer consider it an honor to have our capital named after me.

Besides, my cohorts up here in heaven have begun to laugh at me every time the word “Washington” is mentioned on the news. Since ye now have the 24 Hour News Cycle, the guffaws are never ending.

Sadly sleep is not needed up here. If we did sleep, I could get away from the ridicule for a wee bit. This being the case, the laughing and finger pointing never stops.

Benjamin Franklin is the worst!”

Authorities are baffled at how Ole George went about communicating with Congress. A Senate Committee will begin holding hearings next week to get to the root of this strange phenomenon. Committee Hearings are a sure way to get to the bottom of any issue of importance...Or are they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Thursday, April 04, 2013

Plastic Flowers & Tweeting

Darn near every Sunday when I was a Smallfella I had the honor of accompanying my Mother to the Quality Flower Shoppe to buy flowers and then to the Cemetery to put those freshly bought fresh flowers on the growing number of graves that contained the growing number of our deceased relatives.

You can rest assured that I did not consider it an honor at the time.

There is no telling what my Mother could have been doing with her time, if she did not have to perform this time-honored family ritual.

If plastic flowers had already been invented, she and I could have made a single trip per deceased relative to the Quality Plastic Flower Shoppe, bought a bunch of permanent plastic beauties, gone and deposited them at the newest deceased relative’s grave and then gotten on with our lives.

I don’t mean we would have forgotten about the prior deceased relatives. I’m sure we would have glanced at the prior dearly beloved’s graves and their dusty but still beautiful (from a distance) flowers as we made our way to and from the newest deceased relative’s tomb.

Ah yes, it makes my aging heart jump with joy to picture my Mother on the family couch tweeting all Sunday afternoon. Now there is a worthwhile way to spend a Sunday if I ever heard of one.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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