Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I Was Feeling Very Uneasy ... I Feel Better Now

It was very disconcerting. I could not shake the uneasy feeling that the Good Ole USofA was drifting without anyone really knowing where the drift was taking us. It seemed like there were No Experts anywhere anymore.

Then the election happened and everything changed overnight. The day after the election we were covered up with Experts, Pundits and Talking Heads who knew in minute detail everything Romney had done wrong....

  • He was Too Tentative.
  • Only talking about The Economy was a Strategic Error.
  • He did not answer back to those who said Nasty Things about him.
  • His wife was a Known Equestrian.
  • At no point did Romney give people any Reason To Vote For Him, and so they didn't.
  • Democrats showed decisively that their Ground Game is devastatingly better.
  • He did not offer a Specific Agenda.
  • His running mate did not laugh enough during his debate with the laughing guy. This was such a tipping point in this campaign and many a Think Tank is currently analyzing the previously unseen benefits to be gained in future debates by laughing, making funny faces and fainting shock and surprise.
  • He was Too Forceful.
  • He did not respect Voter’s Savvy.
  • He could not get the vote from Young People, African-Americans and Hispanics.
  • He never seemed to articulate a Clear Rationale for the presidency.
  • He should not have picked Paul Ryan. He should have picked a running mate from a more winnable Battleground State.
  • He was married to the Same Woman for too long.
  • He had an uneven Communications Strategy.
  • He allowed himself to be branded as a Corporate Raider.
  • He lacked a Specific Vision for the future.
  • Hurricane Sandy did him in.
  • His campaign was guilty of Poor Media Buying.
  • He showed his lifelong Distain for Women by only having Male Offspring.
  • He allowed himself to be defined as an Outsourcing Plutocrat who wanted to let Detroit Go Bankrupt.
  • He did not talk about People enough.
  • He talked about Jobs too much.
  • He held squishy positions on Abortion and Same-Sex Marriage.
  • He killed his dog by strapping him to the roof of his car. When he did try to answer this contention from 30 years ago his accuser forced him to admit the dog was, in fact, dead and he was left speechless and looking rather callous, confused and incompetent.

The next campaign for president of our formerly great country is going to very interesting indeed. In 2016 the Republicans will be a cinch winner. They will not need to come up with a Catchy Slogan like...

  • “Tippecanoe & Tyler Too” (Harrison)
  • “Don't Swap Horses in the Middle of the Stream” (Lincoln)
  • “He Kept Us Out of War” (Wilson)
  • “Let's Get Another Deck” (Landon)
  • “Give “Em Hell, Harry” (Truman)
  • “I Like Ike” (Eisenhower)
  • “In Your Heart You Know He's Right” (Goldwater) ... Rebutted by “In Your Guts You Know He’s Nuts” (Democrats)
  • “Nixon Is The One” (Nixon)
  • “Change You Can Believe In” (Obama)

It now appears that all the 2016 GOP Candidate needs to say is, “I’m Not Romney”.

Those of you who were hoping the next campaign would not last as long as this past campaign are by now very disappointed because you realize that the 2016 Campaign started on November 7, 2012.

Would I kid u?

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