Thursday, January 05, 2012

Only Possible Way A Republican Can Be Elected Our Next President

Unless you were just rescued from a deserted desert island you know what has been happening in the GOP Presidential Candidate Selection Process.

What’s that you say? You say you have just returned from 13 months on a deserted desert island and you don’t know what has been happening in the GOP Presidential Candidate Selection Process? That’s great. I would love to tell you all about it! Welcome back!

  • Nixon and Kennedy have been turning over in their graves with guilt for what they started.
  • During 2011 we were exposed to 312 Televised Debates. OK, I may have exaggerated a bit...Or did I?
  • The candidates have all been placed into that amusement park thingy where, when they pop up their heads, the Incredible Hulk smashes them down with this huge mallet.
  • First it was Bachmann, then it was Perry, then it was Cain and then it was Gingrich.
  • Don’t say Santorum because he popped his head up so late he has not been smashed down yet. That’s why he did so well in Iowa. He popped too late.

That’s the reality of GOP Presidential Politics this go around. The Front Runner is the target, the target is immediately attacked and the attacks are so vicious that Mother Theresa would be in 6th place by now and itching to hit someone in the chops.

In the subject of this posting I promised to tell you the only way a Republican can be our next president. Once I lay it out for you, you are going to sit back and say, “Of course! That is it! That’s the only way! That Smartfella is really a Smart Fella!”

The only thing I don’t know is who it will be. It might be Chris Christie. It might be Sarah Palin. It might be Mitch Daniel. It might be Bobby Jindal. It might be the Smartfella. What I can assure you is whoever implements this plan will be the next president.

Are you shouting at your monitor telling me to get with it? OK, here it is...

  • On November 3rd the winner will announce he is running for President of the United States.
  • He will immediately shoot up like a rocket to become the Front Runner.
  • Before the Democrats, the News Media, the actual GOP nominee, other Republicans who think he is not conservative enough, other Republicans who think he is too liberal or the girl who has always wanted to get even with him for dipping her pig tail in that ink well in the 4th grade have a chance to mount an attack he will have been elected President of the United States.

Before the Hulk can get into his windup, this sucker is going to have Secret Service Protection.

I told you it was a brilliant plan. Winking smile

Would I kid u?