Friday, March 30, 2012

This Blog Posting Does Not Require Any Comment From Me

According to USA Today there are two statistics about the current $640,000,000 Mega Millions Jackpot that are very interesting...

  • It would take the average American household 12,800 years to earn $640,000,000.
  • It takes the U.S. Government 1 Hour and 29 Minutes to spend $640,000,000.

Would I kid u?

Thursday, March 22, 2012

How Do They Know That?

My newspaper recently told me that there are 915 million ways to combine Six LEGO Blocks.

Such published reports beg many questions in my inquisitive mind...

  • Why are such published reports published?
  • Did some guy really sit down and rearrange these six blocks 915,000,000 times.
  • Was a gun to his head while he was rearranging those six little blocks?
  • Was he paid to do this?
  • If he was paid, he must have been paid with tax-payer funds because no private enterprise would have bothered to do something this silly.
  • How did it come out that there were exactly 915,000,000 ways?
  • They must have rounded up or down.
  • Should they be allowed to round up or down when we are dealing with such an important piece of information?
  • Should the Congressional Subcommittee in charge of such things hold hearings and call witnesses (the block arranger and the guy holding the gun to the block arranger’s head)?
  • Why is there a Congressional Subcommittee in charge of such things?

There are times when I think I may be running out of subject matter for any more Foolishness...Or Is Its? and then I open up my newspaper and I find myself covered up with Foolishness.

Would I kid u?

Monday, March 12, 2012

Proof That Many Of Us Are Nuts...Part 2

A few days ago I took jabs at American Sanity (or should that be American Insanity?).

Part 1 of this 2 part series discussed Ted Kaczynski’s Personal Belongings Auction. If that did not prove my point, I am ready to take another shot at it.

This craziness is not unique to the good ole USofA but knowing that there are other nuts in the box of candy somehow makes all the nuts feel better.

To set the stage, allow me to fill you in on one Pablo Escobar...

  • Before he was killed in 1993 he was generally accepted as the world’s most notorious criminal.
  • Little Pablo had gotten his criminal start stealing headstones from cemeteries, grinding them down and reselling them. (We all have to start somewhere.)
  • During his life he blew up a civilian airliner.
  • He had also bombed the Columbian government’s Security Ministry.
  • He dabbled in politics by assassinating at least one presidential candidate.
  • He waged an open war on the Columbian government that killed thousands, including dozens of judges and hundreds of policeman.
  • He kidnapped a respected 38 year-old magazine publisher and shot her three times in the back during a commando raid that was trying to rescue her.

Does all of the above sound wild and crazy? Wild and crazy it was but what I am about to tell you is not only wild and crazy but also Bizarre...

Mr. Escobar Is Now A Tourist Attraction

Down in Columbia two companies are vying to run tourists through his life and death. It appears Business Is Booming. Here is the spiel used by one of the Tour Guides as he begins taking his tour group of mostly 20-something backpacking travelers through Pablo’s World...

“We’re going to bring you to the very places where he lived and died, and you will sit on the actual motorcycle Pablo road for his first-ever drug run.

I am sorry to tell you that many of the backpacking tourists mentioned above are from the Good Ole USofA.

This is Medellin’s hottest ticket with hundreds being sold each month. For $30 you can be taken on a 4-hour tour and see and experience the likes of the following...

  • See his grave, of course.
  • See the house where was shot to death by police.
  • See and walk through his home in the hills where lived before his death.
  • Meet his older brother.
  • Don’t forget sitting on his motorcycle.

All of this is described as part of Columbia’s “rich, colorful history”.

Don’t be too hard on the Columbians for trying to make a Peso or two. In England they try and make a Pound or two too.

If you ever get to London, you can take the very popular tour of 20B Baker Street.

Those of us who have enjoyed reading Sherlock Holmes will remember that this is the address where the fictional detective would have lived if he had not been fictional.

Would I kid u?

Friday, March 09, 2012

A Win-Win Situation In The Middle East

May I recommend to you that you do not skim this posting? Please read it slowly and let what you are seeing sink in. This is serious stuff.

Here is what my newspaper has been telling me...

  • Syria and Iraq: Terrorists once traveled from Syria into Iraq to kill people but now they travel from Iraq into Syria to kill people.
  • Iran: The Baha’i leadership is in prison and there is no penalty in Iran for killing a Baha’i.
  • Yemen: Two hundred soldiers died in an Al-Qaida attack. (Change the number killed and this bullet point could be repeated over and over.)
  • Somalia: Christians are being systematically hunted down and killed.
  • Pakistan: In 2009, after allegations that a Koran had been torn, a 1,000-strong mob with Taliban links rampaged through a Christian neighborhood in Punjab killing 7 people, 6 of whom, including 2 children, were burned alive. Pakistani police did not intervene.
  • Afghanistan: Six United Kingdom soldiers were killed when an explosion destroyed the armored vehicle they were riding in. (Change the number killed and this bullet point could be repeated over and over.)
  • Saudi Arabia: Three activists have been imprisoned for using un-Islamic terminology, such as democracy and human rights, when calling for a written constitution.
  • Syria: Fourteen people were killed by two bombs outside a crowded restaurant. (Change the number killed and this bullet point could be repeated over and over.)
  • Repression: Saudi Arabia represses Shiites, especially Ismailis.
  • Repression: Iran represses Sunnis and Sufis.
  • Repression Plus: In Egypt, Shia leaders have been imprisoned and tortured.
  • Afghanistan: A Shia scholar and editor has been imprisoned for publishing un-Islamic articles that criticized stoning as a punishment for adultery.
  • Saudi Arabia: A teacher was sentenced to 40 months in jail and 750 lashes for mocking religion after discussing the Bible in class and making pro-Jewish remarks.
  • Pakistan: When a member of Pakistan’s Human Rights Commission, raised questions about Pakistan’s policies in Kashmir, he was charged with having blasphemed.
  • Bangladesh: A man was imprisoned for hurting religious feelings by advocating peaceful relations with Israel.
  • Iran: An Ayatollah was imprisoned for arguing that political leadership by clergy was contrary to Islam.
  • Iran: A Cleric was imprisoned for publishing untruths and disturbing public minds after publishing writings which questioned the legal basis of Ayatollah Khomeini’s view of government.
  • Iran: A sampling of other charges brought against Iranians include...
    Fighting against God.
    Dissension from religious dogma.
    Insulting Islam.
    Propagation of spiritual liberalism.
    Promoting pluralism.
    Creating anxiety in the minds of Iranian officials.

Some are pressing the West to negotiate with the Iranians. The Iranians believe that they have an obligation to kill all Jews. How does one negotiate with the mindset as laid out in all of the bullet points  above? Does it go something like this...

I can appreciate that you want all Jews dead but can’t we be a bit more reasonable about this? “All” is a Big Number. Are you open to another figure?

Compromise a good thing, don’t you think? How about killing 60%? Would that make you happy? Let me tell you this, 60% would be a great batting average in baseball.

What’s that you say? You are not real comfortable with only 60%? I tell you what. When you start getting close to 60%, we can meet again and revisit the final number.

Don’t be so firmly fixated about this “all” thing. After all, Rome wasn’t destroyed in a day.

Would I kid u?

Saturday, March 03, 2012

This Could Be My Longest Blog Posting Yet ... But It Isn’t

Here is the scenario...

  • North Korea is feverously working on its Nuclear Weapons Program.
  • Other concerned countries (hereinafter called Six Party Negotiators) ask North Korea to stop feverously working on its nuclear weapons program.
  • North Korea says, “No way, Jose” (in Korean).
  • Six Party Negotiators tell North Korea, “We will give you tons and tons of food for your starving people, if you will stop feverously working on your nuclear weapons program”.
  • North Korea says, “OK we will stop” (in Korean).
  • Six Party Negotiators give tons and tons of food to North Korea for its starving people.
  • Six Party Negotiators find out that North Korea is feverously working on its nuclear weapons program.
  • Six Party Negotiators say to North Korea, “We had an agreement whereby you would stop feverously working on your nuclear weapons program”.
  • North Korea smiles (in Korean) and says to the Six Party Negotiators, “What agreement?” (in Korean).

I just heard you say to yourself, “Self, this blog posting is not that long.” (I bet you are wondering how I know what you are saying to yourself.)

The Smartfella says it could have been a lot longer if the nine bullets above had been repeated over and over and over because these nine bullets have happened over and over and over.

We now have a new agreement with North Korea. The News Media is calling it a “Breakthrough”.

Let us all hope that the Umpteenth Time Is A Charm.

Would I kid you?