Sunday, August 14, 2011

What A Straw Poll Is Is A Mystery But I Do Wish It Were Better At Being Whatever It Is

Go ahead and admit it, you do not know what a Straw Poll is, do you?

Please allow me to help you come to a better understanding of just what a Straw Poll really is. Of course I will be using the Iowa State Fair Straw Poll in Ames, Iowa to instruct you. The Iowa Straw Poll is a confusing political exercise which is a testament to...

  • The presidential candidate who has the best organized political organization behind him/her.
  • The presidential candidate who has the best organized political organization behind him/her who has the biggest tent.
  • The presidential candidate who has the best organized political organization behind him/her who has the biggest tent who serves the best BBQ.
  • The presidential candidate who has the best organized political organization behind him/her who has the biggest tent who serves the best BBQ and the most busses to ride the eaters from the BBQ to the place where the voting is being done.

Now do you understand?

Referring back to the Subject of this Foolishness...Or Is It?, “I Do Wish It Were Better At Being Whatever It Is”. Can you imagine how much better off we would all be if the Iowa Straw Poll were an exact, infallible, never-been-wrong predictor of who the next President of the good ole USofA was going to be?

It the Iowa Straw Poll was that good, we could do away with the agony of the rest of the Presidential Campaign and just wait for the Inauguration.

We would all be spared the awful ordeal we are about to endure. Instead we could just take naps in front of the TV while Talking Heads just sat there staring straight ahead with nothing to say. It would be like watching CSPAN for the next 14 months.

There it is. You are now educated about Straw Polls. The only question left unanswered is... What Does Straw Have to Do with All of This?

Would I kid u?