Friday, August 05, 2011

An America Living Inside Cubicles Would Be A Better America

W.C Fields was known for his crazy humor. He was also well known for his dislike of children. He many times said that he thought children should be raised inside a barrel and fed through a hole. I think he may have been on to something really worth thinking about with this comedy bit of his.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not advocating his Barrel Feeding Plan for our children. I am thinking he had a point; if you think of the barrel idea as an analogy for my idea that the good ole USofA might be better off if it were segmented into cubicles. Cubicles would isolate us from each other and that would be good. Please allow me to explain (this is going to be a hard one to explain)…

Because of our world of instant communication, we spread news very fast. Some of this news is not helpful to society.

Let’s say an awful person in New Hampshire does some gruesome thing. Within moments an awful person in Oregon who has the potential to be a gruesome person sees what his fellow awful person in New Hampshire has done and says to himself, “Self, that is a very gruesome thing to have done to someone else. Why did not I think of that?”

After a momentary disappointment in his own inability to come up with new gruesome ideas on his own, he thinks, “I’m going to do that terrible thing too”. This is how the modern world spreads evil.

My wish is that different parts of America were divided into Isolated Cubicles. If we were so divided, we would not spread our evilness all over this country.

Cubicle Living, as great an idea as it is, does have its drawbacks…

  • In the Cubicle America the modern phenomena of getting Tattoos all over our bodies would still be contained inside the originating cubicle. That would really be a shame … Or would it?
  • If we lived inside Cubicles, many of us would never have been exposed to Lady Gaga. That would be terrible … Or would it?
  • In a Cubicle Controlled Country many of us would never have had the pleasure of watching American Idol. That would be horrific … Or would it?

The late Paul Harvey just came into my Computer Room and told me I ought to tell you the Rest of the Story about W.C. Fields and the children and the barrel and the feeding and the hole. The Rest of the Story is that W.C. went on to say, “and, when they become teenagers, plug up the hole”.

Don’t blame me. I did not say this terrible thing about our children/teenagers. I only related what W.C. said.

Would W.C. kid u?