Tuesday, April 12, 2011

How To Get Rid Of Your Wife

Want to have your wife go away for awhile? These calculations are brought to you by me and my calculator.

This bit of reasoning is a re-occurring theme with me but I’m going to have a go at it again because it appears no one is paying any attention to me (especially the U.S. Congress).

The recent and ongoing Budget Battle keeps throwing around Millions and Billions and Trillions. It could very likely be that our congress is getting so used to the terms that our congress appears to have lost sight of the true meaning of the words…

Our 2011 Federal Budget is only 3.55. How big can 3.55 be? Even if you tack on Trillion to the 3.55, it is still only 3.55 and 3.55 is not even 4.

Think of it this way: If you were to give your wife the three different sums of money below with the following instructions the result would be the result…

Go out shopping and spend $1,000 each day and don’t come home until you have spent all the money I have given you.

  • Money If you gave her $1 Million, you would not see your wife again for 2.7 years.
  • Money If you gave her $1 Billion, you would not see your wife again for 2,740 years.
  • Money If you gave her $1 Trillion, you would not see your wife again for 2,739,726 years.

I am sure that many members of our congress would look at my Foolish Calculations above and have their staff issue a statement that would go something like this…

I do find this interesting but I see it as an attempt to confuse the folk back home about something or other. 2,739,726 is actually 2.7 million. I’m smarter than a 5th grader (or you would not have elected me…or would you have?) and any 5th grader knows that 2.7 is not even 3 and 3 ain’t that much.

Numbers are really strange and fascinating. Do you realize that the above Foolish Calculations will also work if a wife wanted to make her husband go away for awhile? Smile

Would I kid u?