Monday, April 11, 2011

There’s The Tree In The Forest Dilemma & There’s The Other One

We all know the age old dilemma that goes…

If A Tree Falls In The Forest When No One Is Around, Does It Make A Noise?

I am pecking this Foolishness…Or Is It? directed at the new age dilemma…

If A News Camera Is Turned On In The Middle/Far East, Was The Demonstration That It Records Already There Or Does It Immediately Come Into Existence Because The Camera Was Turned On?

This requires us to also consider…

  • On our news programs we always see signs that are printed in English. Are the demonstrations so organized and sophisticated that the sign holders stop and re-sign themselves all the time so that in the Netherlands the signs printed in Dutch, in Russia they are printed in Russian, in Brazil they are printed in Portuguese, etc.?
  • If the above bullet is correct, the Sign Making Industry must be really big over there. In addition to Big Oil they must also have Big Sign.
  • Have you noticed that the demonstrators are always wide-eyed? Is this a requirement? Is there a sign in the waiting rooms where they go to sign up to begin their careers as demonstrators that reads...
  • Non Wide Eyed Persons Need Not Apply

  • Are the demonstrators driven by a power larger than themselves? In other words, if the camera was never turned off, would they be unable to stop demonstrating and eventually die before our very eyes clutching their current sign?

All of these considerations are very confusing but there is one thing I know for certain...

The person who invented the term “Yankee Go Home” is in the Demonstration Hall of Fame and has had statues erected in his honor all over the Middle/Far East.

Would I kid u?