Friday, March 04, 2011

Numbers Made Simple In Our Congress

You know it has to be true because I saw it with my own eyes and I have never lied to you ... Or have I?

What I saw was an impassioned plea by a member of our U.S. Congress about reducing the budget. Here is what I heard him say...
“I ask my colleges to consider what is being proposed by the honorable gentleman from the other side of the aisle. After much soul searching and consultations with every number savvy guy I could get my hands on, I have proposed a reduction of 300 million dollars in the funds allocated for this worthy project.

I could not believe the ignorance of fiscally fiscal issues displayed by my good friend when he countered with a reduction of 3 billion dollars and called it a larger reduction than the reduction I proposed.

I have been in this august body for 32 years and it never ceases to amaze me that those members in the opposition party cannot understand basic arithmetic. Am I smarter that a fifth grader? You bet I am. I am certainly smart enough to know that 300 is a hell of a lot bigger than 3!

It is on days like this that I think that 32 years may just be enough. Having to go to happy hour every day with the likes of this honorable gentleman is becoming too hard to bear. I just may hang it up and go back to the state that sent me here 32 years ago, if I could only remember which state that was.”

Ok I admit it I made every bit of the above quote up ... Or did I?

Would I kid u?