Monday, February 07, 2011

I Am Now In Complete Charge Of Entertainment And Music At Next Year’s Super Bowl

Help is on the way... Me!
I just received a call from the Commissioner of the National Football League. He has seen the light. He said I am now in charge of entertainment, music and the halftime show at next year’s Super Bowl. My plan is simple...
  • Christina Aguilera will not be singing the National Anthem. In her stead will be a uniformed Army Sergeant Baritone who will not take one syllable words and extend them into eight syllable words. Since I am a firm believer in the punishment befitting the crime, this is what I would prescribe for Christina... She will not be allowed within 500 miles of the game itself. She will not be allowed to watch the game on TV. Neither will she be allowed to read any newspaper about the game either before or after the game. She will be put on 24 hour surveillance and the person who even tells her the final score will be subjected to the same penalty I am prescribing for her in the following Super Bowl. If you think I am being too harsh, watch her “performance” by clicking below... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgxA3Aus8jY&feature=player_embedded
    UPDATE...On 2/18/2011 I clicked on this link and found that UTube has cancelled it. That's OK. It would have probably damaged your ear drums.
  • Back in my youth I went to a Tulane University freshman football game. I and the other 63 fans in attendance were treated to a halftime show that far surpassed what those Peas People inflicted upon us last night. The Tulane game had in the stands about ten guys from the University’s big band tooting throughout the game. At halftime they went down on the field and played the Gillette Look Sharp/Be Sharp March and lined up in single file on the 50 yard line in an exact replication of an Unshaven Male Facial Hair. It was great! It was certainly a lot better than the Peas People... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIi-ku0nRGQ&feature=related
What this country needs is the Southern University Marching Band... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCJWuXCqDDk
We also need a strong dose of John Phillip Souza... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znEePD1nJxo&feature=related
Would I kid u?