Thursday, January 13, 2011

I Just Became Rich In 93 Minutes & 1 Second

It came to me in a flash (that’s the 1 second referred to in the subject line above). I then spent 93 minutes calling the heads of the news departments at NBC, CBS, ABC, the AP, Fox, CNN, TNT, Reuters, MSNBC, CNBC and a couple of others. The brilliance of my proposal was seen immediately and was accepted by them as a real concrete way to save a lot of money.

I proposed a substantial remuneration in the form of 5% of all the money my brilliant idea would save them in the next 25 years. They accepted my payment plan as quickly as they had accepted my original money saving idea. That’s it. I am rich!

Did I forget to tell you exactly what was my Brilliant Money Making Money Saving Make Me Rich Idea? I apologize. Here it is in all its brilliant simplicity...

  • I was watching the news broadcast on TV today about the floods in Australia.
  • I said to myself, “Self, that looks like the pictures of the floods in Iowa last year”.
  • That’s when it hit me.
  • The news organizations spend millions of dollars every year sending cameramen all over the world to take pictures of one disaster after another.
  • The pictures they send back all look the same as the last similar disaster.
  • What they need to do is build up a video bank of all the various disasters that we see over and over each night on TV: Floods, Fires, Earthquakes, Tornadoes, Hurricanes, Rabbits Attacking Presidents, etc.
  • Then when one of these bad things happen again they just go to their computers and pull out a stored video of that particular type of happening and send it out over the airways for all of America to be amazed at or saddened by.
  • They have then saved the expense of salary for the travelers, meals, airplane tickets, worn out equipment replacement, shirts and baseball caps with logos on them, etc.
  • I get 5% of everything they save.

I just got a phone call I got from a cameraman from NBC. He told me that he was going to sue me. I assumed that he was suing me because he was losing his job. I was surprised when he told me that he was suing me for Nifty Idea Infringement. He said he had been putting my brilliant idea into actual practice for 32 years & I had stolen it from him. My idea was his idea.

I offered him 2% of my 5%. He accepted. Now we are both going to be rich.

Would I kid u?